They Didn't Say That

[Mickey Fairgate]

Lucy: Learn to drink straight lemon juice Sue Ellen, it'll cut down on the farts

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Mamma, the truth is, Pammy blackmailed me into marrying her. She said she would distribute the red file if I didn't make her my wife.

Julie Grey:

[kygirl]

Julie:" Now why didn't I think of that?"

Willie Joe Garr

[Scarlett]

Willie Jo Garr: Hey there Jeb, guess what? The Barnes Woman delivered the goods and got us the red file...yeah she took it while Bobby was sleeping.

J.R.:

[JazzMan]

JR: I knew I hated that Barnes woman...now I know why!

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: I didn't give Willie Joe or Jeb the red file, I just gave them good sex...

Jock

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Yup Bobby, she sure did! I wacked off while I watched them!

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: HOW COULD YOU! Willie Joe you promised me I was the one you wanted!

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Don't whine Bob. I'll do ya. I'm up for some homosexual incest. Are ya ready to go again, daddy?

Jock:

[Kimmekap]

Jock: Sure JR but hump my left leg this time, you made my right leg sore & left it wet again...

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: Stop it boys and put your things away, its time for lunch.

Teresa:

[one mighty hobble]

Teresa: Drop the chalupa!

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: Lucy, I'm gonna put you over my knee and spank you!

Lucy

[Kimmekap]

Lucy: Can Dusty joins us while you spank me...

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Let's all get spanked shall we? I'm next, Clayton!

Miss Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: Clayton you are into some freaky stuff... Ever seen snake porn? Let's call Mickey Fairgate...

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: I don't want spanked, I couldn't feel it anyways, my butt is all toughened up like leather from years of riding horses.

Pam

[Kimmekap]

Pam: SPANKINGS! HOW GROSS! What happened to plain sex with no frills, doesn't anybody do that anymore!

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Bobby does. That's why I hardly sleep with him anymore.

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Let me show you what I can do with an egg roll... Hold still Pam!

Jamie

[one mighty hobble]

Jaime: Cliff, I thought you were going to roll my eggs next!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: I'm going to use hay mixed with soy sauce for you Jamie, since you've got that horse teeth thing going & I find that too sexy!

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: Where'd I put my shot gun?

Garrison:

[kygirl]

Garrison:" I came home for this?"

Julie Grey

[Vote4Cliff]

Julie Grey: Do you think my flip hairstyle looks old fashioned, JR?

Afton Cooper:

[Scarlett]

Afton: Mitch is swearing off women for good, and we are both moving to Atlanta for a spin off of our own.

Lucy:

[JazzMan]

Lucy: yeah...a faux reality show...called "I F**ked My Sister".

Mitch:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mitch: You can come too Lucy and we will do a modern spin on "Three's Company"

JR:

[kygirl]

JR:" Great- as long as you leave- NOW"

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: Your daddy, Digger and I tried an arrangement like that once back when we were young, it didn't work out so well though.

Jock:

[kygirl]

Jock:" Well, it would have been better if Digger wasn't drunk all the time and could see where he was putting things..."

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: Well I hope you learned your lesson Jock, never shower with a male roommate to save money on the water bill, and if you do, don't drop the soap!

Digger:

[Scarlett]

Digger: I'm stone cold sober - have been for the past 40 years.

Katherine:

[kygirl]

Katherine:" I'm off to renew my driver's license"

Jessica

[Scarlett]

Jessica: I think I shall tour Dallas just for the fun of it.

Winger Tramp:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Winger Tramp: Sue Ellen, can I borrow some of your cologne, J.R. loves the smell, especially when I spray, "down there"

Sue Ellen:

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: *Giving her a bottle filled with poison* Sure Mandy, just remember to apply it generously all over for best results.

Amanda Ewing:

[kygirl]

Amanda:" Don't I look beautiful in this dress? Jock, a very nice lady gave me this dress in your favorite purple color- she said it was all the rage. It's called a 'sack' dress"

Jock

[Kimmekap]

JOck: Amanda I always liked you better in those shortie shorts & tank top since you have 2 real boobs...

Miss ellie

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: From now on, I'm just 'Ellie', the next person who calls me 'Miss Ellie' will be meeting my handy dandy shotgun.

[kygirl]

Clayton:" Gawd Ellie, you sure are sexy when you're angry. Lets go upstairs and play naked Twister"

Rebecca

[JazzMan]

Rebecca: Can I join in? I can hit 6 points, Clayton and Ellie - you guys can only hit 5...hahaha...losers.


Ellie:

[kygirl]

Ellie:" You can hit six just because you use the horns on top of your head, you flat chested bimbo"

Jock

[Vote4Cliff]

LMAO horns!!! lol

Jock: Dammit Ellie! I gotta take a whiz and all the bathroom are occupied!

Ellie

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: Here Jock, use Sue Ellen's vodka glass. It's not like she will know the difference.

Sue Ellen

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Wow, is this the new flavored 'Lynchburg Lemonade?" (takes a big swallow)

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Hey, who put salt in my vodka? Ah what the hell...slurp slurp

JR

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Wow Sue Ellen, that is some foamy looking vodka & kinda murky yellow too.

JR: HEY! WHO PISSED IN MY BOOTS!!!

Donna

[kygirl]

JR:" Here Sue Ellen, let me give you a refill..."(unzips his pants)

Donna:" I'll pour my own, thank you"

Ray

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Piss filled drinks for everybody!!!

Lucy

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: I drink pee every day - thats what gives my hair its beautiful golden color.

Miss Ellie

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: I drink something else out of your granddaddy, that's what makes my hair white.

Gary

[kygirl]

Gary:" EEEEWWWWWWW!"

Teresa

[Kimmekap]

Teresa: Oh no! That is why my hair is turning white! I need to tell Senor Jock!


Rauol

[Vote4Cliff]

Raoul: I drink Texas crude oil every day - it keeps my hair shiny black!

Ray

[Kimmekap]

Ray: I drink a little of both, Jock & oil. Uh nevermind!

Donna

[kygirl]

Ray:" Psstt. Miss Ellie, you think Jock suspects I breast feed off you every day?"

Donna:" Ray, why is your hair white?"

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: You know those chunks in my chil? Its not tomatoes and its not ground meat. Its chopped up Jock poo.

JR

[kygirl]

JR:" That is just flat out disgusting" :)

Pam

[Scarlett]

Pam: Let's all have a picnic down by the oil fields.

Jenna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jenna: Can I come on the family picnic too? I'm gonna try to seduce Bobby, and if that doesn't work, I'll settle for half-breed Ray.

Ray

[Scarlett]

Ray: Hey now, I don't want to be sloppy seconds. I'm a best seller darn it!

Charlie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Charlie: Can Brad Pitt come too? Oops I mean Randy?

JR:

[Scarlett]

J.R. I'm gonna need 50 invites for the picnic, I've got some...guests.

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Just make sure to pack lots of vodka- oops ,I mean water"

Lucy

[Scarlett]

Lucy: I can ride over in Ray's Jeep, he lets me ride with the cargo.

Valene:

[Vote4Cliff]

Valene: Just don't make me serve the food at the picnic, I may be as waitress but I'm off duty!

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: I know, we can put Phyllis and Sly to work.

Cliff:

[Daphne]

Cliff: I am so proud of Catherine, she is always my favorite sister.

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Who wants a lemonade nightcap?

Jeff Faraday:

[Daphne]

Jeff Faraday: Sue Ellen is the best wife in the world, Im glad I married her

Mickey Trotter

[Scarlett]

Mickey: No Lucy, I don't want to get in the car with Sue Ellen, she's a bad driver.

Muriel Gillis:

[JazzMan]

Muriel: Yeah, she's even worse than Lucy!!!

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: Shut up you frizzy-haired four-eyed ugly b*tch!!

Miss Ellie:

[kygirl]

Miss Ellie:" Has anyone seen my shotgun?"

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: I think its in the hall closet, I'll go check!

Liz Craig, Pam's boss at "The Store":

[kygirl]

Liz:" Yeah, Pam, it would be nice if you actually showed up for work more than 4 hours a week"

Pam

[Scarlett]

Pam: But Liz, my life is such a mess right now. J.R.'s plottin' to break up my marriage, Cliff is blatherin' about some 'red file', Bobby is spending time with his first girlfriend, I still can't get pregnant...it's not easy bein' pretty.

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Oh Gawd! Shut the hell up Pam! I need a drink...

First Jenna to Bobby about his marital problems:

[Scarlett]

:cheers: V4C. Excellent.

Jenna: You know what your problem is Bobby, you married the high maintenance daughter of the town drunk. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE! YOU COULD HAVE HAD MEEEEEEE!

V4C, this thread doesn't require you to give the context, just character. You are thinking of, 'What Should They Say'. lol

[Vote4Cliff]

oh sorry I get them mixed up!! :-$ lol

Who is next?

[Scarlett]

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: Muriel, do you want me to hook you up with my Uncle Ray? He won't care that you're so ugly, he has very little self esteem.

Ray:

[Scarlett]

Ray: Hey Lucy, whatcha doing sticking the ugly duckling on me? I may be dum, but I have standards!

Gary:

[Vote4Cliff]

Garry: Lucy come to California to live with me and your mom, we miss you!

Donna:

[Scarlett]

Donna: Yeah the poison dwarf away, she made Mickey die!

Aunt Lil:

[Vote4Cliff]

Aunt Lil: Can I move in here with you and Raymond? I am lonely back in Kanasas now that Micheal is dead.

Ray:

[Scarlett]

Ray: Well Lil, this house is already cramped with all of Donna's books THAT SHE HAD TO KEEP!!!! I told her to throw them away or color with them and she said 'NO RAY, BOOKS ARE FOR LOOKING AT, NOT TOUCHING!'

Donna:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Oh why didn't I marry the greedy brother... So much space with so few brain cells.

Lucy

[Scarlett]

Lucy: Lucy is spelled L-O-S-E-R.

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: I want to get one of those fashionable new mullet hairdos like Suellena and Pam!

Clayton:

[Scarlett]

Clayton: Me too, mullets are making a comeback you know. ;)

Elsie the cow:

[Vote4Cliff]

Elsie the cow: Get your hands of my udders, you perverted farmer! (KICK!)

Darius the horse:

[Scarlett]

Darius: I'm gonna kill Charlie Wade.

Pete The Horse:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pete the Horse: I am only a figment of Ray's imagination.

Blazer, Jock's Horse:

[Scarlett]

Blazer: Jock Ewing was an abusive owner and I hope he's with the devil.

The horse that threw Pammy when she was pregnant:

[Vote4Cliff]

Horse that threw Pammy: Ouch! I didn't mean to - she dug into my sides with her high heel boots!! Neeeiggggh!

Dr. Danvers

[Kimmekap]

Dr. Danvers: BObby, I'm sorry Pam has lost the whole litter.

Bobby to Dr. Danvers

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby to Dr. Danvers: Could you examine my pee pee is good and healthy, doc? (zzzziiippppp) here...

Dr. Danvers in response

[Scarlett]

Dr. Danvers: I quit!

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing Lockwood:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen Shepherd Ewing Lockwood: Hmmm....? what last name do I want next? Richards?Ogden? Barnes? Krebbs? Kenderson?

Mrs. Ellie Southworth Ewing Farlow:

[Scarlett]

Ellie: Go with Kenderson, Sue Ellen. Then you can get me free medications.

Pamela:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pamela: No, I want Jerry Kenderson! Suellen gets all the good men, its not fair!

Jerry:

[Kimmekap]

Jerry: Sorry Pam, Sue Ellen is less dramatic & always drunk...

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Pammy, what about me? Why are you looking for another man??

Pammy:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: I'm done with you Bobby, my daddy was right when he said you are all hair down there...

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Pam should have come to me when she had the chance.

Muriel:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Muriel: - Show me your hips, Shakira!

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: Paaaaaaaaaaaam, I need more money to beat Jaaaaayyy Aaaarrrrreee and win Suuueee Ellleeeennn back.

April:

[Daphne]

April: Jack, lets get married again

Michelle

[Scarlett]

Michelle: No one wants to marry me!

Christopher:

[JazzMan]

Christopher: I do...I like older women. Uncle Clayton, can you get Jessica to come for another visit?

Clayton:

[Scarlett]

Clayton: What did I do to deserve ending up with you people?

Ray:

[kygirl]

Ray:" I like eggs"

Donna

[one mighty hobble]

Donna: Sorry, I don't do eggs. Now don't disturb me again while I'm climbing on my pedestal.

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Call Ace Ventura! Banjo is missing again! So are my crotchless panties!

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: Ray, I've tried to explain this to you before, crotchless panties don't work for men, your "access hatch" needs to be a little higher up...

JR:

[kygirl]

JR:" Crotchless panties...Yummm... is that what we are having for dinner tonight?"

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Why do you ask JR, is that Winger Tramp coming to dinner here at SF?

Bobby

[kygirl]

Bobby:" Yummm... pass the whipped cream"

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: We are not eating underwear for dinner! that is disgusting!

Cliff

[kygirl]

Cliff;' Speak for yourself Pam, Ellie's Edible Undies taste almost as good as Chinese!"

Miss Ellie

[Scarlett]

Ellie: How do I make my children leave my home?

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: Let them stay, let's move out Ellie to the old folk's home!

Sly

[Scarlett]

Sly: I'll start looking for suitable housing right now Mr. and Mrs. Farlow.

Pamela:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pamela: Jackie, when you're done here at the office, would you mind coming to my mansion and baby-sitting Christopher?

Jackie:

[kygirl]

Jackie:" Sure, just after I check in with my parole officer"

Cliff

[Scarlett]

Jackie: Seriously! I babysit Cliff from 8-5 every darn day, and now I have to spend time with the ugliest kid that ever lived? I seriously quit! Seriously!

Muriel:

[Vote4Cliff]

Muriel: Ugly baby Christopher is really my biological child, I am surprised no one figured that out yet!

Cliff

[Scarlett]

Cliff: Haha, I knew it all along. Miss Gillis as DA of Dallas I am giving you a subpoena to appear in court and claim your brat.

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Cliff you should also fine her for putting such a hideous child into the population of Dallas and embarrassing me and Bobby!

Suellen

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: Now hold on, hold on, Kristin was my only sister, and I miss her terribly. Christopher's my only tie to her, so I want to adopt him. I know this fabulous plastic surgeon and Christopher can look just as normal as little John.

J.R.:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Dammit Suellen, if you want another baby I'll knock you up the old fashioned way, come here darlin...

Joe Don:

[Scarlett]

Joe Don: Mr. Ewing, why did you push me in the pool? Is that an American custom that I am not familiar with?

Lucy:

[Kimmekap]

Lucy: TERESSSSSSAAAA! Bring me my step ladder so I can get in my car! I have to go to model!

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: I want to be a model too.

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Pam, honey, sluts don't model!

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: I am going to be a model for Wrangler jeans and Malboro cigarettes!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: I've been modeling these brown suits for the Boy's department from the Salvation Army for years...

Jamie

[Vote4Cliff]

Jamie: Cliff why do you wear those brown suits in public, at home you wear those sexy wifebeater undershirts and tight jeans...oh la la!

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: CLIFF! Get the hell out of my tight jeans & white sparkley tank tops! The jeans give you a nasty looking camel toe!

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: I am going to be the new spokesmodel for White Man's Fro shampoo

JR:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R.: Is your boyfriend Greg Brady going to be in the commercials with you??

Ray:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: I am tired of just working with cattle and horses, I am going to bring some llamas and yaks to Southfork!

Clayton:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Clayton: Don't forget the unicorns too, Ray

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: Damn it, Clayton, why did you say that to Ray? You know he is slow, and now he is calling all around Texas trying to find unicorns to buy!

Donna:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Donna: Clayton, for heaven's sake, you know how seriously Ray takes things.

