Not really "agony", but weird situation

**Fajita Mel** · 10-28-2009, 03:43 AM

Okay, so I came back to Soapchat after I cooled my heels. It took a couple of months but I heard about the "Dallas" pilot and decided to check it out. I have another interesting issue that popped up and while it's actually quite laughable to me, on another hand it's kind of sad.

I have this, uh, "friend" who I have a strained relationship with because she's sort of a troublemaker. I don't trust her any farther than I can throw her, really, because she's always trying to start things between my best friend and I. It's always been that way. She has horrible self esteem, always was the kid who was picked on, doesn't work, lives off the state, you know the kind. Well, she's bipolar too. Not usually a problem, I can get along with other people like me because I understand what it's like. Not so much! She is convinced that she is Lucille Ball (yes, the TV legend) reincarnated. Ummm....okay, a few things wrong with that picture. Number one....she was born in 1981 and Lucille Ball died in 1989. Number two....I think this girl is an effing whack job and saying this for attention and sympathy or something. Number three....just my personal thing, I don't believe in reincarnation, not an issue. She says that this belief stems from an additional diagnosis of psychosis. I don't know how to deal with it. I want people to be able to get along with me and my disorder, but this is so beyond belief that....wow, I just don't know. It's like the reaction I had at the Fansource convention last year when that one fan started to cry on Morgan Fairchild's shoulder and then pulled the SAME crap on Linda Gray...."Come on, seriously?!" Sort of like you feel bad for them, but you swear to God they're doing it for attention and are just exasperated with the CRAP at the same time. Sorry, I guess I just had to get it off my chest. This is a new one for me.

**nofoodleft** · 10-28-2009, 02:55 PM

sounds like this girl needs professional help, whether she is doing it for attention or actually serious. I'm bipolar too and have struggled with it for ages now, but nothing like that has happened to me. Give your friendship with her a chance for a week or two, be understanding, concerning and ignore what you feel you should ignore. If she continues this way, she is obviously taking the **** out of you so slowly drift away...

**Fajita Mel** · 10-28-2009, 03:24 PM

I've given her a couple of chances to redeem herself for her big mouth in the last six years....do you think it's really worth it now? Oh, and she's seeing a therapist....who doesn't appear to be helping.

**Dallasdaze** · 10-28-2009, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by Melanie

Okay, so I came back to Soapchat after I cooled my heels. It took a couple of months but I heard about the "Dallas" pilot and decided to check it out. I have another interesting issue that popped up and while it's actually quite laughable to me, on another hand it's kind of sad.

I have this, uh, "friend" who I have a strained relationship with because she's sort of a troublemaker. I don't trust her any farther than I can throw her, really, because she's always trying to start things between my best friend and I. It's always been that way. She has horrible self esteem, always was the kid who was picked on, doesn't work, lives off the state, you know the kind. Well, she's bipolar too. Not usually a problem, I can get along with other people like me because I understand what it's like. Not so much! She is convinced that she is Lucille Ball (yes, the TV legend) reincarnated. Ummm....okay, a few things wrong with that picture. Number one....she was born in 1981 and Lucille Ball died in 1989. Number two....I think this girl is an effing whack job and saying this for attention and sympathy or something. Number three....just my personal thing, I don't believe in reincarnation, not an issue. She says that this belief stems from an additional diagnosis of psychosis. I don't know how to deal with it. I want people to be able to get along with me and my disorder, but this is so beyond belief that....wow, I just don't know. It's like the reaction I had at the Fansource convention last year when that one fan started to cry on Morgan Fairchild's shoulder and then pulled the SAME crap on Linda Gray...."Come on, seriously?!" Sort of like you feel bad for them, but you swear to God they're doing it for attention and are just exasperated with the CRAP at the same time. Sorry, I guess I just had to get it off my chest. This is a new one for me.

Before I post this post I want to make it clear that I am only expressing my thoughts/feelings and I am not in ANY way arguing/bickering.

With this said, I am glad you are back Melanie!

One thing you said, I found
to be a little uneasy with me was when you talked about your friend doesn't work and lives off the state and you continued with,"You know the kind." What ,"kind" is that exactly? So many in our society with a severe mental illness can't work due to their illness(es), and there is no shame in that. Your friend sounds very ill, and may not be able to handle a job. The stigma is so awful for those who
have to live off the state and/or the goverment. When in fact, there is no shame needed. These people aren't lazy, embarrasments to society, on the contrary they are individuals that are dealing with and recovering from a
horrible chemical imbalance. Some with these illness can work and some can't.
Since you have this illness I know you understand the harsh realities of living with this disorder. There is your friend with this disorder plus Psychosis.
Wow! That is a tall order! I hope you understand my point? Once again,
welcome back!!

**graysonmom** · 10-28-2009, 05:55 PM

Hi Melanie-

What you say about reincarnation doesn't particularly freak me out. Mind you, I don't believe in it, but it doesn't hurt anyone, so if I were in your situation, I'd just be like "Okay, Lucy. Whatever you say." Or play along and ask her what it's like to be a TV star. Not meaning to be condescending, but it's not worth arguing about. She can believe whatever she wants to believe if it makes her feel better about herself.

But the bit about deliberately causing problems between you and your other friend? Nope, that S**t's gotta go. That's not just weird. That's messing with your life. I feel sorry for her if she's having problems, but if she's unable to function in society without messing up other people's lives, then either she needs help, or she's just a jerk.

**bacteriophage** · 10-28-2009, 06:48 PM

I don't really understand why you're friends with her. You don't seem to like her at all. Just keep your friendship casual and you won't have to deal with her much.

**Fajita Mel** · 10-28-2009, 08:27 PM

Well, the fact that she doesn't work has nothing to do with her mental illness, I want to make that clear first of all. She IS a lazy person and has been since I first knew her, before I knew she had ANY problem. No drive, no get up and go, would rather have other people pay her bills and is fine with it. Perfectly fine with living off the state and it has nothing to do with her illness. She was raised that way because her mother is just like her. She HAS worked before. She just chooses not to. I know her like a book. It's bad but I think I only associate with her because I'd feel bad for dumping her....even though she starts drama. My best friend tries convincing me that she's a good person, just messed up and misunderstood, blah blah....but I'm like "How can you say that when she deliberately tries to start sh*t between us?"

Why am I friends with her? Hmmm....well, the three of us started our friendship on a common interest....we're all huge fans of Lucille Ball....which is part of the reason why I think she suffers from these delusions. I've been a fan since I was seven. But I don't think I'm her! I met my best friend 9 years ago and the delusional chick came along 3 years later. I just think I'm still there from guilt. I don't dump people easily.