J.R and Sue Ellen: The parents from hell!

[Double A]

Hi there people. Thanks for the responses to my first post. It was great to get the feedback (even if I didn't agree with all of it!! Ha,Ha!! Just kidding.)

O.K. how about this one:-

Now I had read and heard a lot (esp from Hagman and Gray)that even though JR and Sue Ellen had many other failings, they were still good parents to their only child John Ross. Well, I have to say I totally disagree.
Watching JR and Sue Ellen with John Ross makes me squirm! They are the most pathetic excuses for parents that one could ever imagine!
I often laugh when I see JR and Sue Ellen at one of their many court battles for custody of John Ross. How could the Judge make a decision for either one of them? What the judge should have done is put John Ross with a foster family!
Sue Ellen was a self involved alcoholic during many of these custody trials and JR, well he claims that John Ross is the most important thing in his life; but we all know the Ewing Oil has, and always will come first.
Gee, an unstable alcoholic or a power hungry titan, who spends no time at home! Let's not even get started on the extra marital affairs. I know who I'd choose!!!! NOT!
Obviously, there's alot more to discuss here - but, tell me that I am not the only one who feels this way!

Signing Off,

Double A

[SueEllen35]

Double A, I must say that neither J.R. or Sue Ellen would have been good parents at the beginning of John Ross's life. J.R. was too self-absorbed in his wheelin's and dealin's with Ewing Oil and trying to manipulate and ruin other folk's lives. Sue Ellen was just too drunk or in a zombie state to fully care for John Ross. She was also too busy trying to find love with every man she met. I think it would have worked with Dusty. She loved him very much and was willing to give up J.R. The Farlow's were just as rich as the Ewings, so it wasn't money really. But, as we all know, Sue Ellen ended up coming back to J.R. I guess if Dusty didn't get married who knows how it all may have turned out.

But when Sue Ellen finally snapped out of her depression and started to show her love for John Ross, I started to like her. Sure J.R. showed love for John Ross, but he was too busy at the office ruining other people's lives and gaining control of his precious Ewing Oil. Sue Ellen was home more and trying to stay away from booze. She had her son and that's all that mattered (well at least for a little while!). J.R. spent more time away from John Ross and that was hard on John Ross if you ask me. As long as Sue Ellen stayed away from booze she was alright. I agree with you though, J.R. does love Ewing Oil more than anything else in the world. It's too bad his love for power was greater than his love for a human being.

I'll never forget that scene with J.R. holding up John Ross once he found out that John Ross was his. That was major love and acceptance there! I also remember when Sue Ellen had Pammy take John Ross away from Southfork. Yep, that was wrong and also right. J.R. may of had an edge on Sue Ellen (abandonment) but I'm sure in the end, the judge would have given full custody to Sue Ellen. They both loved John Ross, but just had a hard time dealing with it.

Once Sue Ellen and J.R. got back together again, she started drinking and jumping in the sack again. J.R. went right back to being a womanizer and hungry for full control of Ewing Oil. So, their relationship was right back to where it was before. But, when you look at Sue Ellen's and J.R.'s needs, they both neglected John Ross.

- I think Sue Ellen started to get her act together (with the tapes she made for John Ross to hear at night when he went to bed). Also, when Sue Ellen became a stronger person. She could do things on her own. Using her wit and strength to get rid of Mandy. She stopped drinking and started to work out her problems.

- When J.R. took the shot that was meant for John Ross (Calhoun kidnapping). John Ross knew that J.R. loved him unconditionally. Small things happened between J.R. and John Ross like the long cattle run with the boys, letting John Ross know about that bully.

- When Sue Ellen let John Ross live at Southfork as oppposed to moving him in with her when she finally left Southfork. That was admirable of her. She knew what was best for John Ross.

So, both Sue Ellen and J.R. showed how much they could be good parents to John Ross. So, who was the better parent, I think Sue Ellen was in the end. J.R. was a good father to John Ross, but in the final outcome, John Ross ended up being with his mother. He realized how what a scoundral that J.R. is. John Ross made up his own mind. J.R. spent all those years fighting over custody of John Ross and tried so long to keep John Ross from Sue Ellen. But in the end, John Ross chose Sue Ellen over J.R. Sad really, but it's ironic how it ended that way.

[Sanoahwolf]

Yeah I'm with SueEllen35 on this one. I don't exactly classify them as parents from hell. That's a bit to harsh for me. True they both made monsterous mistakes. Sue Ellen drinking while she was pregnant, driving while she was under the influence, etc...etc...etc. J.R. faired no better. He was trying to make it look like Sue Ellen was still drinking when in fact she stoped after her accident when she fled the sanitarium causing her to go into pre-mature labor. She felt a tremendous guilt over what she had done.

Instead of J.R. staying home to care for his new born son and take care of his wife, he was out chasing skirts again.

It was pretty painful to watch what enfolded after John Ross was born. Two parents unable to love their child. Why does any child have to suffer because of it's lackadasical parents? It's unfortunate and pathetic that adults still put themselves ahead of their children.

It was refreshing to see at least one of the parents make a move to love and accept her son. It was good to see J.R. come to light and yes I agree that scene with John Ross was touching. That old addage says we learn from our mistakes. Has J.R. learned? The jury is still out but he is not a parent from hell.

[Sarah]

Disagree totally. JR and Sue Ellen loved John Ross more than anything else in life. Have you been watching Dallas????

[SueEllen35]

Actually, Sarah B, I have! I remember all the times Sue Ellen and J.R. struggled through their terrible marriage to gain some kind of relationship with John Ross. There was so much turbulence in the beginning and really throughout most of the series as John Ross grew up. They were good parents when they had time for him. But remember all those times when they both were having problems of their own, neglect was there.

[Jessie]

I think JR and Sue Ellen made alot of mistakes. I personally think Sue Ellen was the better parent because she really tried to be there for John Ross. She even gave him to JR because she knew that is what John Ross wanted. JR loved John Ross but sometimes Ewing Oil was more important. He wanted John Ross at the Ranch but he wanted Miss Ellie to care for him. Don't get me wrong both parents loved there child but their marriage problems always hurt their relationship with their son.

[chance]

Well, they were far from good parents, I know that much. I don't know their nanny spent more time with John Ross then both of his parents combined. All of the court battles which took him back and forth between South Fork and where ever Sue Ellen was the rest of the time. I know kids of divorce parents offen spend time with both parents but the fighting that went on over him couldn't have been good. I think that JR was a worse parent than Sue Ellen. The only reason that Jr wanted anything to do with John Ross was so that he could follow in his fathers foot steps running Ewing Oil.

[heirmarrell]

They were a hell alot better than Pam, who split and ran off like a Mummy when she got burned in the accident.

[Ewings]

I agree, Pam had to be the worst parent on the entire show. JR and Sue Ellen may had not have been the best, but they were by no means the parents from hell. They both loved John Ross more than anything else in the world, and even though they may not have been there very much, they did what was best for their son.

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Power is nothing without control

[DaphneD]

Sue Ellen was a wonderful mother. She was always trying to think of John Ross first. For example, when she divorced JR but stayed on Southfork to raise her son. Or when she asked John Ross for his opinion on Don and if she should go away with him or not. As for JR, he was a great father, or as Sue Ellen once put it after she heard JR reading John Ross a bedtime story and telling him about how he felt about his mommy "You're a wonderful father, it's just a shame you weren't a better husband."

[MsTexas73]

I agree with SueEllen35. Sue Ellen put John ross's need first, therefore making her the better parent. Although both she and JR loved him.

[pammy_ewing]

sue ellen she made more time for john ross ..

[Dallasfan8304]

I think JR and Sue Ellen loved John Ross very much but JR's obsession with Ewing Oil and pleasing his dead father, along with passing on his legacy to his son got in the way often. However, I do think that Sue Ellen was the better parent. Even though she did get drunk and fight with JR alot, she always made time for John Ross and sacrificed her happiness for him many times. She even let him stay on at Southfork when she left for England.

[Beth Harmon]

I always thought John Ross saw quite a bit more of Sue Ellen than he did J.R. anyway. :p

Forget the family business, how many nights where J.R. could have been at Southfork spending time with his son, tucking him in or reading him a bedtime story instead he chooses to spend it with his bimbos? :confused:

[Areasha]

I have to agree that J.R. and Sue Ellen were the not the most perfect parents but then again people are not perfect. They both made some horrible mistakes but I do believe that they did love John Ross. I do think that Sue Ellen was the better parent as well. As far as her drinking goes, she did try to deal with it as best as she could. Most of the time she would start drinking, after J.R. and Sue Ellen re-married, because of J.R.'s cheating or because he would accuse her of being an unfit mother which he did a lot because he knew that it really hurt her because she was so devoted to John Ross. This is exactly what happened in season 7 when J.R. accused Sue Ellen of being an unfit mother because she was out when John Ross had to be taken to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. She started drinking again because, 1) J.R. was so cruel to her and 2) because she really felt guilty for not being with John Ross when he had to be taken to the emergency room even though there was no way that she could have known about it.

Areasha