Ray:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: Hello? This is Ray Krebbs, the Southfork ranch foreman. I'd like to buy some unicorns. Thats right, unicorns...no, this isn't a practical joke...

JR:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R.: Sly, call up Ray, pretend to be from the Texas Unicorn Supply Company, and tell him you can sell him 100 unicorns

Sly:

[Kimmekap]

Sly: Unicorns JR? When did Ewing Oil start selling unicorns? Can I get one with an employee discount?

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

LMAOOOOOOO - OMG I can't stop laughing! lol lol lol lol lol lol

Sly: Hello, Mr. Krebbs? This is the Texas Unicorn Supply Company, we have 100 unicorns available for sale at $5000 per unicorn. Are you interested?

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: Yes, this will make my new father Clayton very happy

Clayton:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Unicorns! Really! Yeah can I get 100 pink ones & does it cost extra to add glitter on them too?

Clayton: Ray! I told you unicorns aren't real! Did you milk those yaks yet?

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: Hey, what is this withdrawal from the SF ranch account for $500,000 payable to T.U.S.C.?

Miss Ellie: Ray, you retard! unicorns don't really exist, JR is playing a trick on you.

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Unicorns aren't real! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOO! Next you will tell me Santa Claus isn't real either!

Pam

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: Oh, Bobby, grow up, it's time you realized that the Easter Bunny is gay, and that Easter is supposed to be the Gay National Holiday

Sue Ellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: Somebody tell Donna lesbians are supposed to celebrate that day too.

Jock!

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: What the hell is going on here? Someone glued styrofoam cones on the foreheads of the entire herd of SF cattle!

Pam

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Ray did it Jock cause Miss Ellie was being a bitch & canceled his unicorn order after he promised me a pink one with glitter hearts on it.

Miss Ellie

[JazzMan]

Miss Ellie: I think all you f**king people around here are on drugs!!!

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Time for a family meeting! Ray you dumb ass you cant ranch unicorns - they don't exist. JR stop having Sly make crank calls to sell Ray unicorns and taking his money - I want you to return his $500,000. Pam, you are confusing the real thing with your "My Pretty Pony" collection. Real horses don't smell like strawberries and have sparkles and hearts and a pink mane for you to curl and comb. Now are we all on the same page?

Ray:

[kygirl]

Ray:" My Pretty Ponies " aren't real either? What will I tell Strawberry Shortcake?"

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: *Sigh* Now Pam will be crying to her Care Bear all night long.

Lucy:

[JazzMan]

Lucy: Yeah...she took my Care "Bare". I hope she remembers to blow it up first.

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Bobby, I'm sorry... Next time I'll put the toilet seat back down after I pee...

Miss Ellie;

[kygirl]

Miss Ellie:" Pam, that wasn't the toilet, that was my big pot of chili"

Jock

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Dammit, a little pee in the chili never hurt nobody! Don't be a bunch of wusses!

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:" Daddy, who do you think is hotter with his shirt off, me or Ray?"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: I want Gary to bring Valene and the twins to live here at Southfork full time.

J.R.:

[kygirl]

JR:" I think I'll come in from the office and help Ray on the ranch today"

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: "I think I'll clean up, put on a suit and go into the office to help JR today"

Suellen

[JazzMan]

Swellen: I think I'll clean up, put on a suit and go into the office to help Cliff today.

[one mighty hobble]

Pam: I think I'll clean up after the family today.

Donna:

[kygirl]

Donna:" I think I'll go skinny-dipping with some of the ranch hands today"

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: I think I'll give Ray a call and tell him his wife is swimming naked with his ranch hands.

Lucy

[kygirl]

Lucy:" I think I'll go into Dallas, find a REAL job, find a nice, decent guy, get married, pursue my career and be happy....NAH"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: I think I'll give Gary a call, set him up with a California oil company.

Julie Grey:

[kygirl]

Julie:" I think I'll learn to fly"

Kristen

[Scarlett]

Kristin: Julie, let me give you some powder, it's just like flying - but way cooler.

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" I think I'll go in and serve at the Dallas Soup Kitchen"

Pam

[Scarlett]

Pam: I think I'll go to work in Barnes Wentworth this morning.

Kristin:

[kygirl]

Kristen:" I think I'll mend my ways, find a nice, decent young man to marry and become a loving sister to Sue Ellen"

Teresa

[Scarlett]

Teresa: I quit!

Muriel:

[kygirl]

Muriel:" Lucy is SOOOO dumb- she has NO idea I've been stealing all her money out of her purse - she thinks I actually LIKE her- good thing she doesn't see through my 'goody two shoes 'disguise"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: That girl Muriel is such a good example to Lucy, I wish she was my granddaughter.

Arliss Cooper:

[kygirl]

Arliss:" Wow, I hope Afton can sleep with JR and get some perks- maybe she could even get pregnant by him, then we'd really be set!"

Cliff

[Scarlett]

Cliff: Afton, what do you mean J.R. is the father. I feel so betrayed. Boo-hoo, boo-hoo.

Evelyn Michaelson

[kygirl]

Evelyn:" Oohh, Lucy you can have this snivelling Mitch back- he's no good in the sack"

Lucy

[Scarlett]

Lucy: Oh woe is me, I shall never find my one coquette to fulfill loves duet.

Pamela:

[kygirl]

Pam:" Wow, I wonder if Lucy's been watching that 'Enchanted' movie"

Miss ellie

[Scarlett]

lollollollollol

Miss Ellie: I think so. She finds Robert ever so dreamy.

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

ok- that is sooo weird- i JUST finished watching that movie for the first time!!!

Sue Ellen:" This turban looks dreadful"

Pam

[Scarlett]

Did you like it?

Pam: Bobby, that mean lady at The Store laughed at my poodle perm. Can we sue them?

Christopher:

[kygirl]

Loved it- just SO weird you put that- thats what took me so long to respond- I started watching it! Freaky...

Christopher:" Hey, who swithced my meat and potatoes to Lean Cuisine?"

Clayton

[Scarlett]

I (l) it too. I just watched it two nights ago again.

Clayton: I want to go to Andalasia!

Rebecca:

[kygirl]

Rebecca:" Hey, where's my prince?"

Pam

[Scarlett]

Pam: What the heck! There's a redheaded twerp spreading peace and happiness to everyone, singing of true love's kiss. That's MY job!

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" So why did I end up with a toad!"

Miss Ellie

[Scarlett]

Miss Ellie: A lovely little chipmunk told me another ingredient to add to my chili recipe.

Afton:

[kygirl]

Afton:" What? You put chipmunks in your chili? How gross!"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: Ellie, put on your best dress, we're going to a ball.

J.R.:

[kygirl]

JR:" Hey, that evil stepmother is HOT!"

Bobby

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Ooohh an apple, I think I shall sample a slice.

Pamela Rebecca:

[kygirl]

Pam:" Ooohh, look at the pretty glass slipper... I just LOVE new shoes"

Ray

[Scarlett]

Ray: Did someone just come out of that hole in the street? Donna, Donna, let's go down there.

Donna:

[kygirl]

Donna:" Ray, I wouldn't go head first down that man hole"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: Why on earth is everyone singing!

Julie Grey:

[kygirl]

julie:"Thats it! I'm gonna take a cruise and hopefully get shipwrecked on a deserted island!"

Dr Danvers

[Scarlett]

Dr. Danvers: It seems that all of the Ewing women are incapable of carrying a child to term. The Ewing dynasty is rapidly ending.

Gary:

[kygirl]

Gary:" Nah... look here at Valene- we're having twins!!!!"

Dr Elby

[Scarlett]

Dr. Elby: Sue Ellen, how do you get such perfect hair every day?

Liz Craig:

[kygirl]

Liz:" Who is the dumb a^$ who named this 'The Store'?That's like naming my son, 'The Kid'"

Mickey

[Scarlett]

Mickey: How did I get invited to J.R. and Sue Ellen's second wedding? I don't even know them.

