Dallas Situation Game

[RedBeetEggs]

D. Run over Charlie with your truck to finish her off, then do a hand-hoof high five with Darius

You are Ray and have just committed yet another manslaughter crime. Do you...

A. Fess up and take the blame, figuring the punishment is worth getting rid of Charlie for good.
B. Blame Aunt Lil because she's a crazy old coot anyway.
C. Bury the body on your property in Hutch McKinney's old grave and hope you're dead when they dig up the body 30 years later.
D. Run to your brother JR and beg him to cover up the murder for you as a huge favor to you
E. Run to your brother JR and beg him to cover up the murder for you and offer him one night with Donna as compensation (after realizing he'd never do you a favor)
F. Other?

[Vote4Cliff]

C. Bury the body on your property in Hutch McKinney's old grave and hope you're dead when they dig up the body 30 years later.

You are Teresa and you are fed up with washing JR's digusting skid-marked underwear. Do you...

A. Buy Tide Boost packets to throw in the wash
B. Pre-rise with Oxy-Clean
C. Leave extra rolls of toilet paper in his bathroom as a hint
D. Stop cooking big roast beef dinners
E. Quit - no amount of money is worth having to deal with JR dirty drawers
F. Tell Miss Ellie that Sue Ellen and Pam should start doing their husband's laundry
G. Other?

[RedBeetEggs]

This is a low blow situation! JR doesn't make skid marks. However...

B. Pre-rinse with Oxy-Clean (because I loves me some Billy Mays products!)

You are Cliff and you have to spend the night at Southfork during a tornado. Do you...

A. Peep through JR's keyhole to see if what RBE says is true about him
B. Sneak into the guest room and get reacquainted with Sue Ellen
C. Snuggle on the couch with Don Lockwood
D. Sneak into John Ross's room and snuggle with a naked Tommy McKay
E. Other?

[Vote4Cliff]

Billy!!!!! I was such a Billy Mays groupie I miss him soooooo much! I would have bought a pile of steaming dog poo if Billy pitched it. He was the best.


E. Other - sneak into Miss Ellie's room, latch onto her remaining breast, suckle and snuggle pretending she is Rebecca because you miss your mama

You are Miss Ellie. You wake up to find Cliff Barnes sucking on your boob and reverting to babyhood. Do you...

A. Wake up Clayton to punch his lights out
B. Let him snuggle - you feel bad for him - and had you stayed with Digger you may have been his mama
C. See if Dr. Elby is still in business - Cliff obviously needs psychological counselling
D. Yell for JR to come and help
E. Other?

[Scarlett]

E: Other: Punch him out yourself, even in your senior years you can still take him on and win.

You are Sue Ellen Ewing in 2010 cruising the Internet message boards to read what others are saying about you. You come across one uppity little girl who goes by the name of V4C, and is always insulting you and your life choices. Do you...

A. Join the message board under the handle Cliff's Number One Girl and start defending yourself.
B. Have Harry McSween take care of the V4C problem.
C. Make a personal plea to Cliff Barnes to throw a bone to the poster who seems to idolize you so much so that she will get off your case.
D. Find out where V4C lives and handle this thing in person.
E. Take some of V4C's advice to heart and try to change your ways.
F. Other

[Vote4Cliff]

A. Join the message board under the handle Cliff's Number One Girl and start defending yourself.

You are Scarlett. You notice that suddenly V4C starts posting about how sexy JR Ewing is, how she thinks JR and Sue Ellen are a great couple who are deeply in love and should never have broken up, and how Cliff is annoying. Do you...

A. Suspect that someone has hacked into V4C's account
B. Become concerned that V4C recently suffered a severe blow to the head
C. Decide V4C must have finally gotten tired of defending the underdog and decided it was easier to just go along with the crowd
D. Decide V4C must have finally come to her senses and realize that JR and Sue Ellen Ewing are the most beautiful and wonderful fictional characters ever created
E. Other?

[Scarlett]

E. Other: She's playing Devil's Advocate, trying to get you to see how ill-fated J.R. and Sue Ellen are.

You are Pammy Ewing and you find out that Charlie Wade's birthday is the same day as your wedding anniversary to Bobby. Bobby plans to spend the day with Charlie and postpone your anniversary weekend. Do you...

A. Demand that Bobby postpone Charlie instead.
B. Join in on Charlie's festivities so that you can still be with Bobby.
C. Stage a feud between Bobby and Charlie, thus freeing up Bobby for you.
D. Let Bobby celebrate with Charlie, but hold it against him for a very, very long time.
E. Arrange to have Charlie kidnapped, freeing up Bobby for you.
F. Other

[Vote4Cliff]

D. Let Bobby celebrate with Charlie, but hold it against him for a very, very long time.

You are Donna Culver-Krebbs. You are sometimes embarrassed by your simple cowboy husband at political events and wish he would be more a bit more polished. Do you...

A. Say nothing. Ray is a good man and you love him just the way he is.
B. Ask your step-son Dave Culver for advice.
C. Give Ray some books to read saying that it will give you more to discuss and enrich your marriage.
D. Start making excuses for not taking Ray to social functions with your political colleagues.
E. Drop out of politics altogether; you are happy just to be the wife of a cowboy.
F. Divorce Ray and marry Cliff Barnes; he is much better suited to being charming and intelligent at political events
G. Other?

[RedBeetEggs]

E. Drop out of politics altogether; you are happy just to be the wife of a cowboy. (isn't marriage all about the woman sacrificing her wants and desires for her husband's little idiosyncrasies?)

You are Donna Krebbs (dropped the Culver to become more simple) and are having a hard time adjusting to being a stay-at-home wife with nothing to do all day. Do you...

A. Invite Sue Ellen over and ask her how she passes the day
B. Placate yourself with cheap chocolates and The Price is Right reruns.
C. Start redecorating your home into a shabby chic cowboy home with Southwestern tablescapes and elk horn lamps.
D. Become involved in an online community that eventually takes up all of your free time and turns you into a zombie
E. Consider having an affair with a much younger man (maybe one of your nephew's camp counselors)
F. Other?

[Vote4Cliff]

A. Invite Sue Ellen over and ask her how she passes the day

You are Sue Ellen Ewing and Donna Krebbs has invited you over. You think the yard reeks of manure and you find the inside of the house tacky and tasteless. Do you...

A. Encourage Donna to have Ray build a bigger and better house
B. Encourage Donna to leave Ray and find someone who is more sophistocated
C. Suggest that she let you help redecorate and have a haul-off dumpster brought in to load up all the antler, duck and deer decor
D. Suggest that Donna join the DOA to keep her occupied
E. Hold a handkerchief primly over your nose and say that you cannot stay, the smell is making you nauseous
F. Other?

[Scarlett]

C. Suggest that she let you help redecorate and have a haul-off dumpster brought in to load up all the antler, duck and deer decor - it will keep you from drinking.

You are Donna Krebbs and have somehow given Sue Ellen Ewing permission to redecorate your whole house. It's been six months, you can finally move back in; Sue Ellen hands you one very expensive bill and you go into the house, only to find it to be exactly everything that you are against (opulent rich, fashion over animals, etc.) Do you...

A. Hand the bill back to Sue Ellen, saying that you are not satisfied with the results.
B. Suck it up, you'll do anything to fit in with your new family.
C. Have Ray handle everything.
D. 'Accidental' burn the house down and collect the insurance money.
E. Have a frank and honest discussion with Sue Ellen about how the house is not in line with 'your vision'.
F. Other

[Fajita Mel]

E. Have a frank and honest discussion with Sue Ellen about how the house is not in line with 'your vision'
and
F. Other -- Dig out Ray's stash, roll a big one and share it with Sue Ellen, and plan yet another remodel with your "vision" amidst the haze

[RedBeetEggs]

Uh Mel, you didn't provide a new situation!

[Vote4Cliff]

New scenario: It is Mel's birthday. JR Ewing offers to have a quick afternoon rendezvous in an out-of-the-way hotel allowing her to lick cake and ice cream off his naked body, if she promises to keep it quiet (he is married to Sue Ellen, after all!) Cliff Barnes offers to take her out on the town, dinner, dancing, ending with a passionate night in front of the condo fireplace. Does she...

A. Immediately accept JR's offer
B. Immediately accept Cliff's offer
C. Amend JR's offer to include a whole night together - make up some excuse to tell Sue Ellen
D. Amend Cliff's offer to include getting to lick cake and ice cream off his naked body
E. Turn down both offers and spend your birthday with friends and family
F. Other??

[Fajita Mel]

RBE---forgive me. It appears I was being a tad selfish!!!

F. Other - Darlin', it is 2012, I have John Ross' fine ass, and HE is licking cake and ice cream off of MY naked body. Whose birthday is this, anyway?

Should we start including new Dallas in this too? What the hell....

Flashback to 2005. You are helping Sue Ellen plan Ann Ewing's bachelorette weekend at the Hyatt. Now, these women at the party are over 50, but you want them to feel young. You suggest:

A. Cop strippers!!
B. Make-your-own-martini bar (oh sure, we trust Sue Ellen completely now, don't we?)
C. A "Passions Party"
D. Playing truth or dare with Bobby & JR after they are unknowingly administered sodium pentothal
E. Other?

[RedBeetEggs]

I guess you were too busy celebrating your birthday, Fajita. Just how long were you riding around with Hippie Larry?

Ewwwwww to C! At first I thought you meant the soap Passions that Jesse Metcalfe was on and I thought that would be weird with Chris being Sue Ellen's nephew and Ann's stepson, but then I figured I'd google it. EWWWW. Bobby and Ann are too old for that. TOO OLD.

So, my choice is A. Cop Strippers!

You are Ann and have just lost your diamond engagement ring down the underpants of a male stripper named Mr. Big. Do you...

A. Lie and tell Bobby you lost the ring when you fell off your horse riding
B. Tell Bobby the truth since he's so kind, understanding and completely emasculated
C. Ask Sue Ellen to reach in and grab it. The ring, of course.
D. Bite the bullet and reach in and grab it yourself. The ring, of course.
E. Other?

[Fajita Mel]

What? What the hell is wrong with C? Bobby and Ann can't enjoy "Climax In A Jar"?

C. Ask Sue Ellen to reach in and grab it. The ring, of course.

You are Sue Ellen. Upon retrieval of the ring, you "brushed" against something else....and now it's like walking through that park of hot young football players in 1984 all over again. What's a girl to do?

A. Nothing. You've gone this long, after all....
B. Make an excuse to leave early and go sneak into JR's room at "the home"
C. Grab Mr. Big and mount him in the bedroom's walk-in closet
D. Date night later with your latest purchase from the last Passion Party
E. Other?

[Vote4Cliff]

E. Suddenly recall the incredible sex you had with Cliff all those years ago and give him a booty call.

You are Cliff. Out of the blue you get a call from Sue Ellen who says the package one of the male strippers at a bachelorette party for Bobby's new wife reminded her of your enormous egg roll and the "good ol' days" - Do you...

A. Agree to see Sue Ellen...she may be old, but a sure thing is a sure thing
B. Laugh and tell Sue Ellen you aren't interested in a menopausal old hag, you like your women young
C. Pretend she called the wrong number
D. Tell her you have to finish your 3-way with Melanie and RBE first, then you'll be right over
E. Other?

[vaughnleland]

If i were Cliff...
A. Agree to see Sue Ellen...she may be old, but a sure thing is a sure thing


next

You are Jeremy Wendell..you get a call from Miss Ellie saying that J.R. is trying to set him up for a fall..Ellie never liked you but she cant se you go down by underhanded methods..she wants to meet for lunch and fill you in.. do you..

a) Hang up..its probably CLiff using a fake voice
b) meet and take her advice..Ellie never lies.
c) meet but realize a ewing is a ewing
d) meet and try to seduce her

[Vote4Cliff]

b) meet and take her advice..Ellie never lies.

You are JR Ewing, and while meeting some clients for business you pass a restaurant where you spy thru the window your mama having lunch with none other than Jeremy Wendell. Do you...

A. Immediately barge into the restaurant and demand to know what is going on.
B. Sneak into the restaurant, quietly get seated at a nearby table, and hold up your menu while you try and listen in on the conversation.
C. Call Harry McSween and have your mama tailed.
D. Wait until dinnertime at Southfork, and casually bring up Jeremey Wendell to see Miss Ellie's reaction.
E. Assume your mama is stabbing you in the back; call up Harve Smithfield to have her declared senile and get her locked up in an old folks home.
F. Other?