They Didn't Say That

[Vote4Cliff]

Liz Craig: Bobby please don't wear that shirt in The Store when you come to visit Pam, I don't want people to think you bought it here.

Liz Adams:

[Kimmekap]

Liz Adams: Maybe if I dangle egg rolls over my "woo-woo" Cliff will feel like eating out tonight...

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Liz Adams: Maybe if I dangle egg rolls over my "woo-woo" Cliff will feel like eating out tonight...

Donna:

oh no you didn't - OMG I am choking on my coffee!!!!!!!!! you are so BAD!!!! lol lol lol

Donna: Ray, why don't we ever use the front door?

Vanessa Beaumont:

[one mighty hobble]

Vanessa - JR, I'm old enough to be your grandmother

Phyllis

[Vote4Cliff]

Phyllis: Sly gets more attention than I do! I am going to dye my hair blonde!

Merilee:

[Scarlett]

Marliee: (To Phylis) Oh Honey, you couldn't pull off being a blonde, it takes a special type of person to go from brunette to blonde, someone like me. I was originally a brunette you know.

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: If you do decide to dye your hair, Phyllis, just be sure to use a quality DDD product!

Miss Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: Our Dazzling Dallas Delight sales are through the roof. Now we can be ranchers, oil barons, and inventors.

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Say, does DDD have anything for men? I want to cover this grey hair I'm getting.

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: (On QVC) In three simple steps you can have the perfect hair that you've always dreamed off. Thanks to the new DDD products women can finally have it all, the world is yours.

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: I wonder if DDD has anything for men? I want Ray to cover up that grey hair on his head so it matches...everything else.

Ray:

[one mighty hobble]

Ray: Donna, you're such an uppity bitch!

Charlie

[Scarlett]

Ray: (On QVC) Now DDD has terrific products just for men, come back in a few minutes and I'll show you how to cover up your grey and make it go away for good - or at least until the stuff wears off.

Jeremy Wendell:

[Scarlett]

Charlie: Mama says I can model DDD's new skin care line. Now I have no reason to whine and complain.

Jeremy Wendell:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jeremy: I can attest to the wonderful DDD men's hair color line. I've gone from white hair to black hair...on my head, and even down there! ;)

Callie:

[Scarlett]

lol

Cally: I reckon this DDD thing will become the biggest thing to hit Haleyville.

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Are any of our DDD face creams able to make me look Callie's age again?

Clayton:

[Kimmekap]

Clayton: Ellie, tell me the truth. You & Jock are first cousins, right. Cause the Ewings are just one big ole' inbreed looking bunch!!!

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: Darn it all, Barnes Beauty is going down fast, my own mamma's about to leave me. Maybe if I swallow some pills, she'll come back out of guilt.

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: No, for the last time Jackie - tell Calvin Klien that I will NOT pose for their underwear ads, no matter what they offer me! I can't help it I'm super hot and everyone wants me!

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Oh Mark, why can't you kiss me the way Cliff does? He uses more tongue & then he puts his hand down my... Mark, where you going?

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

kimme you are sick - sick - SICK!!!!!!

[Scarlett]

Pam: Oh Mark, why can't you kiss me the way Cliff does? He uses more tongue & then he puts his hand down my... Mark, where you going?

JR:

J.R.: I feel so betrayed, my wife, my everything, had an affair with Jordan Lee.

Valene Ewing:

[Kimmekap]

Valene: Gary, Lucy is getting married AGAIN! My God, that midget gets "hitched" a lot...

Jeremy Wendell:

[one mighty hobble]

Jeremy: I just bought a nudist ranch, wanna come?


Mandy

[Kimmekap]

Mandy: JR, would you mind if I screwed Cliff tonight? I'm really not in the mood to have to do all the work...

Clayton:

[one mighty hobble]

Clayton: The Ben Stivers sure is sexy

Cliff

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff:The oil business isn't for me - I'm quitting to pursue my real love - ballet!

JR:

[kygirl]

JR:" I'm joining Wendell's nudist colony. Wanna come?"

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: I'd rather join a nudist colony with a carnival geek!

Clayton:

[Kimmekap]

Clayton: Miss Ellie, can I borrow $20 in one dollar bills... I'm a little short on money this week and the strippers hate when I pay them in nickles & dimes...

Jamie Ewing:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jamie: I can lend you some one dollar bills...I use them all the time to get Cliff in the mood. He sees money and gets all excited like Mr. Drysdale from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Sly:

[Kimmekap]

Sly: OH NO! Now JR wants me to spy on his momma to see if she is telling the truth about who really makes the chilli for the BBQ's...

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: I bet that bitch Ellie doesn't even make her own chili like she claims!

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: JR Ewing-Head Janitor for Ewing Oil. I'm sorry, which toilet is stopped up again. I'll be right up!

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: That's right, JR! Clean up my sh*t and this overflowed toilet right now! huh? what? oh, I was having that wonderful dream again!

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Well, I've done about every job at Ewing Oil & in Dallas... The only thing left for me to do is sell cocaine... Shit, I've done that too...

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: I am a happy, well adjusted woman with a great family and a loving husband!

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: I'm tired of being a ranch foreman... My dream has always been to star on a soap opera...

Dusty:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Dusty: "I had always hoped that Bobby would learn all about "Save a horse, ride a cowboy", but he's stuck on that damn Pam....wonder if I can get Kristin to push Pam into the Southfork Pool"

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam:" Screw the bathing suit- lets skinny dip!"

John Ross

[Mickey Fairgate]

John Ross: "Mommy, why does Daddy want me to learn all about Ewing Oil?? I'd rather own my own company...John Ross's Dress Barn....I can sell sack dresses like Grandma Farlow"

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: I'm not wearing any panties under my sack dress... Wanna see!!!

Donna:

[ncpryor56]

Donna: For God's sake NO Miss Ellie....no one wants to see that shriveled up gray rat hiding under that sack dress. Now go and put on your underwear.

Ray:

[kygirl]

Ray:" Speak for yourself, Donna"

Jock

[JazzMan]

Jock: "Group hug!"

Nicholas Pearce

[Kimmekap]

Nicholas: SUe Ellen, you are so hot & butch...

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam:" What do say, Lucy, lets hike on up to the hayloft and smoke one"

Teresa

[Mickey Fairgate]

Teresa: "I wish J.R. would learn to go to the potty, I get so tired of washing his filthy undies....I guess potty training is one thing Miss Ellie just couldn't get through to J.R."

J.R.:

[Kimmekap]

JR: It's not fair, why did Bobby have to be born the pretty one... It's not fair... Bobby, Bobby, Bobby

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: JR, don't forget to wipe, Teresa's been complaining again

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Cliff, let's open a chinese & licorice take out place together... I know it's always been your dream...

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

ha ha ha - you guys are on fire tonite - such funny stuff - I just got home a little bit ago out drinkning AGAIN so a bit tipsy and can't type fast to keep up :)

Jock: Damn the water is yellow again - whos been pissing int he pool?

[Kimmekap]

I'm getting tired myself. About to cut out for some sleep...

[one mighty hobble]

I've been trying over and over to karma you guys, you've got me cracking up.

Kit Mainwaring: Lucy, can you fix me up with Alan Beam?

Digger

[Mickey Fairgate]

Digger: "I finally turned to men for comfort and affection after seeing Ellie wearing those sack dresses....never did look the same to me....guess old Jock liked them though, he always had weird tastes"

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: Now I'm back in Dallas with a whiny daughter and a goofball son, I think I will fake my death and leave again!

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: JR, you make Amos Krebbs look like father & husband of the year compared to you...

Afton:

[JazzMan]

Sue Ellen: "No thanks...I don't drink".

Mandy

[Kimmekap]

Mandy: JR, I can't... I'm a virgin & I'm saving myself for marriage...

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Suellen, you took my virginity and then left me for JR - how could you?

Garry:

[Kimmekap]

Garry: Valene, hurry up honey... Momma is expecting us at Southfork for Sunday lunch right after church...

Donna:

[Scarlett]

I miss this thread.

Donna: Jenna Wade, get away from my husband!

Pammy:

[Kimmekap]

Pammy: Bobby, I'm so excited! I finally did it! I removed the stick out of Sue Ellen's ass...

Sam Culver:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pammy: Bobby, I want my own room like Suellen!

Julie Grey:

[Scarlett]

Sam Culver: Let's all cheat the government.

Julie Grey: J.R. how dare you ask me to go to bed with you, you are married!

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: I have a commercial audition in Dallas. My only line is "Where's the Beef!"... I know I will nail it!!!

Alan Beam:

[Scarlett]

Alan Beam: I am running for President in the 2008 race.

Lucy Ewing Cooper:

[Kimmekap]

Lucy: I'm in a hurry, I have choir practice at church tonight...

Valene:

[Scarlett]

Valene: J.R. will not win, I will not have my baby raised at Southfork to do manual labor. That's what the ranch hands are for!

Sue Ellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: Don't worry, I'll be the designated driver tonight... I never drink!

Jock:

[Scarlett]

Jock: Real power is something you wait to be handed for by someone else.

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Yup, my boy Bobby's a chip off the old block. He got his fashion sense from me!

JR:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Bobby, you need to stop these mindless affairs you've been having and be a good husband to Pamela.

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: I think I'll shave off my mustache!

Alan Beam:

[Scarlett]

Alan Beam: Kristin, you look so good in that short skirt. Forget Lucy, you're the girl for me.

Patricia Shepard:

[Vote4Cliff]

Patricia: I'm so proud of my girls! A slut and a drunk! I did a great job!

JR:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: I married the wrong sister, I want Kristin.

Mavis Anderson:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mavis: I married the wrong oil man, I want Jock!

Sly:

[Scarlett]

Sly: I love Bobby, but he won't look at me. Maybe if I sleep with J.R. Bobby will take notice.

Gary:

[Daphne]

Gary: A daughter? I wanted a son!

Charlie Wade

[one mighty hobble]

Charlie: Who's Brad Pitt?

Donna

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Sam Culver was hung like a horse... Ray is hung like a gnat...

Mark:

[Mr. Eugene]

Mark: I just got my pilot's license! Who wants to go for a spin?

Jory Taylor:

[JazzMan]

Jory Taylor: I just got my driver's license. Who wants to go for a spin?

Marilee:

[one mighty hobble]

Marilee: Damn, my air mattress pump is broken again!

Cliff

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Yum, this leftover fried rice is good for breakfast with milk poured over it!

Jack Ewing:

[Scarlett]

Jack Ewing: Jamie, go back to Santa Monica where you belong!

Carter McKay:

[Kimmekap]

Carter McKay: I've got "dun-lap disease". My belly dun lapped over my dick...

Afton:

[one mighty hobble]

Afton: Cliff, can I play with your wontons?

JR

[Kimmekap]

JR: Cally, hurry up or we'll be late for you prom...

Rebecca:

[one mighty hobble]

Rebecca: Cliff, if you embezzle from me again I'll fry your wontons!

Katherine

[Vote4Cliff]

OMG - spit out my iced tea reading that one! lol

Katherine: What the hell ever happened to my career as a news reporter??

Donna:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Dave, can you help me? Your daddy's diaper needs changing again...

Ray:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: No Bobby, I'm not gonna push you around on Banjo all day. I have work to do!

Bobby

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Pam, with Jenna framed for Naldo's murder, I can break up with her and you and I can get married again.

Harve Smithfield:

[Vote4Cliff]

Harve Smithfield: Dont you get wise with me JR! I'll kick your ass, boy!

Jeremy Wendell:

[Kimmekap]

Jeremy Wendell: I wonder if I can buy Ewing Oil on my senior citizen's discount?

Miss Ellie:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Miss Ellie: "Sue Ellen, thank you for buying me that book, 'Sex for people over 60', I really needed to know how to get Clayton's little engine going"

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayon: Damn it, Suellen! Why did you buy that book for Ellie? She won't leave me alone now!

JR:

[Scarlett]

Clayton: (Exhausted) That book Sue Ellen got you is amazing. You want to do it again?

Jock:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Sue Ellen, you really hurt me when you slept with that varmint Cliff Barnes, I've never cheated on you once and here you go sleeping with the town idiot.

Jock:

[Scarlett]

Vote4Cliff, you and I posted at the same time with different reactions from Clayton lol.

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jock: "The only way I would ever have had sex with Julie Grey, is if she just offered to go down on me, but I think she's not the type to just be satisfied with sucking on a guy, she wanted it all...guess J.R. is responsible for that"

Julie:

[Scarlett]

Julie: J.R. has ruined me for other men.

Phylis:

[Kimmekap]

Julie: Jock is crazy, wants me to go down on him. His pecker looks like a cold wet noodle...

Rebecca:

[Scarlett]

Rebecca: I hate Ellie, she stole my lover Jock Ewing right from under me.

Phylis:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Phyllis: "If I could do one thing, I'd dress up as a dominatrix, and go into Bobby's office with my whips and chains and crack the whip and shout...'Who's your mommy'...then I'd work him over good"

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Pam, let me show you this new move Phylliss taught me today at work. BEG BITCH!!!

Mandy Winger:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Mandy: "After talking to Sue Ellen, Lucy, Jenna, Donna, Pam, Afton, Katherine, Serena, Sly, Phyllis, Dora Mae, Cassie, and Marilee, I know everything about what J.R. likes sexually....each one of them specializes in one thing that turns J.R. on, so I just have to find my one thing."

J.R.:

[one mighty hobble]

JR: Ray and Gary are the best brothers a guy could have

Mickey

[Kimmekap]

Mickey: Ray, is Lucy worth sleeping with? Does she go down?

Aunt Lil-

[Mickey Fairgate]

Aunt Lil: "Michael, watch out for that little blonde Lucy, she'll get you into all kinds of trouble with sex, drugs and living life in the fast lane"

Lucy:

[one mighty hobble]

Lucy: My favorite movie is Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Those Oompa-Loompas are so sexy!

Valene

[JazzMan]

Valene: "I want your body,JR!"

Oswald:

[Kimmekap]

Oswald: Sue Ellen, do you want me to take you to your AA meeting today? We can stop for drinks on the way...

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Ellie, there's nothin between me and Julie Grey...except hot, passionate sex of course!

Bobby:

[mutt]

Bobby " theres nothing between me and Cliff other then HOT PASSIONATE SEX of course "



Claude Brown "

[Kimmekap]

Claude Brown: No JR, I'm not a porn producer. I'm here to take your money for the revolution. No JR, I don't know Jenna Jameson... I get asked this all the time, it must be the glasses....

Mitch Cooper:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mitch: Hey Lucy, is that Peter Richards seeing anyone? He's just my type!

Harry McSween:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Peter, what are you doing here? Harry sent you!!!

Katherine:

[Vote4Cliff]

Katherine: These are contact lenses, my eyes are really white like an albino.

Punk:

[one mighty hobble]

Katherine: I'd like to milk an 'old goat' at Southfork


Miss Ellie

[Scarlett]

Punk: Shoot, I lost the Oil Baron of the Year award again.

Miss Ellie: Bobby, I don't care if you and Pam go off to California, there is no need for a big emotional scene. Just get out and send me a postcard.

Pam:

[Mr. Eugene]

Pam: Bobby, I'm about to say the three words you've been waiting to hear: breast reduction tomorrow! *


Bobby



* I've been waiting for someone to leave me Pam in the "They didn't say that" thread. And be sure to check out how I end the series in the "How would YOU fix the last 3 seasons" thread......

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Mamma, Mamma, Mamma, J.R. stole my dessert!

Gary:

[one mighty hobble]

Gary - California? Are you serious? I'm not going anywhere with your skinny ass, Valene!

Sheriff Washburn

[Vote4Cliff]

Sheriff Washburn: Now, don't y'all fret none. I'll have some of my boys come over and take these dead bodies outta here and clean up all the blood and bullets.

Jenna Wade:

[JazzMan]

Jenna Wade: "I love you too, Naldo."

Cassie:

[Pamela Barnes]

Can we keep this a smut free zone please. Innuendo is fine but mentioning bodily fluids and paedophillia isn't.

Thanks :D

[one mighty hobble]

(Thank you, Pamela, you are absolutely correct)

Cassie: Just how long did you expect me to hold your table, Mr. Ewing? Mr. Barnes' money talks too, you know!

Billy Bob

[Vote4Cliff]

Billy Bob: Dagnabbit! I wish I had a more sophistocated name like Theodore or something!

Sly:

[Kimmekap]

Sly: JR, I filled the liquor cabinet back up & put some more condoms in your left hand drawer. Sorry they were out of the glow in the dark ones you like so much...

Afton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Afton: Cliff, your teddy bear is in the dryer.

Jock:

[Kimmekap]

Jock: Amanda may have been crazy but she had some real big hooters...

Rebecca:

[snuggletiger]

Rebecca: Eating Licorice is one of the reasons I left your father Clifford.

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Mama, at what age did you start getting all those wrinkles around your eyes? I'm considering plastic surgery before I start looking old...

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Pam, you must have went to the same awful plastic surgeon your mom used...

Jock:

[ncpryor56]

Jock: "I married Ellie for her money"

Ellie:

[snuggletiger]

Ellie: Ray I'd trade you in for Gary any day

Lucy:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Lucy: "I always wondered if Peter liked little boys, he seems to be much more interested in John Ross then in me"

John Ross:

[Kimmekap]

John Ross: Momma, grandma Shepard told me all about your slutty sister who screwed daddy... Can I have a grape?

Bobby:

[one mighty hobble]

Bobby: Sue Ellen, if you don't sign over Christopher to me then JR will be a very attractive widower!

Amos Krebbs

[Vote4Cliff]

Amos Krebbs: What the heck, Margaret? The baby has grey hair?

Leanne DelaVega:

[one mighty hobble]

Leanne: Goodbye Master... forever!

Mitch

[Vote4Cliff]

Mitch: Lucy I am going into plastic surgery, can I practice on your Aunt Pam?

Afton:

[Scarlett]

Mitch: Afton, if you weren't my sister, I'd slap you.

Lucy:

[Scarlett]

Afton: (8) Hit me baby one more time(8)

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: Ray, I'm through with you - I'm moving on to my other uncles JR & then Bobby.

Margaret Krebbs (Ray's mom):

[Scarlett]

Margaret Krebbs: Raymond, do you know if Miss Ellie is hiring new workers at Southfork?

Sue Ellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: Life's a bitch then you marry one of her sons...

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: Cliff, it wasn't me that liked licorice...it must have been one of Digger's other sluts!

Jamie:

[Kimmekap]

Jamie: Cliff, I bet you could get it up if JR were in this room with us loosing on an oil deal right now. At least someone would be getting screwed...

Jessica:

[ncpryor56]

Jessica: "I've come to get my family sword back."

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: Miss Ellie thinks I look like an older, taller Rhett Butler. And frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

Digger:

[Kimmekap]

Digger: I'm good for a few more drinks, Sue Ellen said she would be our designated driver tonight since she would be swinging by Cliff's place later.

Miss Ellie:

[mutt]

Miss Ellie " you know i always keep FIVE PENNIES in my purse "


Marilee

[Kimmekap]

Marilee: JR, Carter McKay is way better in bed & the boardroom than you are... Yes JR, I did say the boardroom...

Mickey Trotter:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mickey: I want to go back to Kansas! There's no place like home! There's no place like home!

Tommy McKay:

[mutt]

Tommy " Why the hell am i here in Dallas for I have no purpose "



Roger "

[Kimmekap]

Roger: Sheriff, it looked easy in the Acme "How to Kidnap" book I bought for $9.99 by Wiley E. Coyote. Just didn't have a section on how to kidnap a midget...

Peter:

[mutt]

Peter " you should see what i wear in the winter its even less then the speedo


Mr Eugene

[Kimmekap]

Mr. Eugene: Sally married me for my good looks and big pecker, I married her for her brains and honesty... Plus, she is only one who can work my electric wheel chair...

Mitch:

[Scarlett]

Mitch: How you doin'?

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mitch: Cliff, if you don't make an honest woman of Afton I will challenge you to a duel!

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: J.R. which tacky spotted shirt should I wear today?

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

(scarlett you & I are always in sync answering at the same time :))

Pam: Whichever one goes with your spotted underwear, honey.

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Great minds Vote4Cliff, Great minds. lol


Cliff: I wish Afton would buy me a spotted shirt, I bet I would look real spiffy.

Jamie Ewing Barnes:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jamie: I am leaving Dallas to start a new career as a dental assistant! I can demonstrate what healthy teeth & gums should look like!

Mandy:

[Scarlett]

Mandy: I love the way Cliff stretches his money, if I play my cards right, maybe he'll propose marriage.

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: What do you mean you want to borrow money from me so you can propose to that Winger Tramp, Cliff!

Teresa:

[Scarlett]

Teresa: Raoul, I bet you twenty American dollars that Sue Ellen will be passed out before cocktails.

Louise:

[Kimmekap]

Teresa: No hablo "poo-poo"... (Just for your Vote4Cliff)

Afton:

[Scarlett]

Afton: What do you mean Lucy is taking my spot at the club! I am a professional!

Louise:

[Vote4Cliff]

Louise: Christopher, if you don't stop your whining we'll send you to an orphanage! We'd send you back to your real parents but they are both dead!

Mark Graison:

[Kimmekap]

Mark: Why yes, my pornstachio has doubled for John Holmes's in a few of his pornos... But we don't give autographs!

April:

[Scarlett]

April: Maybe I should do a movie with Mark?

John Ross Ewing III:

[Kimmekap]

John Ross: Momma's passed out again... Come on Christopher, let's steal the grocery wagon & head into town for the three B's...

Donna:

[one mighty hobble]

Donna: Did you read my book? It's called "How to Bury your Husband and Bag a Cowboy Without Even Trying"


Pam

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Bobby, I am so very sorry I can't have your baby... So sorry, uh hey! Can we get a pony?

Wes Parmalee:

[Vote4Cliff]

Wes Parmalee: heh heh heh - I'm really Digger! I faked my own death so I could come back as "Jock" and try to trick Ellie into sleeping with me!

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Why didn't she call? We had a night of great lovemaking & now she's not calling... I really thought Sue Ellen liked me, I'm not waiting by this phone forever...

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: No, I will not read you a bedtime story, Cliff! You're a grown man!

Kristen Sheperd:

[JazzMan]

Kristen Sheperd: "OK...I'm a whore."

Kit Mainwaring

[Scarlett]

KRISTIN is not a whore. lol

Kit Mainwaring: Ray looks real good tonight in those jeans, maybe I'll stop by the bunk house for a little nightcap.

Grace:

[JazzMan]

Grace: Dack looks really good tonight...maybe I'll stop over wearing nothing but a night-cap.

Dora Mae:

[Kimmekap]

Dora Mae: No sir Mr. Barnes, we still have not put egg rolls on the menu. No sir, the Ewings don't own this resturant. No sir, I'm not on JR's payroll. No sir, I don't wish to hear AGAIN how Jock Ewing swindled your daddy. Can I just take your damn order???

Miss Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: Garrison, how dare you come here and try to take my daddy's land! Ray - get me the shot gun out of the closet!

Jack Ewing:

[Kimmekap]

Jack Ewing: Jamie, some guy named Mr. Furley called? Said you're late with the rent & something about Jack being my kind of man...

Afton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Dora Mae: No sir Mr. Barnes, we still have not put egg rolls on the menu. No sir, the Ewings don't own this resturant. No sir, I'm not on JR's payroll. No sir, I don't wish to hear AGAIN how Jock Ewing swindled your daddy. Can I just take your damn order???

OMG!! I can't stop laughing! I can totally picture this conversation taking place lol lol lol

Afton: And now for my next song...a selection from Insane Clown Posse

Aunt Lil:

[JazzMan]

Aunt Lil: Can't wait to hear that song from my favorite band the Insane Clown Posse.

Mickey:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mickey: Oh God, I can't stand to hear Afton's rendition of an Insane Clown Posse song, mom, please pull the plug and put me out of my misery!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Mickey: Ray, the doctor said I'm healing great & he can put the breast implants in next week for my transgender sexual reassignment surgery... Ray, what are you doing? Ray, stay away from that plug, Ray... BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!

Jock:

[Oil Baroness]

Jock: Who stole my plaid pants? JR, give them back! You can't work this look!

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: Daddy's crazy!!! Plaid pants, huh! They are so last year...

Vaughn Leland:

[Vote4Cliff]

Vaughn Leland: My boxer shorts are plaid, am I in style?

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Ya'll are all stupid... It's all about the polk-a-dots & big hair this year.

Angelica:

[Vote4Cliff]

Angelica: Polk-a-dots and big hair? What about hoods, capes and feathers?

Miss Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie- Plaid, polk-a-dots, big hair, hoods, caps & feathers, huh. Sounds like one deranged looking drag queen to me, must be what Gary will be performing in this weekend.

Lucy:

[JazzMan]

Lucy: "Plaid? I think I'm gonna be sick!".

Jeb Ames:

[Kimmekap]

Jeb Ames: Damn Willie Joe, I thought Julie's hair might break her fall...

Digger:

[ncpryor56]

Digger: "You'll should be watching for my new info-mercial selling my new CD featuring The Yellow Rose Of Texas."

Miss Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: Digger, do I really have to "buy" your CD? I think we can work something out in trade if you know what I mean... NO DIGGER, I'm not talking about booze!!!

Sue Ellen:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sue Ellen: "I once tried being a lesbian, but Valene Ewing is just as bad as J.R. Ewing, and I couldn't handle her anymore then I can handle J.R."

Valene:

[Kimmekap]

Valene: The lesbian experience with Sue Ellen was bad because she wouldn't let me wear the strap on...

Jock:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jock: "Digger and I could have been lovers easily, but I didn't like it when my penis smelled of bourbon after he'd gone down on me"

Digger:

[Kimmekap]

Digger: Hold still Jock & hold my whiskey, I got it!!! You're gonna love this baby! Ouch, I chipped my tooth on the bed post again!!!

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Sly, bring me a cup of hot cocoa with extra marshmallows.

Oswald Valentine:

[Kimmekap]

Oswald Valentine: I don't get it Sue Ellen, you don't want me? Are you a lesbian?

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: I don't get it Suellen, you don't want me? Are you a lesbian?

Jock:

[Scarlett]

Jock: Why is my granddaughter so evil?

Rebecca:

[Kimmekap]

Rebecca: Pam, you're daddy, Hutch was really good in bed & hung like a horse...

Jordan Lee:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jordan Lee: I trust you completely JR & I have absolutely no doubts whatsoever about this deal, count me in!

Merilee:

[Kimmekap]

Marilee: In loving memory of Seth, I will refrain from ever having a relationship with another man.... WOW! That was the longest minute of my life!!!

Jeremy Wendell:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jeremy: Just how slutty are you, Merilee? Would you even do ME??

Aunt Maggie:

[Mr. Eugene]

Aunt Maggie: Cliff, Pam, maybe my memory is going, but exactly when did your daddy grow a beard and become Jewish?


Dave Stratton

[Mickey Fairgate]

Dave Stratton: "Bobby, anytime you want to star in gay porn, let me know...
I'm sure Mark Graison would love to do a film with you"

Bobby:

[Oil Baroness]

Bobby: Pam, do polka dots make me look fat?

Pam:

[mutt]

Pam " OH look iam on top of a building I CAN FLY "

Hutch

[Scarlett]

Hutch: I hope Jock doesn't shoot me for paying Ray another late night visit.

Mickey Trotter:

[Kimmekap]

Mickey Trotter: Lucy, Sue Ellen is leaving... Think I'll catch a ride to Mc Donalds with her...

Afton:

[mutt]

AFTON " I sing like yoko ono "


Mrs Cooper

[Mickey Fairgate]

Mrs. Cooper: "I know in my heart Mitch is gay, it's because he had to grow up without a father,and he only had me and afton to teach him stuff....but he does look good as a drag queen"

Mitch:

[Scarlett]

Mitch: Maybe I'll go to ER after my stint on Dallas.

Casey Denault:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Casey Denault: "I'm really here as a spy of Sue Ellen's, to make sure John Ross doesn't get hurt by one of J.R.'s sluts"

John Ross:

[Oil Baroness]

John Ross: Hey Christopher, let's grab a porno from my daddy's stash and watch it with the porcelain dog.

Christopher:

[Vote4Cliff]

Christopher: Sorry John Ross, I can't - I have a ballet lesson this afternoon.

Lucy:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Lucy: "I hate those dresses Pam bought me at The Store...I'd rather have something from Target, Wal-Mart, or K-Mart"

Pam:

[Oil Baroness]

Pam: Screw you, Lucy. You already look like Wal-Mart with those rainbow suspenders you wore to Cliff's roller disco rally. Nice job stealing your look from Mork from Ork.

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen(drunk): Mork's from Ork? Wha? I didn't know Mork Graison wassn come from Ork, Pam...where is Ork? in New York?

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Cliff looks so groovy when he's angry.

Jenna Wade:

[Kimmekap]

Jenna Wade: Oh God, Gary Coleman could of done a better acting job with my character than Mrs. Elvis Presley aka Leather Face...

Julie Grey:

[Vote4Cliff]

Julie Grey: Cliff, you were so good in bed I'm giving you one of the red files. If you want to earn the blue, purple or yellow files, you'll have to try harder next time.

Suellen:

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: Cliff Barnes I love you.

Mandy Winger:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mandy Winger: Cliff Barnes I love you.

Miss Ellie:

[mutt]

Miss Ellie " well if you go into the pool a right after lunch. Kristen you will get a stomach ack and drown


Mavis Anderson

[Sugar&Slick]

I prefer J.R over Punk


Jeff Farraday

[Scarlett]

Jeff Faraday: Maybe I can sell my story to Oprah.

Donna Culver Krebbs:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Donna Culver Krebbs: "I can't wait for Ray to take the $10 million he inherited from Jock, and we move to Kentucky to open up Krebbs Krispy Chicken"

Ray:

[Scarlett]

Ray: Call me a halfbreed again, J.R., and Sue Ellen will be a very wealthy widow!

Scotty Demherst:

[mutt]

you may remember me,I Was known as Douglas Channing on Falcon Crest



Sheila Foley

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sheila Foley: "Bobby, I was hired by Pam to get rid of April so that Pam could make her long awaited return to Dallas...I never intended for April to die."

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: Attention all SoapChatters, I am not 58 years old or 62 years old as others have been saying, but I am in fact 48 years old.

J.R.

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R. "Even though Pam isn't Digger's real daughter, I still wouldn't do her simply because he did raise her as though she were his own....she's still Digger's Daughter to me"

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: JR, my wife's boobs are bigger than your wife's boobs...nah nah nah-nah-nah!

Jock:

[Daphne]

Jock: Ellie I am going back to Amanda...sorry I just can't stay away from her


Cliff

[mutt]

Dammit Ellie why cant i wear your swin suit in the pool Kit is wearing lucy's



Phyllis

[Mickey Fairgate]

Phyllis: "Sly, let's gather all the records and dirt that we can and bring down Ewing Oil...We'll run it together and call it--Phlly Oil"

Sly:

[Scarlett]

Sly: Mr. Cliff Barnes is the most dashing gentlemen I have ever met.

Louella:

[Kimmekap]

Louella: OH GOD! We're out of coffee & bourbon!!! This must be what hell is like!!!

Afton: