On boxing day she finally went to the hospital after being ill for months. She thought this time she had a chest infection or a bad flu. They knew straight away it was worse and sent her for a cat scan which detected tumours in her throat and lungs. The annoying horrible thing is that she had visited her GP four times from the early summer complaining about constant fatigue, a burning sensation all over her body that was making her itch and scratch and a sore throat and what she felt were swollen glands. The GP gave her several topical creams and ointments and antihistamines. Obviously these did nothing and things got worse and yet the GP never picked up any of these symptoms of cancer. The hospital knew in five minutes! She's my cousin and best friend. I've literally known her all her life. She was the first baby I remember being allowed to hold when I was 7 years old. She followed me around despite me being older and just stuck to me. We have been very, very close our whole lives. She's only 27 and has a 3 year old daughter. I have had uncles who have had cancer. I have seen them go through treatment. I have watched them die. I work caring for people who are dying from cancer. I know what it is and I have dealt with it but this is just so different. I have never felt such fear in my life. I have never felt like this. Frozen and powerless. The doctors seem positive and my cousin is too. Frighteningly positive, I know she's going to put her all into getting well again but I don't think she fully grasps the chemo which is beginning tomorrow. Initially they said 6 cycles of chemo but now they say it may be more. She has a last scan tomorrow morning which will determine exactly what stage she is at. Although because of the symptoms she has already displayed from she was admitted to hospital they are estimating it's stage 3. As it's in both lungs and throat/chest. She hasn't really witnessed what chemotherapy is. She's read a little about it but it's just so gruelling and awful and she's so tiny. She's only 45kg at the minute. I'm going to be there when she starts it tomorrow. Apparently Hodgkin's Lymphoma is a treatable cancer and the numbers are good for people becoming cancer free. Although I think it depends on when the cancer was detected and how quickly it was treated. My cousin had the rash and felt unwell in July when we went to London. We saw little of each other last year due to work so I didn't really notice how bad things were until I saw her on Christmas night and she frightened me, she looked literally dead. Grey, so thin and frail and she was moving in slow motion. I screamed at her to go to hospital which she did the next morning. She said she knew she had to go but wanted to get Christmas over for her daughter first. As soon as she was diagnosed I cut my hours at work to just 3 days to be there with her and to help look after her daughter. I don't know exactly what this post is. It's a vent, a rant or whatever. They say it's therapeutic to write things down and to let them go from you. I don't know. I may not post as much and I may not participate in things as much but I will always come back here for a little distraction and relief.