Custody Battles

[Frankie]

Do you think that if today there was a custody battle over John Ross, do you think that Sue Ellen would win??

I really don't know what would happen, lol. What do y'all think?

[JW]

They probably would through him in foster care or make Ellie his legal guardian.

[Pam Ewing]

Even with the strides fathers have made in becoming more integral parts of their children's lives, I think the courts today still favor mothers. Part of this is due to tradition, part due to the fact that women are more nurturing, part because not as many fathers as mothers want custody of their children. As a society, I think we would greatly benefit by encouraging fathers to have a bigger role in their children's upbringing, especially when the parents are divorced.

That said, really the only problem Sue Ellen had was her drinking problem. That is a common problem these days, but in Sue Ellen's case, other than the car accident before John Ross' birth, it did not cause her to mistreat or neglect John Ross in a way which the courts would perceive as neglect. So I think the courts would have awarded custody to SE.

Add to that the fact that JR worked long hours and took frequent business trips, and SE was the court's logical choice for custody. As for her having a lover, JR had dozens, and also a lover now is not such a scandal as it was then.

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JR: "Bobby, you're becoming a regular little detective"
Bobby: "Well, JR, that's a handy talent to have with a brother like you"

[SueEllen35]

I think that Sue Ellen would win custody of John Ross because basically she's the mother. Unfortunately, times have not changed in regards to the fathers being as good providers/influences for their children, but a mother's care is still considered the most important and most critical in child rearing. J.R. would make a horrible father in the fact that he spent more time making Ewing Oil the biggest independent oil company in the state of Texas rather than spend quality time with his only son. If it wasn't for that, he would have had just as good a chance as becoming full custodian of John Ross. Even though he was vile and evil and he didn't make a friend in the world (bad influence on on John Ross by the way!) he showed love towards John Ross and was a good father towards him. Miss Ellie was right in telling J.R. that when he and Sue Ellen first split up John Ross was better off with his mother as opposed to being raised by a bunch of nurses and nannies. A child needs nurturing and someone to be there for self-assurance and J.R. would be too self-involved with Ewing Oil. Sue Ellen's only down fall was her drinking problem. She was a good mother and very nurturing and spent quality time with John Ross. John Ross came first to Sue Ellen. Ewing Oil came first to J.R. But, if J.R. were more like Bobbie, it would have been more of a toss up, but still custody would have fallen on Sue Ellen. I t think if she was an unfit mother even though she did drink, she was getting help at the time and the court knew that. You don't hear too many cases where the father gets full-custody. I've only met a few women in my lifetime that were unfit to provide custodial care for their children. Sad but true. They also knew it. But women always get custody whenever there is divorce. It's just that a child should always be with its mother. Some may not agree, but it's true. If you asked me, today if I'd rather been brought up by my mother than my father. I would have picked my mother very easily. Not that I didn't love my father, it's just that mothers are more nurturing and naturally they provide that more than a father can. It's hard to explain.

LOL! http://www.soapchat.net/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Pam Ewing]

Very well said, Sue Ellen35. In the best of worlds, every child would be raised by a mother and a father. Unfortunately that's not always possible. I do feel that women are more nurturing, it's part of their nature.

However, we shouldn't sell fathers short. Many fathers would make better caregivers than their child's mother. I think that fathers today have become more caring and nurturing towards their children. It's just that society has traditionally raised men to be less nurturing. I disagree that a child should always be with its' mother.

As for Sue Ellen and JR, each loved John Ross equally, but JR did not have the time to dedicate to his son. JR would have let the boy be raised by nannies. John Ross was better off raised by a parent who could spend more time with him, i.e. Sue Ellen.

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JR: "Bobby, you're becoming a regular little detective"
Bobby: "Well, JR, that's a handy talent to have with a brother like you"

[Mike]

LOL!! When I first read the post, I didn't realize you meant to put the storyline into the present time! I thought you meant, presently, who would win! I was thinking, wait a minute, John Ross is in his 20s now... neither of them would win custody!! Oh well, at least my mistake made me laugh. I enjoyed reading the posts of those who read it correctly though!!

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"I'll see you at the office, partner." (Pam to JR in dream season Oil Baron's Ball)