They Didn't Say That

[kygirl]

Kendall:" Look at me Mrs Krebbs! I tried that DDD and, and, and, MY FACE MELTED OFF!!!!"

Cliff

[Vote4Cliff]

guys - this DDD vs BB stuff is killing me :D :D :D

[one mighty hobble]

Cliff: I am so ashamed that Digger was my father

Jenna

[Daphne]

Jenna: Charlie is Bobby's daughter

Michelle Stevens

[Vote4Cliff]

Michelle Stevens: Cliff, I am so happy you tricked me into marriage. I love you!

Bobby:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Bobby: "I faked my death, so that I could be with Kit Mainwearing and Peter Richards....as long as Pam don't find out, then I can live happily ever after"

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: Principals Secret is forming a conglomerate with Dazzling Dallas Delights. Now both of my empires can be powerful. MUWAH-HA-HA.

Sue Ellen:

[Daphne]

Sue Ellen: Well, at least JR has never cheated on me...I have nothing to worry about

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Sue Ellen, what were you doing at Cliff Barnes' last night?

Sly Lovegren:

[Daphne]

Sly: Phyllis, if you ever have a question about the work I am doing for JR, just ask and I will gladly tell you all his business

Miss Ellie

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: Rebecca and her vultures have been lurking around the premises for DDD secrets. Ray - get me the shotgun out of the closet.

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: Look at the bags around my eyes, if anyone needs the DDD secret eye cream formula, its me!

Clayton:

[Scarlett]

Clayton: Rebecca, I know how desperate you are for the DDD cream, but you don't need to sleep with me. I would have given it to you because you're my friend. However, I must apply it to you myself - can't have you testing it out to find the formula you know.

John Ross.

[kygirl]

John Ross:"Oh Gawd!! I just saw Grandpa Clayton with his greasy hands ALL OVER Mrs Wentworth!! And she kept screaming 'YES! YES! GIVE ME MORE!!'The horror!"

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: John Ross, did you happen to notice if Rebecca's naked butt seemed more firm? I'd love to get my hands on the BB butt lifting miracle serum!

Clayton:

[Kimmekap]

Clayton: What the hell is wrong with this Ewing family? They never celebrate Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, birthdays... They're like some freakish cult...

Christopher:

[mutt]

Christopher Why wont Vote 4 Cliff remember to always leave a next person to talk about ?


Naldo

[kygirl]

Naldo:" I odviously don't belong here. Who has a name like Naldo in Dallas anyway? I'm moving to Dynasty!!"

Jackie

[Kimmekap]

Jackie: I'm going back to work at The Store, Cliff is just not devious & manipulating enough for me...

Pam;

[kygirl]

Pam:" I need to speak with Donna- the allegations against DDD are beginning to mount up"

Donna

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Damn, I should of let Bonnie keep Ray & the fur coat instead of punching her.

Jock:

[kygirl]

Jock:" Hey Miss Ellie, Lucy brought home more of her modelling costumes- maybe later we can play dress up again"

Cliff

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Hey Digger, let's go do some shots & pick up some cheap women... Pam said she would be our designated driver...

Ray:

[mutt]

Ray: Hi my name is Ray and i had sex with my horse"


Garrison "

[Kimmekap]

Garrison: Ellie, I left home cause you are an annoying bitch who whined all the time about Digger being a drunk forcing you to marry Jock's freaky ass to save this ranch. Which I've decided to take back over, you got 10 minutes to get off of. Have a nice day!

Donna:

[mutt]

Why cant we live inthe Big house RAY instead of the out house



DR Elby

[Vote4Cliff]

Dr. Elby: Suellen...JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!! Here's a free coupon to join the Center for Enlightened Awareness - now get out of my office.

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Dr Elby: I just hope JR keeps screwing Sue Ellen up some more, I am making a bundle off this deranged woman!!! I'll be able to by BMW for my wife & Flowbee haircutting system off TV for myself!!!

Cliff: I wish Pam would buy me a polk-a-dot shirt like the one she got Bobby. Like Paris says, It's Hot!!!

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Bobby, I thought I wanted a child, but now I'm bored. Can you take him back to wherever you got him?

Sam Culver:

[Kimmekap]

Sam Culver: Donna, I'm sorry things are just not going to work out with us. Your heart belongs to Ray & mine belongs to Jock...

Cliff

[mutt]

CLIFF :I wish i was more like my Daddy,



Afton

[kygirl]

Afton:" Why the hell did I move to Dallas? Neither JR nor Cliff are any good and my singing career is non-existent. I'm moving to LA!!"

Teresa

[mutt]

"What the **** JR do i look like Rosie the Robot..you can get your own skid marks out of your underwear "




Roul

[Kimmekap]

Raoul: Teresa, let's role play tonight. I am JR & you are Sue Ellen...

Digger:

[DuffMan]

Raoul: Miss Ellie I can no longer be your boy toy, I quit!

Digger: Miss Ellie, I'll be your boy toy!!!


Christopher:

[mutt]

Ill be John Ross's boy toy



Tom Owens

[Mr. Eugene]

Tom Owens: You know, as much as I hate that bastard Jock Ewing.... he does look damn fetchin' in those jeans.


Leo Wakefield

[Kimmekap]

Leo Wakefield: Cliff, I told you there is no more money left in Barnes Wentworth to support your egg roll & lo mein habit.

Charlie Wade:

[kygirl]

Charlie:" Well, you know, I think I'll go to Harvard and study to be a rocket scientist"

Kristen

[Kimmekap]

Kristin: Oh darn, I am so against people with mental disorders having a hand gun.

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Oh God!! Miss Ellie returned my harem outfit but didn't clean it- its-its-its-ITS StICKY!!!"

Miss Ellie

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: Damn this harem outfit of Sue Ellen's is riding up my ass & giving me a camel toe...

Jordan Lee:

[kygirl]

Jordan Lee:" Why doesn't Marilee borrow some of those outfits from Sue Elle?"

JR

Kimme, I had a hard time typing from laughing so hard!!

[Kimmekap]

JR: Wow Marilee, Sue Ellen has an outfit just like that but it doesn't make her tits look as big as your's or momma's...

Clayton:

[kygirl]

Clayton:" Miss Ellie- look what I got!!! I borrowed this Pirates outfit from Punk- wanna be my serving wench?"

Mavis

[Kimmekap]

Mavis: SSSSHHHUUUSSSHHHH, I don't want Punk to know I've been cheating on him with you. Tell Ray we're going shopping & Ellie will cover for us, bye Donna.

Angelica:

[Scarlett]

Angelica: I must know more of this Dazzling Dallas Delights and Barnes Beauty. They don't have this in my country.

Grace:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Grace: "I'd do Jack Ewing if I thought that Angelica wouldn't find out......fook that, I'm gonna do him even if it kills me"

Jack:

[Scarlett]

Jack: Why are they trying to stick me with Jenna?

Wally Hampton:

[mutt]

Wally Hampton: Excuse me i was trying to call Denver Carrington Not Ewing oil


Senator "Wild Bill" Orloff

[kygirl]

Wild Bill:" well now Bobby, I'm sure I could swing that vote in your favor IF you gat my wife some of that butt firming cream from Dazzling Dallas Delights!!"

Sue Ellen

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: Cliff we have to stop meeting like this...I can't tell you the secret.

Mandy Winger:

[kygirl]

Mandy:" Oh no!! I tried some of the DDD products and my face melted off!!"

Donna

[Oil Baroness]

Donna: When I tried DDD, my hair went all curly! And you guys thought it was a bad perm!

Pam:

[one mighty hobble]

Pam: JR, Bobby can never find out about our love affair


Gary

[Vote4Cliff]

Gary: Pam, Bobby can never find out about our love affair

Ray:

[Scarlett]

In keeping with the theme.

Ray: Miss Ellie, Jock can never know about our love affair.

Pam:

[Oil Baroness]

Pam: Miss Ellie, Bobby can never find out about our love affair.

Miss Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: All of you stop propositioning me! The answer is no!

J.R.:

[kygirl]

JR:" How come all you guy had love affairs and left me out? It's not FAIR I tell ya!!!"

Lesley Stewart

[Vote4Cliff]

Leslie Stewart: I tried the DDD shampoo and it turned my hair WHITE!! I look like I'm 90! I'm gonna sue!

Cliff:

[mutt]

Cliff : Ewing Ewing nope never heard of them at all


Willie Gust

[Kimmekap]

Willie Gust: Lucy start singing, it might calm Bear down. He really wants us to have our own show one day & we'll save a guest spot for you too...

Julie Grey:

[one mighty hobble]

Julie: I want a three hour cruise for my birthday

Amos Krebbs

[Kimmekap]

Amos Krebbs: Ray, you turned out to be a complete disappointment as a gay man...

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Amos Krebbs: No, I am not Amish! Will everyone stop asking me that!

Mandy Winger:

[Kimmekap]

Mandy: Tramp, who you calling a tramp?

Jock:

[Scarlett]

Jock: Miss Ellie, we need to give Southfork back to your brother Garrison, this is his land, it should have been left to him in the first place. We can move in with Digger.

Louella:

[mutt]

I have Slept with Bobby but that was only in my dreams



Mrs Shepard "

[Kimmekap]

Louella: JR, Sue Ellen is drunk dialing again & is asking which slut you are staying out with tonight? She slurred something about plans with Cliff...

Mrs. Shepard: Sue Ellen, let Kristin have a chance with JR if you get bored with him...

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Mrs. Shepard: Kristin, if I told you once I told you a thousand times, a lady does not shoot a gentleman, she hires someone to do it for her.

Bobby: Pam, why don't we go to California and see how Gary and Valene are doing?

Jimmy Monahan:

[one mighty hobble]

Jimmy: I wish Pam wasn't my cousin cause I'd sure like to .... oh wait, that's legal in Texas!!

Aunt Maggie

[Vote4Cliff]

Aunt Maggie: Clifford, what are you doing in there? Unlock the door! You're gonna go blind!

Punk Anderson:

[Scarlett]

Punk Anderson: Hey Mavis, you want to go to a swinger's party at Southfork?

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: Awwww....c'mon grandma. Why can't I stay for the swingers party? I'm a big girl now!

Clayton:

[Ewing6]

Clayton: Dusty I've told you a thousand times, you're not my kid and I don't give a damn what you do.


Phyllis:

[kygirl]

Phyllis:" Good morning Ewing Oil. I'm sorry, neither Mr Ewing is here at the moment- there seems to be yet another family crisis that they must attend to. No, I'm sorry, I have no idea when they will be back as I don't know how severe the family problem is"

Sly

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sly: "Ewing Oil...I'm sorry, J.R. is very busy with one of his sluts right now....which one???....I think it's Holly Harwood, do you want her #?"

J.R.:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Sue Ellen, I love a powerful woman. Your success at Dazzling Dallas Delights has inspired me to be completely committed to you. Heck, I even appreciate that Barnes Woman now.

Bobby:

[DuffMan]

J.R.: Sue Ellen, I love a powerful woman. Your success at Dazzling Dallas Delights has inspired me to be completely committed to you. Heck, I even appreciate that Barnes Woman now.

Bobby:

Bobby: What the hell is this Dazzling Dallas Delights everyone keeps talking about? I feel like I've been in a long, drawn out dream.


Holly Harwood:

[Scarlett]

Holly Harwood: So Bobby, why don't you and I meet up after hours, we can have all kinds of discussion about oil gushers, and refineries, and the war for control of Ewing Oil...

Sue Ellen:

[DuffMan]

Sue Ellen: JR I'm going to a DOA meeting you think you can keep your pants on and not screw half of Dallas while I'm gone?


Cliff:

[kygirl]

Cliff:" Wow- I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geiko"

Clayton

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff:" Wow- I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geiko"

AHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!

[Ewing6]

Cliff:" Wow- I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geiko"

Clayton

Now that's just funny, I don't care who ya are.


Clayton: JR wanna go cruise for some chicks?

Donna:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Ray, I don't want to hear it!!! JR is always right & you need to listen to him from now on...

Miss Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: I think we should start charging admission to the annual BBQ's...

Ray:

[Ewing6]

Ray: Ellie you don't think for one second someone would pay to come to this crappy BBQ do you??


Charlie Wade:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: I have to shovel horse shit on the ranch & Ewing bullshit in the house... My work is never done!!!

Charlie: Dear Diary, my mom is such a slut! I wish she were more of a lady like Miss Winger...

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: C'mon Ellie, Punk & Mavis...lets all go skinny dipping in the SF pool!

Angelica Nero:

[Kimmekap]

Angelica: Oh fudge, looks like I need a trim. My chest hair grows so fast!!!

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Would you like to go to dinner with me? How about Italian?

Jamie:

[Kimmekap]

Jamie: Cliff, I've had it with you! I thought Jack Tripper & Mr. Furley were idiots but at least they could get it up...

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

oh no you didn't!!!!!???????

[Kimmekap]

oh no you didn't!!!!!???????

I guess I should of used the "PC" term... At least they did not have erectile disfunction...

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: JR, I will use all my money & power to ruin Ewing Oil....unless you sleep with me.

Bobby:

[Mr. Eugene]

Bobby: Okay, Rebecca, I'll sleep with you.

Louella

[Kimmekap]

Louella: NO JR, I don't have every phone number is Texas memorized! Use the damn phone book, you jerk!!!

Digger:

[Vote4Cliff]

Digger (unshaven, unkempt and filthy drunk): Come over here Jamie, I'll take care of you if Clifford can't...gimme a kiss!

Punk Anderson:

[Kimmekap]

Punk Anderson: Mavis, I really don't feel like going to Jock & Ellie's tonight. Can't stand being around JR, they never discipline that mean little bastard...

Katherine:

[Vote4Cliff]

Katherine: I'm done wasting my time on Bobby, I now am obsessed with Clayton!

Lucy:

[Kimmekap]

Lucy: I love when K-Mart has a sale on clothes in my size, TODDLER!!!

Kristin:

[Vote4Cliff]

Kristen: I am done wasting my time on JR. I am now obsessed with Clayton!

Miss Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: Clayton, I llluuuvvvv when you put your hands on my... DAMN IT BOBBY, GET OUT!!! IT'S NOT TIME FOR YOUR FEEDING YET!!! Clayton, where were we???

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Mama, I want to go down to the kitchen for a glass of milk, will you come with me? Its dark

Clayton:

[Kimmekap]

Clayton: I'm never gonna get laid by Ellie... Bobby is still on the breast, JR is afraid of the dark, Gary shows up with his bi-polar mood swings & if I didn't know any better... Naw! Ray & Ellie don't have anything going on!!!!

Jenna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jenna: Ray, why do you want me to put on this ugly old sack dress to get you turned on? Wouldn't you prefer me in a sexy neglige?

Ray:

[Scarlett]

Ray: What can I say Jenna, the heart wants what it wants, now put that sack dress on or get off my property!

Casey Denault:

[Kimmekap]

Casey Denault: That Brad Pitt guy is never gonna get another job once this show goes off the air! He sucks!

CallY:

[Scarlett]

Cally: I wish I had Brad Pitt's career.

Angelica Nero:

[Kimmekap]

Angelica: Is it the green wire or red wire that makes it go boom... Damn, I can never remember...

Cliff:

[kygirl]

Cliff:"No ,Afton, the sack dress-what can I say? the heart wants what the heart wants. Now put on the sack dress or get the hell out!!"

Jock

[Kimmekap]

Jock: Bobby, tell Pam when she gives me a kiss- use just a little less tongue...

Digger:

[kygirl]

Digger:" well don't you know why Ellie nicknamed me Digger? It certainly had nothin' to do with oil"

Dr Danvers

[Scarlett]

Dr. Danvers: Sue Ellen, you're saying that J.R. beat you when you wouldn't wear the sack dress?

Louella:

[ncpryor56]

Louella: JR why do I have to wear a sack dress? You used to love sexy nighties.

Teresa:

[Kimmekap]

Teresa: Oh God Rauol, it was awful!!! I just caught JR in one of his momma's sack dresses with her pearls. HOLLLLDDD MMMEEEE!!!!

BobbY:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Pam, I told you what my dress size was, what do you mean they were out of it at The Store?

Wes Parmalee:

[kygirl]

Wes (as the real Jock):" God Ellie, at least while we were together you didn't wear a sack dress ALL the time- what has this Clayton done to you?"

Lucy

[Scarlett]

Lucy (Crying) : I'm too short for a sack dress.

Mitch:

[kygirl]

Mitch:" Let me try the sack dress on ,Lucy. It shows off my legs"

Digger

[one mighty hobble]

Digger: Drinking alcohol goes against everything I believe in


Rebecca

[Scarlett]

Rebecca: Shoot, Barnes Beauty sales are going down by the minute. Thanks to J.R.'s getting the cartel on his side, people are afraid of purchasing our product.

Miss Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: JR, Blake Carrington called. Said something about having you & Sue Ellen out to Denver for a visit. Oh, please bring Lucy's "special" friend Mitch to meet his son, Steven... Aren't most gay men named Steven?

Digger:

[Scarlett]

Digger: Punk Anderson stole from me!

Ellie Ewing Farlow:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: My pearls are missing...I suspect Mavis has taken them!

BD Calhoun:

[Scarlett]

lol

BD Calhoun: Okay Lenny, I'll shoot the first person who says that the Dream Season was a mistake.

Sly Lovegren:

[Girl Watching Basketball]

Sly: JR, I'm leaving. Barnes Beauty has offered me more money to be a salesperson.

The lady at the hospital in LA who Bobby and Pam questioned regarding Kristin's medical files:

[Scarlett]

Lady: No hablo inglés.

J.R.:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R.: "I'm going to Napa, CA, to talk with Angela Channing about starting Ewing Winery....but I'll have to watch Sue Ellen that she doesn't drink the profits"

Sue Ellen:

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: J.R. you worm, how dare you try painting me as an alcoholic! Now where are those darn Channings, I want to see their product!

Pam:

[DuffMan]

Sue Ellen: J.R. you worm, how dare you try painting me as an alcoholic! Now where are those darn Channings, I want to see their product!

Pam:



Pam: Momma I can't believe you cheated on every damn man you've been with. Slut.


Dave Culver:

[kygirl]

Dave:" Politicians are dishonest, conniving and down right immoral!!"

Cliff

[Scarlett]

Cliff: You're right Dave, that's why I went into the sanitation business.

James Beaumont:

[kygirl]

James:"Why didn't I get to try on a sack dress?"

Louella

[Kimmekap]

Louella: I'm gonna screw with JR today, I'll hide the red file from him...

Christopher

[Vote4Cliff]

Christopher: Uncle Cliff, can I move in with you? I hate Southfork!

Jock:

[Kimmekap]

Jock: The liquor cabinet is empty & the dog is pregnant, Sue Ellen & JR must be home.

Ray:

[Daphne]

Ray: Jenna I don't think we should get married, you should run back to Bobby again.

Jamie Ewing

[Kimmekap]

Jamie: Oh Cliffy, you wanna dunk your little egg roll in my soy sauce... What the hell do you mean, you can't get it up!!!

Katherine:

[mutt]

Katherine " Do i look like i have a small head in this hat ?



Harrison Page "

[Scarlett]

Harrison Page: Sue Ellen, would you like to work at the Store with Pam?

J.R.:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR. Ever since I took up knitting it has really helped relieve my stress. Hey Sly, will you stop at the store and get me some more yarn?

Bobby:

[Ewing6]

Bobby: I can't believe JR has turned into such a pansy, knitting like a girl.


Darius (what's he thinking):

[Vote4Cliff]

Darius: I am embarassed to be wearing this scarf JR knitted for me!

Miss Ellie:

[Ewing6]

Miss Ellie: You know ever since Clayton and I got married, I feel like different woman!


John Ross:

[Scarlett]

John Ross: Wow, my grandma sure looks different after her honeymoon with Grandpa Clayton, she looks like a whole different person.

Louise:

[Kimmekap]

Louise: I'm the damn star of this show! I should be in the opening credits...

Digger:

[Vote4Cliff]

Digger: Why the hell did JR Ewing mail me a handmade scarf for Christmas?

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Raoul, can you come up here & give me my bikini wax? I can't reach the "under carriage"...

Mickey Trotter:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mickey: He asked me first, Raoul, and I told him hellllllllll no!

Leslie Stewart:

[Kimmekap]

Leslie Stewart: JR, if you weren't such a pain in the ass then I would probably screw your brains out...

Aunt Maggie:

[kygirl]

Aunt Maggie:" Digger, you better come get your bratty kids before I beat them with this skillet"

Donna

[Scarlett]

Donna: I married Sam Culver for money and power.

Sue Ellen:

[Oil Baroness]

Sue Ellen: Really? I married JR for love.

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" I married JR for money and power"

Lucy

[Scarlett]

Lucy: I got married because my character needed a story line.

Afton:

[Ewing6]

Afton: Sorry Cliff Pamela doesn't belong to y9ou, she's Jock Ewings.


Tommy McKay:

[DuffMan]

Afton: Sorry Cliff Pamela doesn't belong to y9ou, she's Jock Ewings.


Tommy McKay:



Tommy: Damn I think I broke my hand on April's jaw!


Punk:

[Scarlett]

Punk: I think I will help Jamie and Cliff beat the Ewings in the court case for ownership of Ewing Oil.

Bruce Harvey:

[DuffMan]

Bruce: Wow Mandy, you are one fantastic actress! Get ready for that oscar.


Digger:

[Vote4Cliff]

Digger: I really didn't do that much to help, Jock really deserved full credit and profits from that first oil strike.

Sly:

[Scarlett]

Sly: Phylis, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me tonight after work.

Liz Craig:

[kygirl]

Liz:" Am I the only woman in Dallas that JR didn't sleep with?"

Matt Devlin

[Vote4Cliff]

Matt Devlin: I told Ellie my big drill was ready to start going deep into that sweet oil, that I'd drill ferociously until we had a big gusher at the end. She turned red and agitated and had to go up to her room with one of her migraine headaces. Was it something I said?

Ray

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Bobby, I know I ain't crazy but I think them horses over there were talking about me again...

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: I agree with you Ray, sometimes I swear I see them rolling their eyes and hear sarcastic chuckling behind my back. I thought it was because of the vodka.....?


Bobby

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: How in the hell did JR get his hands on Banjo's 1 share of Ewing Oil? Banjo would of never sold it to JR, he loved me!!!

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: Bobby, why did you give 1 share of Ewing Oil to your HORSE?? Its not like Banjo could vote or sign any papers, You watched a lot of Mister Ed growing up, didn'y you?

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: Everybody shut up!!! Dynasty is coming on & you know how hot that Blake Carrington is... That show is the best show on TV now!!!

Mandy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mandy: JR, I need time to get ready for my modelling assignment this afternoon. Lets see...get dressed, fix hair, put on makeup, pick up purse, lock the front door, get into car, drive to the shoot...

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: "I wonder what I would look like if I died my hair blonde....Donna would probably love it"

Donna:

[Oil Baroness]

Donna: Go for it, Ray. I am sick of the silver fox.

Dave Culver:

[Scarlett]

Dave: Maybe I should have an affair...

Kendall Chapman:

[Mr. Eugene]

Ray: You're not gonna believe this, Donna, but that was Sue Ellen on the phone. Seems she wants me to pose in one of those Valentine Lingerie photo shoots she called "Life on the Hard Range." She kept saying she couldn't wait to see J.R.'s face when he saw who I was co-modelling with....

Pam:

[Mr. Eugene]

Ray: You're not gonna believe this, Donna, but that was Sue Ellen on the phone. Seems she wants me to pose in one of those Valentine Lingerie photo shoots she called "Life on the Hard Range." She kept saying she couldn't wait to see J.R.'s face when he saw who I was co-modelling with....

Pam:

Sorry, I'm way behind.

By the way, how often does a poster actually quote himself?

[Daphne]

Pam: Oh JR we shouldn't have, what if Sue Ellen found out...she'll hate us forever.

Kendall

[Oil Baroness]

Pam: She was modeling with Mark Graison! The Pornstache and me in a porno!

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Thats ok Miss Ellie- I'll drive you. Let me just finish my tenth glass of Vodka here"

Sly

[Vote4Cliff]

Sly: JR, your mother is on line one. She asked if you made a poopy yet? Is this some kind of a joke?

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Dear Diary, I don't know what is wrong with me. Since Banjo's death, I can't get myself together & I can't stop my addiction for stealing batteries...

JOck:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: What? Eh? What did you day? Dammit! Bobby must have taken my hearing aid batteries, too! I'll whip his hide!

Donna:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Damn it Ray, use the pee pee pads. Bad Ray, bad bad Ray... Right on my new rug too. Come on, you're going outside...

Afton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Afton: Cliff may be thoughtless, selfish and treats me like crap, but at least he can use the bathroom like a normal person!

Pam:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: "Bobby must have listened to Jock when it came to sex, Jock told him to do just like the dogs do....last night, all Bobby did was sniff my ass and piss on the bed post....Guess I'll have to get Miss Ellie to straighten his ass out!!"

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not...
(thinking of Banjo while pulling petals of a flower)

JR:

[mutt]

J.R "Dammit Sue Ellen why dont you sing us more Barbara Streisand songs "


Rita Brigs

[Kimmekap]

Rita Briggs: I want $25K for my baby & I'll throw in a set of steak knives that cut through soda cans to sweeten the deal... How does that sound???

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: I don't bother leaving tips when I go out to restaurants, let the state provide for the lower class.

Pam:

[mutt]

Pam " I was reaching for the stars on top of that building"




Digger

[Kimmekap]

Digger: Hi, my name is Willard & I'm an alcoholic who can find oil... Jock Ewing turned me into a drunk & turned my girl Ellie into a slut with 3 kids...


JR:

[Scarlett]

Digger: Jason Ewing stole from me!

Jamie Ewing:

[mutt]

Jamie: "Jack did you and Janet see MR Forley at the Oil Barens Ball ?"



April :

[one mighty hobble]

April: Shelly, that hairdo makes you look like a Q-tip.


Jordan Lee

[ncpryor56]

Jordan Lee: "Thats right Miss Ellie. I have been in love with Jock for over 40 years. You stole Jock from me. I have always hated you for that."

Punk:

[kygirl]

Punk:" A thong? That's what you call this thing? Hell, I thought it was a sling shot. What do you do with it?

Mavis

[Kimmekap]

Mavis: Oh Punk, Jock ain't nearly as good as you are in the sack & I ended up doing all the work...

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: "I sure do miss Peter Richards, I wonder if there's any chance for us to hook-up and have a wild gay affair"

Peter:

[kygirl]

Peter:"I'm so excited! The new thong Speedos just arrived at The Store- I'm on my way for an upgrade!"

Jackie

[Oil Baroness]

Jackie: Cliff, shut up.

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: J.R., would you like to go out with me for a drink after hours?

J.R.:

[Oil Baroness]

J.R.: Oh, Cliffy, I'd love that. Bartender, I'll have a cosmopolitan.

Marilee:

[Scarlett]

Marilee: What are those idiots Cliff and J.R. doing together, they should be flirting with me. Oh those two should just get a room!

Jordan Lee:

[kygirl]

Jordan:" I need to trade in my gas guzzler for one of those new sub compacts that get 50 miles to the gallon. Oil prices are just way too high!"

Leslie Stewart

[Mickey Fairgate]

Leslie Stewart: "J.R. is not going to get me into bed...I want Bobby"

Afton:

[kygirl]

Afton:" My career is ruined now that the club got that new kaoreoke machine- anyone can sound better than me"

Teresa

[Scarlett]

Teresa (On the karoke machine):

Nine to Five, What a Way to Make a Living;
Barely Getting By,it's All Taking and no Giving

Carter McKay

[kygirl]

Teresa (On the karoke machine):

Nine to Five, What a Way to Make a Living;
Barely Getting By,it's All Taking and no Giving

Carter McKay

OMG Scarlett! How did you know that was my FAV. song?!!!!!:cheers:

Carter:" Wow, I need to sign Teresa to a record deal"

Valene

[Scarlett]

Valene: Gary, there's a new woman named Abby that moved on our street, let's be friendly and say hello.

Muriel Gillis:

[kygirl]

Muriel:"Lucy did it ever occur to you NOT to sleep with every man you meet?"

Sherriff Washburn

[Kimmekap]

Sherrif Washburn: Been a slow month on the DWI pick ups this month, Sue Ellen must be back on the wagon & JR must be back in love with her again... DAMN, there goes the quota...

Sam Culver:

[Vote4Cliff]

Sam Culver: Donna, where did you pick up this fetish for ropes, spurs and cowboy boots in the bedroom all of a sudden?

Katherine:

[Kimmekap]

Katherine: Oh damn, I hit Bobby again trying to turn around in Pam's driveway. He must be retarded or something...

BObby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Christopher, you are the ugliest baby I ever saw.

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: I have no desire for children or sex, I must be Sue Ellen...

Sue Ellen:

[one mighty hobble]

Sue Ellen: I can hardly wait for the Monster Truck Jam to come to Dallas


Angelica

[Vote4Cliff]

Angelica: I have nothing to wear! I need to go shopping!

Jenna:

[Scarlett]

Sherrif Washburn: Been a slow month on the DWI pick ups this month, Sue Ellen must be back on the wagon & JR must be back in love with her again... DAMN, there goes the quota...

Sam Culver:

Ouch :p

Jenna: All of the men that I've married have left Dallas.

John Ross:

[kygirl]

John Ross" Where's my Peeduur, I want my Peeduur."

Cliff

[Tatianna]

Cliff: "I'm so glad my sister is married to "that Ewing boy".:p :D

Donna

[kygirl]

Donna:" OMG! Ray is so stupid. Why can't he wipe his feet after he cleans stalls? How am I gonna get this manure out of the rug?"

Miss Ellie

[mutt]

Miss Ellie " i have a chinese lady that makes my dresses i have her hidden in the attic her name is Mrs Swan....I tell you she is a good worker....


Caset Denault

[Scarlett]

Casey Denault: Sly, why don't I whisk you away from Ewing Oil, and you come work for me and the New Cartel?

Cassie:

[one mighty hobble]

Cassie: Can I ever wear something other than this red hooker dress?


Cally

[Scarlett]

Cally: Why won't J.R. buy me a dress like Cassie's?

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" I think Cassie would look really good in my turban"

Mitch

[ncpryor56]

Mitch: "Lucy why don't you ask your granddaddy for a couple million so that I don't have to work and then we could just travel and party all the time like Paris Hilton?"

Lucy:

[Scarlett]

Lucy: Maybe I should move to Denver and join Fallon Carrington, she seems interesting, she probably has a story line.

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam: " Bobby, this very low cut bathing suit that I only wear once a year, does it make my butt look big?"

Bobby

[Tatianna]

Pam: " Bobby, this very low cut bathing suit that I only wear once a year, does it make my butt look big?"

Bobby



Bobby: "Now that you've mentioned it, Yes it does, dear"!


JR

[kygirl]

JR:" Who the hell is looking at your butt"

Sue Ellen

[one mighty hobble]

Sue Ellen: John Ross, stop looking at Aunt Pam's butt!


Clayton

[kygirl]

Clayton:" I'm drowning, I'm drowning- save me Pam!!"

Miss Ellie

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: Pam, don't rescue Clayton, we can collect on his estate and refineries.

[kygirl]

Teresa:" I've won the lottery!! So long you greedy Ewings!! Las Vegas here I come!!"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: Amanda, I'm divorcing Ellie and remarrying you.

Jack Ewing:

[kygirl]

jack:" after your divorce from Jock is final, Miss Ellie I'd sure like to take you for a night on the town. Then maybe later, a little Naked Leapfrog?"

Miss Ellie

[Oil Baroness]

Miss Ellie: Instead of naked leapfrog, why don't I try out that stripper pole I had installed in my bedroom at the Fork?

Clayton:

[emmalovesdallas]

Clayton : "I like it when you talk dirty. I'll just freshen up"

Afton

[one mighty hobble]

Afton: Cliff, you need some Viagra

Randy

[Scarlett]

Randy: One day I'm gonna be a star, a real big star.

Peyton Allen:

[kygirl]

Payton:" Mmmmm... well now Miss Ellie ,you sure do look LUSCIOUS in that house coat"

Louella

[Kimmekap]

Louella: JR, Kristin stoled all the White Out when you fired her & pissed in the coffee... And hooked all the paper clips together too. That bitch!

Mitch:

[one mighty hobble]

Mitch: I'm gonna pawn these medical books so I can go to Vegas with some cash

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Mitch: I vow to become a famous doctor and find the cure for shortness. Then maybe Lucy and I will start seeing eye to eye!

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: I wonder how much Mark left me in his will?

Afton Cooper:

[Oil Baroness]

Afton: Pam, if he didn't leave you anything, "steeeeaaaallll itttt awwwwaaaaayyyyy."


Cliff:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Cliff: "Pam, I hope Mark left everything to Marilee, she deserves it more then you do, since you left Bobby the way you did!!!"

Marilee:

[Vote4Cliff]

Marilee: They don't call Mark "pornstache" for nothing! (wink - wink)

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: What do you mean take off my shirt because it's tacky?

Liz Craig: