Angel1234
02-28-2008, 11:17 AM
Hello please can you offer me some advice?
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, we do not live together. Over the past year he has become very cagey about his mobile phone - takes it everywhere with him including the bathroom. Last autumn, he left it in the lounge with me on a Saturday night and it buzzed and a strange girl's name came up. I didn't read the message but asked him who she was. He replied that he had met her in a nightclub about 6 months earlier and snogged her but nothing else had happened and she had persistently text him. I stupidly believed him and he agreed to delete her number. A week later he told me that he wanted some space and time apart from me. I was devastated but agreed in the hope he would come back to me. Our time apart lasted for 3 months and wasn't very successful as he saw me every weekend and called me virtually daily although apparently we were no longer "a couple". 10 days ago I decided I had had enough and went to his house to end the relationship, he cried and told me he wanted to be with me and that he loved me and we got back together. However he is now saying that he wants this to be a trial period and is very grumpy and angry with me all the time. On Sunday he left his mobile behind and went out for 10 minutes. In that time I read his phone and found graphic texts to the same girl from last year, there was also a folder of topless photos of her (dated from June and November last year) and most worryingly a history of calls and texts about mundane things like work etc so he is confiding in her as well... All texts were from the last week.
Why did he only tell me 10 days ago that he wanted to be with me when he seemed to be fully intent on continuing this relationship with her. I am not sure if this has yet become a sexual relationship with her, it hasn't been possible for the past 2 weeks as he broke his leg in a fight recently so he is house-bound. Is he continuing to text her/call her as a punishment to me because suddenly he is more reliant on me? Is it just a boredom thing as he is having to work from home for the next 6 weeks and is therefore alone rather than in the office? He is a natural flirt and often has texts from girls but has always been honest about them with me and they have always seemed harmless so I have always trusted him. Now I am double reading everything he says, it is making me stressed and ill and I have been signed off work for the past week, I have dropped a dress size in a week worrying.
I love him and cannot imagine my life without him and am utterly devastated that he can do this to me.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, we do not live together. Over the past year he has become very cagey about his mobile phone - takes it everywhere with him including the bathroom. Last autumn, he left it in the lounge with me on a Saturday night and it buzzed and a strange girl's name came up. I didn't read the message but asked him who she was. He replied that he had met her in a nightclub about 6 months earlier and snogged her but nothing else had happened and she had persistently text him. I stupidly believed him and he agreed to delete her number. A week later he told me that he wanted some space and time apart from me. I was devastated but agreed in the hope he would come back to me. Our time apart lasted for 3 months and wasn't very successful as he saw me every weekend and called me virtually daily although apparently we were no longer "a couple". 10 days ago I decided I had had enough and went to his house to end the relationship, he cried and told me he wanted to be with me and that he loved me and we got back together. However he is now saying that he wants this to be a trial period and is very grumpy and angry with me all the time. On Sunday he left his mobile behind and went out for 10 minutes. In that time I read his phone and found graphic texts to the same girl from last year, there was also a folder of topless photos of her (dated from June and November last year) and most worryingly a history of calls and texts about mundane things like work etc so he is confiding in her as well... All texts were from the last week.
Why did he only tell me 10 days ago that he wanted to be with me when he seemed to be fully intent on continuing this relationship with her. I am not sure if this has yet become a sexual relationship with her, it hasn't been possible for the past 2 weeks as he broke his leg in a fight recently so he is house-bound. Is he continuing to text her/call her as a punishment to me because suddenly he is more reliant on me? Is it just a boredom thing as he is having to work from home for the next 6 weeks and is therefore alone rather than in the office? He is a natural flirt and often has texts from girls but has always been honest about them with me and they have always seemed harmless so I have always trusted him. Now I am double reading everything he says, it is making me stressed and ill and I have been signed off work for the past week, I have dropped a dress size in a week worrying.
I love him and cannot imagine my life without him and am utterly devastated that he can do this to me.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.