I love Holy Moly. Here is what they say:

The long-planned Dallas movie (an oil slick waiting to happen) has hit more troubles as Page Six are reporting that John Travolta has been sacked from the role as JR Ewing. It seems that the producers have shown the film script to various focus groups who decided that the script was lacking laughs, so poor old John was given the cowboy boot, meaning he will be forced to perform his gurning ‘glistening ham’ face somewhere else.



The plan now is to remake the series as a comedy with Ben Stiller as the petroleum Lothario, which sounds about as much fun as immersing yourself in black gold and running through a burning ranch.

It seems an odd decision to get rid of Travolta as the original series was camp as tits anyway, so maybe they should go the whole Boss Hog and get John Waters in with his light-handed directorial touch. Yes, it’d still be awful, but at least knowingly so.

It’s a shame that big, butch Travolta won’t be around to bring the whole concept even further into the gutter. I was looking forward to the scene where Bobby wakes up in the showers and realises that it was all a dream. Then realises that JR is standing beside him and murmuring, "Weeeell, Good morning to you, damp little brother!"