They Didn't Say That

[Scarlett]

Jamie: I'm going back to Santa Monica, California to live with Jack and Janet.

Lucy:

[Kimmekap]

Lucy:Wait! Jack's the gay one right? Or is it Janet?

Mickey Trotter

[Scarlett]

Mickey Trotter: I want a sitcom too.

Walt Driscoll:

[kygirl]

Walt:" I wanna go HOME!!!"

Teresa

[Kimmekap]

Teresa: Senora Ellie thank you so much for the sack dress you gave me instead of a bonus...

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: With mamma giving out sack dresses in lieu of a paycheck, Ewing Oil increases its profits by 60%.

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Do these tight-butted, underwear-line showing, flare-legged, polyester pants make me look hot or what?

JR:

[kygirl]

JR:" Wow Bobby, those pants DO make you look hot"

Pam

[Scarlett]

Pam: *Slaps J.R. upside the head* Why'd you have to go and tell him that!

Sue Ellen:

[one mighty hobble]

Sue Ellen: You know Pam, if you use your employee discount at The Store maybe your husband wouldn't dress like such a dork.

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: You know Suellen, if you got yourself some breast implants maybe your husband wouldn't have to sleep around with other women.

Ray:

[Scarlett]

Ray: I live in the great state of T-E-C-K-U-S.

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

lol lol poor Ray

Donna: Ray, its time for your bedtime story, "The Little Engine that Could" now come on and read along...

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: That halfbreed can't even read, he has to have Donna point out the words to him each night.

Sue Ellen:

[one mighty hobble]

Sue Ellen: At least they are in the same room together! Now come give me some stud service!

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Bobby, get in there and provide some stud service...Suellen is insatiable and I'm not as young as I used to be!

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Okay, but I'm calling Gary to see what Valene's doing next.

Ellie:

[one mighty hobble]

Ellie: I have a stud of my own, I can lend him out for special occasions if need be.

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: I can't wait to get home and take off this girdle that holds in my flabby mid-section ...

Afton:

[Scarlett]

Afton: Cliff Barnes is perfect.

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: Mitch Cooper is perfect.

Miss Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: I am the new president of Ewing Oil.

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: I am the new Vice President of Ewing Oil

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: I am tired of working at Barnes Wentworth and am going back to being a DA.

Louella:

[Vote4Cliff]

Louella: I hate my name.

Leslie Stewart:

[Scarlett]

Leslie Stewart: I'm attractive, and I know it.

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Yes, white hair and orange make-up are always in style!

Kristen Sheperd:

[Scarlett]

Kristin: Who wants to go to the shooting range?

Pammy:

[kygirl]

Pammy:" I have the ugliest baby in town"

Ellie

[Scarlett]

Ellie: I am a bad mother.

Mark Graison:

[Girl Watching Basketball]

Mark: Ah, she's married. I better just forget about her.

Wendell:

[Scarlett]

Wendell: I need someone to love me.

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Well don't look at me, Jeremy!!

JR:

[one mighty hobble]

JR: I'll love you Jeremy... just sign over your West Star shares, and I'm all yours.

Jeremy:

[kygirl]

Jeremy;" I wanna join the A Team"

Clayton

[Scarlett]

Clayton: I am going to take Ellie's last name and be a Ewing.

Donna:

[kygirl]

Donna:" Save a horse ; Ride a cowboy"

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: I only ride mechanical bulls.

Jenna:

[kygirl]

Jenna;' I was getting bucked off by my horse, then the manager came out and unplugged it"

Charlie

[Scarlett]

Charlie: WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Dr. Elby:

[one mighty hobble]

Dr. Elby: Charlie, come relax on my couch and tell me what a horrible childhood you have.

Jenna:

[Steve Winwood]

Jenna: Oh no Bobby, of course I understand you still love Pam. And you can give her that giant emerald too, I don't mind!

April:

[Scarlett]

April: I don't want to stalk Bobby and go to Europe because I don't want to pay for the plane ticket.

Michelle:

[Vote4Cliff]

Michelle: Cliff tricked me into marrying him...I am the luckiest girl in the world!!!

Aunt Lil Trotter:

[kygirl]

Lil:" You'd think my no good rich nephew would spare some change for a makeover..."

Clayton

[Scarlett]

Clayton: Gee maybe my refineries failed when I neglected to look at them for the past three years.

Dusty:

[Kimmekap]

Dusty: Daddy can you take me to ride the horsey in front of K-Mart? Please daddy please! So what if I'm 35, there's no age limit...


Miss Ellie

[kygirl]

Miss Ellie:" Mmmmmm.. Ray sure does have a nice a$$"

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: Thanks Miss Ellie. I mow it every week and keep it free of dandilions, it is nice and green isn't it?

Donna:

[kygirl]

Donna:" Ray is dumb"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: Well Ellie, I know Ray's a half-breed, but I just can't disown him.

Amy Farlow:

[one mighty hobble]

Amy: Do you smell something burning?

Clayton:

[Scarlett]

Clayton: I'm proud to call J.R. my son-in-law.

Jordan Lee:

[Kimmekap]

Jordan Lee: I maybe old, wrinkled, ugly & slow but I can't still give the ladies what they love... MONEY!

Marilee Stone:

[Scarlett]

Marilee: I miss my husband.

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Pam, get your ass in the kitchen and cook me some Hot Pockets... TRAMP!


JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Yeah, you too Suellen, you useless drunken whore! Get your bony ass in that kitchen where you belong!

Suellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: JR, do you want me to tell your family what you really like for me to do to you with my empty vodka bottles...

Jock:

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: *Sniff, sniff, sniff* I've never have children.

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: Jock get in the kitchen with the rest of those women & get to cooking!

Ray:

[Scarlett]

Ray: I can spell my name R-Y-E

Valene:

[Kimmekap]

Valene: R-Y-E, I should of got "knocked up" by you... You the smart one, ain't you?


Gary

[Scarlett]

Gary: Valene, that half-breed can't spell for anything, come back to California with me.

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: Ray might not be able to spell, but his huge package makes up for it! Yeeee-HAAAAWWWW!!

Dave Culver:

[Scarlett]

Dave Culver : Gee, I guess everything REALLY is bigger in Texas.

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: If that's true, why am I only 3 feet tall??

Lady Jessica Monford:

[Scarlett]

Lady Jessica Monford: Is this little Lucy, I thought she was 12 years old.

Vaughn Leeland:

[Kimmekap]

Vaughn Leland: Damn JR! I told you I was wearing my hot pink speedo today!

Alan Beam

[Vote4Cliff]

Vaughn Leland: JR, I can't find a girlfriend, do you think Louella would go out with me?

Cally Harper:

[Scarlett]

Alan Beam: Maybe if I act like J.R., I'll become a tycoon as well.

Cally Harper: Dallas sure is a big town - hope I don't get lost going to the market for some vittles.

Kristin Shepard:

[Kimmekap]

Kristin: When I grow up, I want to be nun & help all the needy...

Sue Ellen

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: Miss Ellie, you gotta make sure that J.R. wins this custody battle for John Ross, he's cramping my style at Southern Cross.

Harve Smithfield:

[Kimmekap]

Harve Smithfield: JR I got here as fast I could, I cut myself shaving too! LOOK! No, down there JR! Down there!

Leslie Stewart:

[Scarlett]

Leslie: I believe in putting business above the environment.

Wally Hampton:

[Kimmekap]

Wally Hampton: JR when you get to the slumber party tonight, we can do each other's hair, nails & finish plotting against Cliff.


Cally

[Vote4Cliff]

Cally: JR, what do you mean me coming to bed with my favorite barbie and my spongebob pajamas is kind of a turn off for you?

Suellen:

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: After 10 drinks, Digger is starting to look pretty good.

Louella:

[Kimmekap]

Louella: Geez, I should of just let Kirstin keep this suck ass job!!!

Bobby

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Why is a blond woman named Tammy stalking me? Do I know her?

April Stevens Ewing:

[one mighty hobble]

April: I'm a Ewing now. I want a corvette, a baby and a boyfriend. And don't make me angry because I'll whine all day long.

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Uh, can someone shoot her please?

Eddie from The Hot Biscuit:

[Kimmekap]

Eddie: Lucy I want to take you away from all this so you can make me rich...

Ray:

[JazzMan]

Ray: "Kiss my black @$$"!!!!


Kit?

[Scarlett]

Kit: I am in love with Lucy Ann Ewing.

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: I didn't really die after that plane crash, I faked my death again to get away from these horrible kids!

Sly:

[Girl Watching Basketball]

Sly: Phyllis...Bobby's not in love with you, so give it up.

Kendall:

[Kimmekap]

Kendall: "Hello Ewing Oil, who in the f*ck do you want to speak with! The retard or the snake! No JR's out banging some other woman today, well I'm sorry Sue Ellen that's just how it goes around here! LUSH!"

JR:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: I am going to follow in my daddy's footsteps and become a shoe salesman.

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: I am going to brush my hair over my face and go as Cousin It for Halloween

Clifford

[Scarlett]

Clifford: I am going to ask Mark Graison to be my date to the Oil Barons Ball.

Kristin:

[Vote4Cliff]

HEY!!! :grrr:

Kristen: Scarlett's a b*tch

Suellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Just call me truck stop- 'cause I'm open all night"

Clayton

[Scarlett]

Clayton: What happened to my refineries?

Alex Ward:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: You're more like a 7-11, open 24 hours, 7 days a week!

JR:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: I'll feed Christopher some grapes to shut him up.

Alex Ward:

[Vote4Cliff]

Alex Ward: Pam, either sleep with me or stop your whiny indecision, I am a very busy man!

Valene:

[Scarlett]

Valene: That big man J.R., he took my baby in exchange for these little papers with the old, dead presidents on them.

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:" Wow Valene, you are mighty hot in that uniform- How's about showing me your 'Hot Biscuits'?"

Naldo

[Vote4Cliff]

Naldo: Jenn-na, you are might hot on that mechaneekal bull, how's about taking your eetalian stallion for a ride?

Walt Driscoll:

[kygirl]

LOL!!!!!!!
Walt:" I think I'll go wax my mustache"

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: I wish JR was bald like Walt Driscoll...oh wait, I forgot, he is (once he takes off his toupee!)

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:(looking in the mirror) Gawd I'm hot!"

Lucy

[Scarlett]

Lucy: What job can I take on today.

Jenna #1:

[one mighty hobble]

Jenna #1: Where the hell am I? I thought this was Flamingo Road.

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:" Why do I always date whiny women?"

Cliff

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: I am proud to be a Barnes

Clayton:

[Scarlett]

Clayton: I bought Dusty from my drug-addicted sister Jessica because Amy and I couldn't have children of our own.

Jenna #2:

[kygirl]

Jenna:" I'm sure I'll lose this job to a celebrity who can't act but is famous for being married to a rock star"

Clayton

[Scarlett]

Clayton: This is my new life, I am now Mr. Ellie Ewing.

Alan Beam:

[kygirl]

Alan Beam:" I'm sorry teacher, my chest hair ate my homework"

Lucy

[Scarlett]

Lucy: Hey Ray, you want to come to the hayloft with me and help me with my homework?

Miss Ellie:

[one mighty hobble]

Miss Ellie: Sorry Lucy, I saw him first. Ray, can I handle your shotgun?

Ray:

[Scarlett]

Ray: Miss Ellie, it seems that we are out of feed for the cattle, what would you like me to do?

Cally Harper Ewing:

[Scarlett]

Bump. :)

[kygirl]

Cally:" I don't know nuthin' bout birthin no babies"

Donna

[Scarlett]

Donna: Profits for Dallas Dazzling Delights cosmetics have skyrocketed, Ray and I are turning the new ranch into a warehouse for the products.

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: I don't need any DDD cosmetics, my beauty is 100% natural.

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: That's not what the family plastic surgeon says.

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen :" I wish Pam and Bobby could have a child of their own"

Teresa

[one mighty hobble]

Teresa: No way, Jose'! That's all I need is another bambino around here to clean up after.

Clayton:

[kygirl]

Clayton:" Believe me, Ellie, even with one boob I'm more satisfied than if I'd stayed with Sue Ellen- she didn't have ANY"

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: What Sue Ellen lacks on her chest, she makes up for with her brains.

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam:" Yeah JR, we believe you."

Cliff

[one mighty hobble]

Cliff: I don't remember there being any "brain." I do remember that little black nightie, though!

Sue Ellen

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: Pamela, I have the brains to stay a Ewing for over ten years, you run away like a little girl whenever things don't go your way, now who's smarter?

Miss Ellie:

[kygirl]

Miss Ellie:" Shut the hell up, both of you, or I'll get the shotgun out of the hall closet!"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: Let's all have some Kool-Aid.

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: I don't want kool-aid daddy... Can I have a hooker & a joint please???

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: You can have my hooker when I'm done...recycle Bob, its good for the environment.

Jackie:

[Kimmekap]

Jackie: HEY! I'm not a hooker! I'm just exceptionally slutty... There is a difference!

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Jackie, sleep around on your own time you whore, these are work hours, and I don't pay you $3.50/hour for nothing!

Sly:

[Kimmekap]

Sly: Jackie is so lucky, her boss doesn't want to sleep with her... He only likes egg rolls...

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Sly get in here, I feel horny...hang on let me get comfortable here and take off my toupee, my waist-cincher and take out my dentures...ok darlin, I'm ready for you! Come to papa!

Phyllis:

[Kimmekap]

Phyllis: I'm sorry but washing JR's toupee is not my job Sly... Why is it sticky & crunchy? Is that sour milk on it?

BObby;

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Uh, ladies? Do you mind not leaving JR's toupee laying out here in the outer office? The last client we had in here thought it was a big rat and started beating it with his briefcase.

Jordan Lee:

[Kimmekap]

Jordan Lee: JR has the most fashionable toupee & denture combo in the whole state of Texas... *sigh*

Kristin:

[Vote4Cliff]

Kristen: I'd still take your bald head and real teeth any day of the week over JR, Jordy-poo

Alan Beam

[Kimmekap]

Alan Beam: My chest hair is made of real horse hair weaved in, just ask Sea Biscuit...

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

ewwwwwwww!!!

Donna: Ray, why do you so walk funny all the time, is it cause you ride horses all day?

Ray in response:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: HEY! Don't call Miss Ellie a horse!

Mickey Trotter:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mickey Trotter: I can tell you why I walk this way...I stay in a bunk house with 10 other lonely, horny ranch hands!

Jeremy Wendell:

[Kimmekap]

Jeremy Wendell: 10 lonely, horny ranch hands... Can I get a few of them for myself!!! Please!

Carter McKay:

[Vote4Cliff]

Carter McKay: Jeremy, I'm lonely and horny...and I have this sexy black leather vest I like to wear too! Come on over!

Rose McKay:

[Kimmekap]

Rose McKay: Carter, Jeremy is here for you homo-erotic play date... Jeremy can I get you a drink, whip, butt plug, anal lube or a drink?

James:

[Vote4Cliff]

James: JR, Carter McCay has asked me to come over and "play" with him and Jeremy Wendell. Can I go? Huh? Can I? Can I?

Clayton Farlow:

[Kimmekap]

Clayton Farlow: Ellie, stop leaving your fake boobs laying all over the place. I bite into one this morning thinking it was a dough-nut!

Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Ellie: Bobby, take the curlers out of your hair, we have company.

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: But momma, my perm hasn't set yet & my hair will fall...

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: Bobby stole all my curlers, now I won't look presentable for Mark Graison tonight, Wah.

Muriel:

[kygirl]

Muriel:" I wish I was Sue Ellen"

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: I really wish you weren't.

Valene:

[kygirl]

Valene:" Wow JR, you sure are HOT with that toupee, gut sucking girdle and dentures."

Gary

[Kimmekap]

Gary: Being Gary #2 sucks!

Sue Ellen

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: I am joining Cliff's campaign for Senate.

Donna:

[kygirl]

Donna:" How come I got the dumb Ewing brother but I'm the smartest wife?"

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: How come I got the most flat chested wife but I've got the biggest tallywacker?

JR

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: How come I got the greediest Ewing brother - I am not that demanding.

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam:" I got the good Ewing- so why would I dump him for Pornstachio?"

Rebecca

[Scarlett]

Rebecca: Why can't Cliff be more like J.R.?

Vaughn Leeland:

[one mighty hobble]

Vaughn: Afton makes my skin crawl

Cliff:

[kygirl]

Cliff:" I'm gonna open my own morgue and call it 'Cliff's Stiffs'"

Jenna

[Scarlett]

lollol

Jenna: I'm going to be a mortician at Cliff's Stiffs.

J.R.:

[one mighty hobble]

JR: Why don't you hire Afton to sing "Steal Me Away" at the funerals?

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: All of my employees shall be paid in Chinese coupons.

Jackie:

[one mighty hobble]

Jackie: 我放棄了 (Chinese for "I quit")

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Jackie: 我放棄了 (Chinese for "I quit")


lol

Pam: I hate children!

[one mighty hobble]

Christopher: I know.

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Then quit whining about having dozens of babies!

J.R.:

[JazzMan]

JR: I like kids, 'cause I don't have to raise 'em.

Swellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: I like kids too, they're tall enough to fetch my booze from the liquor cart for me...

Miss Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: Why don't we ask Amanda and her medical team to move onto Southfork?

Jordan Lee:

[one mighty hobble]

Jordan: Kristen, you'd better keep your distance. I'm a married man.

Kristen:

[Scarlett]

Kristin: If I wanted an old man, I'd call Vaughn Leeland over you any day.

Sam Culver:

[Vote4Cliff]

Sam Culver: Donna, my diaper needs changed.

Ray

[Scarlett]

Ray: Let me do it, Donna's pregnant and I need to practice.

Mark Graison:

[JazzMan]

Mark: Send Sam to my new clinic.

Jerry Kenderson:

[Scarlett]

Jerry: I'm Mr. Personality.

Mandy Winger:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mandy Winger: JR loves my big boobs.

Jackie

[Scarlett]

Jackie: Cliff Barnes pays very well.

[one mighty hobble]

Jackie: Is anyone listening to me?? :)

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: I'm giving everyone an extra special Christmas bonus this year.

J.R.:

[kygirl]

JR:" I already gave Julie her extra special bonus, and Louella, and Kristen, oh, and Sly..."

Sue Ellen

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: I'll take my extra special Vodka bonus, JHHHAAARRR. You don't have to wrap it either...

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: For Christmas this year, I've made all the boys santa suit underwear made of red fur with white trim and bells.

Jock

[Kimmekap]

Jock: Ellie, I told you I don't want my balls jingling with bells again! Makes the ranch hands laugh when I'm riding...

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH HAHA HA HA HA !!! lol lol ROTFLMAO!!!! good one

JR: I don't like those furry underwears either mama, they made my already wide ass look even bigger!

Ray:

[Scarlett]

Ray: I love mine, thank-you Miss Ellie.

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Ray likes his fur underwears cause it keeps his balls all nice and toasty warm while he's out ranching during the winter, but since I work in an office they are just too hot for me!

Phyllis:

[Scarlett]

Phyllis: I say keep them, I'm enjoying the little jingle jangle when Bobby says hello to me, now it's Christmas every day.

Sly:

[Vote4Cliff]

Sly: Uh...I'm getting tired of JR scratching his nutsack all the time cause the fur itches, I know when he's doing it too cause I hear "jing -jing-jing-jing-jing!"

Kendall

[Scarlett]

Kendall: I don't get to hear anything because the Ewing men don't walk by me.

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen "I need to pick up JR's toupee at the cleaners"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: Real men wear toupees.

Cliff:

[kygirl]

:D:D Your very best comeback!!!!!!!

Cliff:I wish I had a toupee"

Mandy

[Scarlett]

Thank-you. :o

Mandy: I met my first husband at a hair club for men.

Jenna:

[kygirl]

Jenna:"Do you think my awful acting ability makes my butt look big?"

Christopher

[one mighty hobble]

Christopher: No, it's being pregnant with my half brother that's making your butt big.

Charlie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Charlie: Ray, will you teach me what Randy was gonna teach me in the horse stall before you kicked him out?

Ray:

[kygirl]

Ray:" Of course- why do you think I kicked him out? I like 'em young!"

Lucy

[Scarlett]

Lucy: Charlie, you tramp, Ray's MY man!

Muriel:

[Vote4Cliff]

Muriel: Sorry Lucy, you're over 18 now, Ray's not interested anymore.

Jerry Kenderson:

[one mighty hobble]

Jerry: Sue Ellen, you're a drunk and an unfit mother. Oh, and you're fired!

Sue Ellen:

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: Oh yes Jerry, I would love to have a relationship with you and leave my fat, toupee wearing husband, let me get the divorce papers.

J.R.:

[one mighty hobble]

JR: Sure, go ahead and play doctor, Sue Ellen. Next thing you know Ewing Oil will explode and my brother will be taking a shower.

Angelica:

[Vote4Cliff]

Angelica: JR, betcha I have more hats than you do!

JR:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Mandy Winger is the prettiest woman alive, I think I am going to marry her.

Liz Adams:

[one mighty hobble]

Liz: (softly) I wish I didn't whisper all the time.

Cliff:

[kygirl]

Cliff:" This licorice sticks to my teeth"

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Jock, quit staring at my boobs you old coot!

Digger

[Scarlett]

Digger: There's water in that glass, not alcohol.

Marilee Stone:

[kygirl]

Marilee:" I'm going to be the spokesmodel for Vagisil"

Clayton

[Scarlett]

Clayton: J.R.'s my favorite stepson.

Christopher:

[kygirl]

Christopher:" Wow, I don't look like either of my parents"

Teresa

[Scarlett]

Teresa: Christopher is really my son, I gave him up for adoption.

Mavis Anderson:

[kygirl]

Mavis:" This new miracle bra sure does the trick"

Julie Grey

[Scarlett]

Julie Grey: How I wish Jay Are would leave his Sue Ellen so that I could finally profess my love to her.

Kristin Sheaprd:

[kygirl]

Kristen:" I really need to help Sue Ellen with her alcoholism"

Bobby

[Scarlett]

Bobby: I am going out for the varsity baseball team.

Andy Bradley:

[Vote4Cliff]

Andy Bradley: I am in love with Sly, I wonder if she will go out with me?

Jordan Lee:

[Kimmekap]

Jordan Lee: I'm in love with Andy, wonder if he will go out with me? *sigh*

Marilee Stone

[Vote4Cliff]

Merilee Stone: I want Andy and Jordan to screw me at the same time while Sly films it. I wonder if they're all up for it?

Phyllis:

[Kimmekap]

Phyllis: Sly, you'll need the long lens for Marilee... Yeah down there!

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: I'd love to see Andy Bradley and Jordan Lee doing Merilee while Sly films it and Phyllis gets on her knees to service me...

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Sue Ellen, we're donating all of your fancy designer dresses to charity.

Sue Ellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: NO! Not my best drunk clothes! Here, take your momma's sack dresses!

Miss Ellie

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: We're all one big, happy, normal family.

Clayton:

[Kimmekap]

Clayton: Yeah Ellie, Sue Ellen is looking hot over there drunk & passed out. Think I've got a shot with her Ellie?

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Hey Ray, you mid if I go and brand some cattle with you today.

Donna:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Ray, you & JR have fun branding unicorns & fairies today...

Miss Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: I was the first person to welcome Ray to the family."

Valene:

[Kimmekap]

Valene: Actually Miss Ellie, Gary & I "welcomed" the hell out of Ray first...

Pam

[Scarlett]

Pam: Gee, now that Ray's a bonafide Ewing, I could marry him, and still get the Ewing fortune.

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" I wanna brand cattle with JR today"

Lucy

[Kimmekap]

Lucy: Can someone help me? I can't reach the top of the coffee table for the remote control!

Jock

[kygirl]

Jock:" Has anyone seen my hemorrhoid cream?"

Ellie

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: It's right here Jock, oh know you mixed it up with your denture cream again! Now your butt cheeks are sealed shut & your mouth smells like your ass again!

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Who the hell has been using my Aqua-Net? I only have 5 cans left and that needs to last me thru the weekend...

Jackie:

[Kimmekap]

Jackie: Why didn't Cliff pick me? I have bigger teeth than Jamie!

Pam

[kygirl]

Pam:" Has anyone seen my bikini line shaver? Bobby, have you been using it to shave your face again?"

Donna

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: Sorry Pam, Ray was using it on the bulls again. He likes their balls to be nice and smooth before he takes them into the cattle auction...smooth-balled cattle always sell for more than hairy-balled cattle.

Aunt Maggie:

[Kimmekap]

Aunt Maggie: I don't understand why that Aunt Lil' gets more lines & air time then me! Have you seen her teeth! Looks like she's been snacking on firecrackers!

Ray

[kygirl]

Ray:" Life is like a box of chocolates..."

Miss ellie

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: Run Ray run! Run!

JR:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: I'm going to give my dear brother Gary a phone call today, see how he's doing.

Aunt Maggie:

[kygirl]

Aunt Maggie:" You know, I think I'll give Ellie Ewing a call. Maybe she has a secret to get skidmarks out of Cliff's drawers"

Dr Danvers

[Scarlett]

Dr. Danvers: Pam, I don't know how to tell you this, you're having septuplets.

Katherine Wentworth:

[kygirl]

Katherine:" Man, my brother Cliff is HOT"

Cliff

[Scarlett]

Cliff: I am going to let Afton down gently and send her back to Atlanta to be with her mother and Mitch.

Connie:

[kygirl]

Connie:" Ummm.. where should I file these payments to all the Ho's JR has sired illegitimate children by?"

Louella

[Scarlett]

Louella: Here Connie, I'll take the one with my name on it, the rest you'll have to track down yourself.

Amanda Ewing: