50 Ways to Annoy DYNASTY Fans

[Jay!]

1. Tell them everyone should bow down and worship Joan Collins.
2. Ask if DYNASTY was trying to copy DALLAS.
3. Swap their copy of THE STUD dvd with THE BITCH.
4. Ask if they know of any other cool shows like DYNASTY. (Don’t mention THE COLBYS!)
5. If they're watching DYNASTY, tell them it looks like some mainstream 80s soap. Doesn't matter which. It could even be FALCON CREST.
6. Say it's all a ripoff of DALLAS anyway.
7. Ask if they've given their souls to Joan Collins yet.
8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening.
9. Record over their DYNASTY tape with SANTA BARBERA and see if they ever notice the difference.

10. Refuse to accept Bliss as a real name.
11. Ask how who was the better __________ . (Fill in the blank with your favorite sibling.)
12. Use the phrase "wooden acting" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with.
13. If they're watching DYNASTY, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now William Shatner, Susan Sullivan, and Adam West, those guys have talent!"
14. Say "Where the hell is Moldavia?"
15. Point out how stupid KNOTS LANDING is. If they agree, tell them the only thing more stupid is DYNASTY II: THE COLBYS.
16. Tell them it all looks the same.
17. Admit that Joan Collins was a washout drag queen who has already peaked (in EVERY way possible).
18. If they say they love DYNASTY, ask them whatever happened to Helmut Berger.
19. Tell them you like DYNASTY, like PASSIONS.
20. Point out that Diahann Carroll can't sing.
21. Insist that seasons 3-8 would have been better if they David Paulsen produced them.
22. Ask if Caress is a bar of soap.
23. Divert their DVD shipments to the local Jewish community center.
24. Write "JR Loves You" on their Past Imperfect paperback.
25. Point out that just about every primetime soap has an underground with fans who have integrity, so DYNASTY really isn't that unique.
26. Post under their nickname on a DALLAS board and say JR ****s all over Alexis.
27. Take out the DYNASTY disc and put in 50 Cent.
28. Give them a Joan Collins mullet haircut while they sleep.
29. Pronounce "Cecil" and “Amanda” correctly.
30. “Did you even HAVE a life? Like, ever?”
31. Ask them how many children, pets, imaginary friends they’ve named after Carringtons.
32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at the end of an episode.
33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds.
34. Ask if Linda Evans was on the same flight as John Denver.
35. Tell them MELROSE PLACE brought camp back to life in the 90s.
36. Talk in a fake British accent.
37. Tell Emma Samms she's fat.
38. Call John Forsythe George Peppard.
39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling.
40. Remind them that DYNASTY is a ripoff of DALLAS. Then accuse the Carringtons as being lower than the Barnes clan in evolution.
41. Use the phrase "oh, my God!" at least three times when talking about Sable.
42. If it's a guy, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it.
43. Be impressed with how much Spelling’s childrens’ acting has improved over the past ten years.
44. Say you love Joan Collins’ debut, Genesis as Eve.
45. Notice that Joan Collins hasn't moved her mouth in 30 years of plastic surgery.
46. Refer to DYNASTY as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff."
47. Ask them if DYNASTY is so good, how come it never won any awards.
48. Pine for the good old days when Wednesday was “must see TV”.
49. Tell them you used to like DYNASTY, but grew out of it when you started watching more intellectual stuff like TELETUBBIES.
50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy DYNASTY Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke.

[Mimi]

28. Give them a Joan Collins mullet haircut while they sleep.

I just hate it when that happens...

Great list, Jay! You know, another sure way to annoy a Dynasty fan is to mix up the characters of Dynasty and Dallas. The stupid Danish tv executives got the brilliant idea of giving Dynasty the title "Dollars" in Danish, and as a result, people around here cannot tell the two shows from apart. I've actually had this conversation more than once in my life:

Mimi : "So, do you remember Dynasty?"

Aquaintance of Mimi: "Ah, yes, Dynasty, that was some show, huh? Yeah, I still remember Sue Ellen and Alexis when they fought in that swimming pool [sic]. That was great!"

[Jay!]

Mimi, I was just showing how stupid some threads are. I like oranges, do you apples, maybe we can go on and on and on about them, without making a point.

[Mimi]

Mimi, I was just showing how stupid some threads are. I like oranges, do you apples, maybe we can go on and on and on about them, without making a point.

*Sigh*, Sure, fine, whatever. Forget I replied then.

[willie oleson]

Mimi, I was just showing how stupid some threads are. I like oranges, do you apples, maybe we can go on and on and on about them, without making a point.

But can't you see that the "Dallas rip-off" topic was only posted here to stir things up, especially after that very same topic almost got out of hand on the Dallas board.
All we got was the same people having the same arguments, so mission accomplished I think.

[juppiter]

Yeah, you're really cool for making fun of Dynasty.... How much time did you spend writing this little masterpiece?

[SnarkyOracle!]

Yeah, you're really cool for making fun of Dynasty.... How much time did you spend writing this little masterpiece?

Since he's a well-known "Dynasty" fan, that seems seems a silly question--- but it also proves his point: too many "Dynasty" fans have no sense of humor.

[Steph]

#50 is my favorite. Who better to make fun of the show than a true fan?

[Jay!]

Yeah, you're really cool for making fun of Dynasty.... How much time did you spend writing this little masterpiece?

"Are we o-fended?" to quote a certain gray rabbit.

The point is some of these posts go on and on. Some are so childishly constructed. There is no debating. There are no convictions. Just "my daddy can beat your daddy" arguments. There are no resolutions. And it's worse when you have two or three threads going on the same topic. Or when your best defense is posting a 20-30 year old picture!!!

Come on, stop arguing. Dallas vs. Dynasty is going to go on forever. You're not going to convince a die-hard Dallas fan that Dynasty is NOT a ripoff. You're not going to convince a die-hard Dynasty fan that it IS a ripoff. Who cares? No one is going to win such an argument. This isn't salvation you're trying to preach to them.

Miss Ellie (both of them) are dead. Let her or them rest in peace.

Move past the silly arguments.

If anyone did get offended, you proved #50.

Some arguments are endess. Just laugh it off and move on.

As they sing in the theme song, "just repeat to yourself it's just a show, I should really just relax".



To show I don't care anymore, I can always do 50 ways to annoy Dallas viewers!

[Jay!]

*Sigh*, Sure, fine, whatever. Forget I replied then.

I'm confused. If I offended you, too, Mimi, I'm sorry.

[Christine]

Yeah, I think it's sort of boring that so many threads end up going over 4 pages and more and then people always start fighting.
It's funny, how come Dynasty fans can't get along? The atmosphare on the Dallas and the Knots forum is totally different than it is here.
It's sort of interesting though, it seems the boards somehow reflect the shows. People argue on the Dallas forum too but it hardly ever gets so insulting, the Dynasty forum reminds me of the Kryslte vs. Alexis arguments. They clearly hated each other never got along and people can't get along here either.
The Knots Landing forum has mostly been the nicey nice board, just like the show.

[SnarkyOracle!]

It seems to stem from that same old trend of (most) hard-core "Dynasty" fans being unable to deal with ANY criticism of the show (to which, feeling cornered, they'll often respond that they CAN but they "know the difference between criticism-from-love and ciriticism-from-hate".... which is totally bogus, as they seem to deal with no criticism at all).

On the "Dallas" side, the fans are much more realistic (as has been pointed out before) about that show's errors-- some of which were jaw-dropping... The closest thing to "Dynasty"-style sick fawning that you will find on the "Dallas" page (and, boy, do you!) are the truly deluded Sue Ellen fans who actually think she's a perfectly-decent person, whose faults and misbehavior can either be blamed all on JR's nasty mistreatment of her or, just as bad, they dont acknowledge how badly she treats other people at all!!

Now that is REALLY ill... And while I would never deny Sue Ellen's importance as a dramatic character (you couldn't do "Dallas" without her!) the kind of 'let's-play-relate' fandom that some of the female posters feel towards her character, and the total denial they're in about her --- ahemm! --'flaws', reminds me somewhat of the self-professed "real"DYNASTY fans' attitudes.

To me, while comparison between the two shows is an interesting intellectual exercise, my problem with "Dynasty" has NEVER been that I somehow thought it was a "rip-off" of "Dallas" and I've never been inclined to accuse it of such (even if it, like many other shows, was inspired by it)... There was room for both shows, and both programs had a different flavor.

If "Dynasty" had an enemy, it was largely the same parties that put it on the map, and then quickly cannibalized their own child.

[Garrison]

(you couldn't do "Dallas" without her!)

Debbie did.

I agree on so many points you make, Marky. All those Sue Ellen fans are truley missing the point of her character. And all the Dallas vs. Dynasty arguements are futile.

[SnarkyOracle!]

Debbie did.

I agree on so many points you make, Marky.

Shhhhhh!!! Keep your head down!!

[Jason!]

Bump. To be shared with another generation.

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Good list Jay! Especially #32.. But...

The most offensive thing you can do is to actually be my (60 year old) mother and constantly refer to Dynasty as "crap" full of old hags and 30´s C-list celebrities post extensive plastic surgery..

(She does that every time I mention the show... It´s just as annoying each time, especially since her view is based upon watching three episodes from season 3..)

I´m forced to rest my case every time..

[LexDex]

I am a huge DYNASTY fan and I can laugh about many jokes and have a great sense of humour but I dont find EVERYTHING funny! It`s always the same people who make fun of DYNASTY fans and Joan & Linda & plastic surgery and so on! They have their admirers and that is why they post more of that stuff. Sometimes I think are they REAL fans or just here to p*** someone off?

[alex]

Haha, thats hilarious Jason.

There's no point enjoying something if you can't step back and laugh at it. Reading alot of threads were we pigeonhole Dynasty, take jabs at it makes me enjoy the actual show more I find.

[Jason!]

Exactly Alex. Glad you liked it. Now Marky should bump his post on the mental wellness of Dynasy fans. Now, that was a classic!

[SnarkyOracle!]

Exactly Alex. Glad you liked it. Now Marky should bump his post on the mental wellness of Dynasy fans. Now, that was a classic!

You'll have to link it, Jay, as I think it was closed for the expected fighting.

Being critical of DALLAS rarely produces the same rage amongst the fans, oddly.