EastEnders, funny lines.

[Emmerdalefan]

EastEnders has some light humour and dark humour, the way they can lighten a dramatic scene with a funny line such as when Angie wanted Den's blood and Pete Beale said she did not want the vindaloo then. Here are some funny lines from Easties that has left me curled up at times.

Angie throws a glass at Den and misses in which Den's reaction is "Careful Ange, the could have hit me".

Den to Jan "WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE ANGE!!!!"

Pat Wicks after Pete slaps her when she insults Kathy "Normal night in the Vic that is all".

Nick Cotton after he has been beaten up by Pete "I wont be driven out by some spud seller so do your worst PC Plod and Peter Potato".

Kathy to nosey old Lou "Nah you aint going I am throwing you out, go on and if you ever come back again I'll throw you aaht the flamin window".

Apart from the last but one, all of them happened just before the famous Duff, Duffs. I much preferred the old theme tune of EastEnders as it was very dramatic and helped the shock of the impact of an episode ending, any more anyone can think of?

[holeinmydonut]

loved pauline and peggy havin a bit of a hoo hah.

peggy: Oh, shut up you peroxide old bag!
pauline: Oh, yeah? What's this, then - strawberry blonde at seventy, that's "real" is it?
peggy: Shut up! I'm *not* seventy
pauline: No, but you look it!

brilliant, i miss wendy. a supeb actor. for me wendy was ee.

[Emmerdalefan]

I agree totally about Pauline Fowler. Out of her, Kathy, Angie, Ethel and Lou she was the last out of those 4 classic female originals. 1985 to 2006 she reigned for and was the Annie Sugden and Annie Walker of Albert Square. Pauline was one of my fave characters of the show.

[holeinmydonut]

i loved the scene when pat burst into the church to stop janine getting married.



"Her name's Janine Butcher - and she's about as jewish as a bacon sandwich!"

[Emmerdalefan]

Pauline to Peggy "Strawberry blonde at 70"
Peggy replies "Shut it I'm not 70".
Pauline replies "Well you look it".

Phil to Jane about where Grant was "Have you seen him?" in which Jane replies who he is asking about and Phil says "The Pope, who do you think?".

[James from London]

"How about 'Embellish your lampshade'?"

"You're vibrating."

[holeinmydonut]

sonia to pauline: YOU want to bring up chloe? you couldn't bring up phlegm

janine goes to the cupboard - Barry's ashes inside
"oh Barry there you are again, still getting in the way I see"

martin " ill report you "
stacey: "who to the apple police "

[Emmerdalefan]

Frank to Robbie "I wanna see my face in those tiles" about cleaning the Vic toilets as a punishment for a late night lock in and break in.
Sonia "I wanna see his with an apple in his mouth".

Mark to Ian "Lisa's left Phil"
Ian "Oh fantastic, we knew when she'd see the light, best news I heard in ages".

[James from London]

"It's like WOMEN IN LOVE, only weirder."

[Emmerdalefan]

Dan Sullivan after kidnapping Mel "I am doing the worst things you can imagine to her, and then some".

Phil to Dan "I am gonna ask you a serious question and I wanna straight answer. Are you putting on weight?"

Dan was classic with his put downs.

[Emmerdalefan]

A milkwoman drops some milk on the ground in Albert Square. Nick Cotton says "Oh well no use crying over it is there?"

Dot's "ooh I say"s is funny in itself.

Zoe "You Aint My Muvva".

[Emmerdalefan]

Pauline Fowler "Its not Arthur's fault he got made redundant and no one wanted his dinkies".
Lou Beale "It aint my fault either no one wanted his dinkies".

1986 in particular was probably one of EastEnders best ever years and at the time the show was so gritty and controversial it was talked about in hospitals, clubs, offices, everywhere. Den and Angie dominated 1986 as did Arthur's decline.

[holeinmydonut]

Pauline Fowler "Its not Arthur's fault he got made redundant and no one wanted his dinkies".
Lou Beale "It aint my fault either no one wanted his dinkies".

1986 in particular was probably one of EastEnders best ever years and at the time the show was so gritty and controversial it was talked about in hospitals, clubs, offices, everywhere. Den and Angie dominated 1986 as did Arthur's decline.

i can vaguely remember lou adding a bit in that which went something like "It aint my fault either no one wanted his dinkies, apart from that cow at number 10." genius and so true!!! the beeb wouldnt get away with that today. funny how both brookie and ee were quite political in their early days where as corrie steered clear and existed in its own little make believe bubble.

[Emmerdalefan]

Also when the show began it dealt with racism and homophobia esp when Nick Cotton insulted Ali Osman. I wont repeat what he said but you will probably know if you have seen the first ep. Easties was very gritty in those days. But it had black humour. I loved Lou Beale's unintentionally funny lines in episode 1 as well like:

"You are looking a bit peaky" then when Pauline refused to say why she was down the doctors Lou said "I'll ask your bruvva" then later on she said about Michelle "She needs a good coating an all. Too soft I am". Proper old school Cockney lady was old Louise Ada Beale.

[holeinmydonut]

zoe slater on her family:

'my sister is my mum. my Dad is my granddad and my uncle, and my uncle is my dad.'


janine talking about barry after he was pushed:

' if only his heart wasn't so full of love! if only he wasn't such a romantic! if only he'd worn slip-on shoes!'

kat and belinda avin a ding dong:

belinda:

'i hope they take plastic.'

kat:

why? you gonna getcha boobs out?

[Emmerdalefan]

In the 1980s Corrie and Emmerdale Farm were not dull but far from political unlike Brookie and Easties.

Frank Butcher "Whaddya fink I am hey, some sort of pilchard" "Hold the front page".

[James from London]

"I'm just ironing. Don't tell me the church frowns on domestic chores."

[James from London]

"I once spilled a Bloody Mary in a jacuzzi. Caused no end of fuss. They thought I'd been stabbed."

[Emmerdalefan]

Jamie is trying to test start his new car and manages to chug it round the square but it judders and jerks. Jim Branning says "You wanna try and wind the string up a bit tighter next time son".

Jim Branning about Irene's driving lessons to Terry Raymond "I thought she was already in the drivers seat".

Zoe about Mel Gibson when in one of his films he is being massaged. Zoe says "I'd rather use ice cream, A nice dollop of chocolate chip".

[James from London]

Irene, giving her son a video of "9½ Weeks" for Christmas: "It's a love story."