Sue Ellen vs. Jesus

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-20-2005, 06:40 PM

Was Sue Ellen Southfork's version of Jesus....?

And if they got into a fight, what would happen?

**nikki** · 09-20-2005, 06:49 PM

Who's Jesus?

**eciton burchelli** · 09-20-2005, 10:47 PM

Sue Ellen would beat the tar out of Jesus and then whip his father's butt in the next round.

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-20-2005, 11:20 PM

So far, Sue Ellen is winning in the "better than" sweepstakes over Jesus...

**James from London** · 09-20-2005, 11:32 PM

I very much enjoyed Martin Scorsese's THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST, which caused outrage amongst Christian fundamentalists for daring to suggest Christ suffered from the same human weaknesses as the rest of us. Were Marty to construct a similarly themed movie entitled THE LAST TEMPTATION OF SUE ELLEN, would it evoke a similar wrath on this here forum? I think it might.

**eciton burchelli** · 09-20-2005, 11:59 PM

Good idea- this could be the poster--

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-21-2005, 12:33 AM

I love it!

And the DaVinci code could just turn out to be the proof of the vodka!

**Kate Ewing** · 09-21-2005, 12:59 AM

Is it me, or are there a lot of really wierd threads lately....must be something in the water.

**leah970** · 09-21-2005, 01:00 AM

Too funny! The photo of Sue Ellen in the last supper is a work of art!

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-21-2005, 01:11 AM

JR: "Now, Sue Ellen--- you know how jealous you get 'round December, with all us celebratin' the Christ-child and such... But lookit, your birthday is right around the corner.... Hell, September aint that far off, Sugar, and then it'll be you and you alone we'll be toastin' and singin' about... What's that ol' Jesus got on you anyhow...? Now, come on..."

**Garrison** · 09-21-2005, 01:20 AM

Marky, you have again presented youre genius to the forum, and I applaued you.

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-21-2005, 02:15 AM

Dusty: "Oooooo, Daddy.... Just look at Sue Ellen ride.... She's a lot hotter'n Jesus!"

Clayton: "Yep--- I would say, 'Jesus, she's sexy', but I'm afraid that would just be insulting that pretty lady...!"

**Garrison** · 09-21-2005, 02:19 AM

Originally Posted by Marky

Dusty: "Oooooo, Daddy.... Just look at Sue Ellen ride.... She's a lot hotter'n Jesus!"

Clayton: "Yep--- I would say, 'Jesus, she's sexy', but I'm afraid that would just be insulting that pretty lady...!"

Marky, you ever think about doing a Dallas caption thread? The Dynasty one is great.

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-21-2005, 02:20 AM

Peter Richards: "I had my choice between Jesus and Sue Ellen... And despite my obviously ambiguous sexuality, I chose Sue Ellen! She's so gorgeous and sexy it made me forget about God and boys altogether!... I'm not sure who this red-head is--- except the one between my legs and, Lord, it's pointing right at Sue Ellen...!"

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-21-2005, 02:21 AM

Originally Posted by Garrison A Ewing

Marky, you ever think about doing a Dallas caption thread? The Dynasty one is great.

"Dynasty"s just easier to make fun of across the board.

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-21-2005, 02:32 AM

JR: "Well--- back again, are ya, Jesus? You come lookin' for my soul, didja? Well, you can just turn your tail around and run right on home 'cause there ain't nobody good enough to take me away from Sue Ellen... No sir... Not for long... Oh, I've had my little girlfriends, my little extra-curricular activites, sure 'nuff, but when it comes down to really cheatin'---- like, with my heart and sh*t?... No way!!... There's only one little girl for this ol' J.R., and her name sure as hell ain't 'Jesus'... So why dont you get outta here--- go back to yer temple or yer chanting or yer congregation, or where ever it is you saints go, 'cause Sue Ellen is mine and I'm afraid there just ain't no room for you....!"

**SnarkyOracle!** · 09-21-2005, 02:41 AM

Pamela: "I'm sorry, Jesus, but my family worships Sue Ellen... And puts no false gods before her..."

Cliff: "Yeah, 'no false gods'--- and that means you, Jesus... After all, a Nazarene is a Nazarene is a Nazarene....!"

Katherine: "I could run him down for you, Pam..."

Rebecca: "I could crash my jet into him, Pam..."

Pamela: "No, that wont be necessary... Please, Jesus, wont you just leave? You can see you're upsetting my family--- and it took so long to find them... Only with Sue Ellen's love and blessings, did I manage to at all..!"