Alan Beam:

[kygirl]

Alan:" I have agreed to donate my chest hair and eyebrows to 'Locks of Love' for cancer patients"

Jackie

[Vote4Cliff]

Jackie: Cliff, I am sick of using this old 1970's typewriter, when you will buy me a computer like Sly and Phyllis have over at Ewing Oil?

Cliff:

[kygirl]

Cliff;" But look Jackie, I bought you a new athletic supporter for your birthday"

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Cliff, Aunt Maggie called - she wants you to go over and mow her lawn and fix her leaky faucet and paint the house.

Cliff

[kygirl]

Cliff:" I'm sorry Mandy, but I've chosen a celibate lifestyle and I can no longer sleep with you. By the way, you need to shave your hairy underarms..."

Jock

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Dammit!

Ellie:

[kygirl]

V4C, Jock said that ALL the time!!!:p

Ellie:"Jock, I bought you this nose hair trimmer for your birthday- isn't it great?"

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

oh yeah, sorry, it should be something he DIDN'T say - oops lol

Bobby: F*ck you JR, I'm taking over Ewing Oil and if you try to stop me I'll tear your dick off and shove it down your throat you son of a bitch!

Pam:

[kygirl]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!
Pam:" Uhhh, Bobby, Dr Elby wanted to make sure you were enrolled in the second semester of the Anger management course.."

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Bobby gets a bit mean when he drinks...you've had enough, here let me finish that for you.

Phyllis:

[Scarlett]

Phylis: Who do I see about boss abuse?

Clayton:

[kygirl]

Clayton:" Here Ellie, I bought you this new string bikini from Jenna's boutique"

Sly

[Vote4Cliff]

Sly: Ugh! JR's screen saver is a pic of his mama in a string bikini!

Jackie:

[Scarlett]

Jackie: Oh beans I'm all out of nail polish.

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

LMAO @ scarlett lol good one!

Cliff: I hate that smell - stop painting your nails all the time and do some work around here or I will fire your lazy ass!

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: Cliff, don't talk to Jackie like that. We don't want to lose another employee to Ewing Oil.

Louella:

[kygirl]

Louella:" Uhh, I'm here to apply for the secretarial position- I used to work at Ewing Oil where I made coffee and slept with the boss"

John Ross

[Scarlett]

John Ross: Daddy, can I have a secretary too?

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

John Ross: Teresa, I love you, will you marry me when I grow up?

Christopher:

[kygirl]

Ellie:" look Christopher, I bought you a shotgun, you can store it right next to mine "

Christopher:" Thanks!! "BOOM(silence)

Pam

[Scarlett]

Pam: OOOOHHH MISSS ELLLLLIIEEE NOOOTTT MY BAAAAAABBBBBYYYYY

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:" Oh well, guess I gotta go find another one of JR's illegitimate children to adopt"

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: There goes another heir to the Ewing throne. J.R. and Sue Ellen had better get busy.

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Are you crazy? I am NOT having another child just because Pam is too stupid to teach her two year old about gun safety- i need to protect my figure"

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: I'll have a baby to carry on the Ewing line if you want me to, Jock. (duh)

Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Ellie: Never. A Ewing heir must have a drop of Southworth in him and Ray has none!

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: Ray, honey, you know men can't have babies, right?

JR:

[kygirl]

Donna:" Uhh, Miss Ellie, Aaron Southworth was my Daddy"

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: I'm gonna spend a quiet evening at home with my family.

Bobby:

[kygirl]

bobby:"C'mon Pam, lets go watch mud wrestling!"

Pam

[Scarlett]

Pam: I'd rather go down to Long Horn bar with Ray, but you have fun.

Lucy:

[kygirl]

Lucy:" You mean your not gonna watch my wrestling debut Pam?"

Clayton

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: I tried to go into the horse cutting business with Ray, but he was so damn stupid he used our money to buy a herd of llamas instead of horses.

Donna:

[kygirl]

Donna:" Wow, where can I get a turban like that, Sue Ellen?"

Sue Ellen

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: I had blind seamstresses make it for me.

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam:" Happy Birthday Jock- I bought you a girdle and a man- purse !"

Bobby

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Jenna, can I have a paternity test for Charlie?

Lucas Krebbs: