Jan 94. David calls Pat the world's worst mother. David calls Grant a right little gorilla. Bianca calls Grant stupid and really boring. Grant calls himself and Phil two tomcats that have just had the snip. Grant calls Nadia an old slag. Phil calls Nadia a drunken slag with an over active imagination. Kathy calls Nadia a scheming little cow. Phil calls Ricky a silly sod and a dipstick. Ricky calls Mandy a bitch. Tricky Dicky calls Mandy the ghost of Christmas past. Mandy calls Tricky Dicky as funny as a broken leg. Tricky Dicky calls Bianca a hundred percent woman. Sanjay calls Bianca jailbait. Sanjay calls Tricky Dicky's sofa as comfortable as a dead rhinoceros. Richard Hillman calls Sanjay a creep and a nothing. Sanjay calls himself stupid. Sanjay calls Gita stupid. Gita calls Sanjay weak, a rat, a bastard, a patronising little git, a lying cheating pig and an intruder threatening her and her child. Gita calls Meena a whore and a bitch. Meena calls Gita tense and vindictive. Ian and Cindy call the twins Lucy and Peter. Jules calls Norwich very very nice. Gita slaps Sanjay. Meena slaps Gita. Gita gives Tricky Dicky a black eye. Mandy shags Ricky, nicks Pauline's purse and pisses off for seventeen years.
Feb 94. Alan calls Bianca a tart. Bianca calls Alan boring. Bianca calls Tricky Dicky brilliant. Tricky Dicky calls Bianca a starry eyed leech. Natalie calls Tricky Dicky a slime ball and a div. Tricky Dicky calls Sanjay a sniveling self pitying failure and a complete and utter prat. Grant calls Nigel a prat. Nigel calls himself a happy prat. Tricky Dicky calls Sanjay and Nigel a great advert for celibacy. Nigel calls Grant a stormtrooper of love. Frank calls Nigel a masochist. Frank calls Arthur Henry Kissinger. Frank calls Ricky Mr Blobby. Frank calls Aunty Nellie a cross between Godzilla and The Terminator. Aunty Nellie calls Frank a conman. Mark calls Aunty Nellie a nosy old biddy and nothing but a bleeding nuisance. Aunty Nellie calls David a greedy little toad. Frank calls David a wrong'un, as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike, as slippery as an eel, as reliable as a two bob watch and an absolute miracle boy. Ricky calls David a nutter. Kathy calls Ian a liar and a cheat. Cindy calls Kathy a treacherous cow and a nasty piece of work. Amanda Holden sells jewellery on the market. Hattie moves to Norwich and becomes a pop star.
Mar 94. Tricky Dicky calls Pat an overbearing peroxide vision of distinct unloveliness. David calls Pat sick and evil. Carol calls Pat a scrubber. Pat calls Carol a lying little slapper. Pat calls her life a big black hole. Tricky Dicky calls Bianca the biggest tart he's ever met. Tricky Dicky calls Ian a jumped up little prat. Ian calls running a fruit and veg stall a fate worse than death. Nigel calls Albert Square a great place to live. Liam calls Nigel the Fat Man. Kathy calls Phil a silly plonker. Alan calls Bianca a stupid cow. Arthur calls Aunty Nellie an old bag. Phil torches the car lot and kills a homeless kid. Frank calls Phil a psychopath and a stupid bastard. Frank calls Ricky some sort of pilchard.
Apr 94. Kev calls Robbie a daft donkey. Pat calls Robbie a little punk. Michelle calls Robbie a little prat. Bianca calls Robbie a little liar. Bianca calls Billie a little brat and a little so and so. Bianca calls Nigel a pain, a pig and a flipping slavedriver. Nigel calls Take That those blokes with their shirts off. Nigel calls Liam an evil bastard and a swine. Natalie calls Liam a pervert with a camcorder. Phil calls Dougie a nutter. Sharon calls Dougie a weirdo. Grant calls Dougie a nutter, a good mate and something out of Pet Cemetery. Terry calls Dougie a nutter, a loony and a space cadet. Michelle calls Dougie a nutter, a lunatic, a psycho and a madman. Michelle calls Sharon really stupid. Michelle calls Grant a nutter, scum and crazy. Pauline calls Grant the one who does the damage and Phil the poor sap who runs round with a dustpan and brush. Grant calls Pauline an old bag. Tricky Dicky calls the Council Tax worse than the Poll Tax. Steve and Della call their salon Kool For Kuts. Meena calls Sanjay filth, too stupid to suffer, a crude jumped up barrow boy and a dog that doesn't get his dinner put in front of him. Sanjay calls Meena a sad nasty little snob and an oversexed slut. Arthur crashes his car. Robbie crashes Frank's car. Michelle hits Robbie. Meena spits in Sanjay's face. Cindy knees Sanjay in the nuts. Dougie shoots Michelle. Frank disappears off the face of the earth. Zainab plays a nurse.
May 94. Gita calls Meena a dog. Cindy calls Meena a selfish cow. Ricky calls Pat an ugly old cow. Pat calls Carol a nasty minded vicious little cow. Pat calls Robbie a little runt. Carol calls Robbie a little so and so. David calls Robbie a little toerag. David calls Sharon one of the most beautiful women he's ever set eyes on. Grant calls David a smart arse, Pat's boy wonder and a parasite. David calls Grant all mouth. Sanjay calls Grant a jammy so and so. Pauline calls the Jacksons no better than thieves and a disgrace to Albert Square. Arthur calls Pauline stubborn. Pauline calls Arthur cruel. Mark calls Arthur an idiot. Pauline calls Mark thoughtless. Aunty Nellie calls herself and Jules a couple of old has beens no good to anybody. Pauline calls Aunty Nellie the Ghost of Christmas Never To Come. Jimmy calls Kathy a classy number and a bit of a looker. Kathy calls Jimmy a slimy toerag. Phil calls Jimmy a weasel and a nutter. Liam calls Nigel a pervert and a porn pusher. Bianca calls Blossom an old bat. Michelle calls Geoff a pompous old prig. Geoff calls Michelle the most beautiful mother in the world, a little smasher and an idiot. Steve calls Della flaky. Carol punches Alan. Grant punches David. Pat slaps Ricky.
Jun 94. Phil calls Grant criminally insane. Grant calls Ian scum. Sharon calls Ian a scumbag. Ricky calls David a scumbag and a slimy git. David calls himself a scumbag with a nice hot mug of milky tea. David calls Pat an idiot, a meal ticket, a legend on toilet walls and the only family he's got left. Diane calls Frank a pathetic old clown who mucked up his whole life and everybody else's. David calls Diane a great kid but a bit over the top in the imagination department. Blossom calls herself a burden, a stupid old moo and a silly old woman who's had a fright and won't go home. Bianca calls Blossom Gran. Mark calls Steve a tight fisted git and a brick wall. Steve calls Mark all wise and deep. Steve calls Della gay, confused and a slag. Steve calls Binnie bad news. Binnie calls Steve a scalp hunter. Kathy calls Robbie a cheeky devil. Robbie calls Kathy a silly old bag. Della hits Steve. Alan hits Robbie. Nigel says twat. Fat Barry plays a paramedic. Pat gets caught nicking from Sharon's purse and howls like an animal.