They Didn't Say That

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: We always made fun of him growing up because he had horse hair on his clothes and he smelled like horse poo all the time.

Garry:

[Kimmekap]

Garry: Not Banjo! Banjo? How could Ray? Banjo was saving it for our wedding night...

Teresa

[Vote4Cliff]

Teresa: These loco Ewings boys play with horse, not girl, very strange!

Raoul:

[Kimmekap]

Raoul: Banjo was telling me the same thing too as loco Garry... Verdadera Puta!!!!

Jock

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: I am tired of sitting here at the table all the time. Switch with me, Bobby.

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: Can he switch with you in the bedroom too???

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Sure, I'm up for a change. Jock, would you mind bedding down with me tonight?

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: Oh, so I get stuck with Sue Ellen again... Damn!

Sue Ellen

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Not tonight JR, I promised Raoul- I'm in the mood for a little la Bamba"

Dusty

[Vote4Cliff]

Dusty: Suellen, can I join you and Raoul? I've always wanted to experience a threesome!

JR:

[kygirl]

JR:" Thats it!!! I've never had a threesome, now some dumb cowboy and an illegal are gettin' freaky with my missus. LUcy, Teresa, meet me by the pool at 10 o'clock!"

Lucy

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: Hell no JR, neither of us is that desperate. Call your ho-on-call Serena.

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:" Uhhh, you're out of luck. I heard she got a new job with 1-900- Dial- a -ho working for Aunt Lil. But hey, I think Jenna's around somewhere. And you can always count on Merilee Stone for a little freaky action"

Jenna

[Vote4Cliff]

Jenna: JR, me and Merilee is better than what Bobby will be having tonight...his MAMA!!!????

Ellie:

[Scarlett]

Ellie: (To the Dallas reporters): Oh yes, please come in, make yourself at home.

Julie Grey:

[kygirl]

Julie:looking down her list" JR..check, Jock..check, Cliff...check, must be Bobby's turn"

Jock

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: No fair Julie! We just talked and held hands, it wasn't a full "check"!

JR:

[kygirl]

JR:"Thats my fault Daddy. When she wouldn't give me any action, I borrowed your blue suit and cologne and snuck in late one night."

Ellie

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ellie: Jock, can we go to the hayloft?? I wanna do what Ray and Lucy have been doing

Jock:

[kygirl]

Jock:" Only if you wear your new line of ellie's edible underwear.(after taking a bite) yum, my favorite- chili flavored!"

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Mama wearing her own senior lingerie line's chili-flavored edible bloomers? Suellen, I need Dr. Elby's number!!

Harve Smithfield:

[JazzMan]

Harve: Better get my Dr. Elby's number also... I just ate the bloomers and they were delicious!

Dr. Elby:

[kygirl]

DR Elby:" We have a serious problem. I purchased a pair of Ellie's Edible Underwear labled the 'Sue Ellen Special'. Yep, you guessed it, it was booze flavored!"

Cliff

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Why would anyone buy edible underwear - what a waste of good money since you can't wash them and wear them over and over again...I've had the same underwear since college!

Afton:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Afton: Cliff, I think it's time you bought new undies....I hate washing them

Ellie:

[JazzMan]

Ellie: :sosad: I can't seem to find my dirty laundry basket :sosad:

Teresa:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Teresa: I hid the laundry basket, it's time the Ewings went and bought some new clothes!!!

Raoul:

[kygirl]

Raoul ( munching away) : Now that they all wear Miss Eliie's Edible underwear, there just isn't much laundry to do. We have more time of Teresa!"

Jock

[Kimmekap]

Jock: Who ate the strawberry flavored underwear? Damn it! I wanted them for dessert tonight...

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Sorry daddy, I made Suellen put them on since I fancied a snack...

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: Why doesn't anybody eat the prune flavored ones? They are just as good...

Pam

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: I dont' think anyone needs a pile driver, Miss Ellie

Sue Ellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: Can I get a pair of vodka flavored panties...

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: I wore mine to work and they eventually disintegrated during the day. I don't think they are very high quality underwears mama! (duh!!!)

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Miss Ellie, did you drop Bobby on his head as a child? He is fairly retarded...

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Bobby you dumb ass you are supposed to put them on your woman then eat them off, then eat...aw, nevermind.

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Miss Ellie, I know our families don't get along but could I get a pair of soy sauce underwear??? For free?

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: I will make you some soy sauce underwear, Cliff, but you will have to pay full price for them.

Afton:

[one mighty hobble]

Afton: I already paid that price Miss Ellie, it's my choice whether or not to give them up

Cliff

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: I sent a secret Valentine to JR!

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: I know, it was covered in soy sauce...

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: I hope Nick bangs me up against the wall today for Valentine's Day!

Pam:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: I hope Alex comes buy and decides he want "to eat out" today, :p

Alex:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Alex: I hope I can get both you girls banged up against a wall tonight..

Bobby:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Bobby: Mama, J.R's trying to wear my speedos again, he's going to stretch them out of shape!!

J.R.:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Shut up you tiny tallywackered tattletale!

Ellie:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Ellie: Jock! Come over here and teach the boys not to fuss over garments!

Jock:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ellie: Now that's enough J.R., if you played with Bobby's pee-pee more then it wouldn't be so small compared to yours!!!!

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Dammit Ellie! Playing with a pee pee doesn't make it grow bigger you dumb woman!

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: That's right, sometimes even sucking on it won't make it grow, just ask Cliff!! :p

Cliff:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Cliff: - Yes it does - look at Kristen!

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: Ray I am happy with your size just the way it is.

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: Ok, Donna, then rub this cold cream on my nads, it'll take the wrinkles out

Donna:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Ray: - What?????? You´ve SEEN MINE?????????????????

J.R:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

lol lol lol What the Devil! We´re chattering like a bunch of ladies here Mickey! lol lol lol

Please, ignore my post and continue, I have to go "make some supper here ya´ know".. (Or whatever Ray would´ve said..)

[kygirl]

Donna- " I like wrinkles Ray, why do you think I stayed with Sam?"

Julie Grey

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna- " I like wrinkles Ray, why do you think I stayed with Sam?"

GROAN!!! OMG another really, really bad one kygirl lol

Julie Grey: Cliff reminds me a little bit of Gilligan

Jackie:

[Kimmekap]

Jackie: Cliff reminds me of... Well, a cheap little bastard... That's all I got!

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Jackie, don't say such things about my brother. He is secretly in love with you!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Jackie, I got a piece of licorice for you... Lower, no lower, lower, no lower, right there! No, not there! That's my wallet..

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Hi, is Pam ready for lunch...uh, Jackie what are you doing on your knees with Cliff's wallet in your mouth?

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Some weird midget sex game CLiff likes to play with Jackie... Just ignore it! They are freaks... Are we still on for our threesome with your mom tonight?

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Mama, what do you mean you can't be with Suellen and I tonight, you already promised a threesome to Bobby and Pam? Not fair! You love him more!!

Sly:

[Kimmekap]

Sly: JR, your daddy is on line 2... Said it is his turn tonight with you & Sue Ellen. Code bring nurse outfit for him to wear??? What does that mean???

Phyllis

[Vote4Cliff]

Phyllis: Don't even ask, Sly! These Ewings are really kinky!

Dora Mae:

[Kimmekap]

Dora Mae: Here you go Mr. Ewing, your steak & potatoes... When Miss Ellie is done under the table with you, tell her swordfish is here too...

Cliff

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Dora Mae! Dora Mae! Oh, there you are! Yeah, well I wanted to ask you if you followed up with the chef about having some chinese added to the menu? Huh? Did you? I asked you twice, Dora Mae! Where's the manager? I want to talk to the OB Club manager!!

Jamie:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jamie: Cliff, Dora Mae doesn't have to talk to the chef, the OB doesn't have to change it's menu

Dora Mae:

[Vote4Cliff]

Dora Mae: Thank you Jamie. Here are some coupons for the all-you-can eat Chinese buffet across the street, please get him out of here before I punch him.

Cassie:

[kygirl]

Cassie:" Where's the beef?

Hutch McKinney

[Vote4Cliff]

Hutch McKinney: I've fallen and I can't get up! Oh, wait - I'm dead!

Rebecca Wentworth:

[kygirl]

Rebecca:" Hey Clayton, I just bought these new undies for you to wear, from Miss Ellie's Edible Underwear line. They're licorice flavored. Trust me, it will be an eye opening experience"

Clayton

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: Are they red twizzler flavor licorice or yucky black flavor licorice?

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby: (crying at breakfast to JR)" I thought Momma had made some new Tuna flavored undies for Pammy.... until I got to the elastic wasteband...bawawawawa!!!"

Lucy

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: Bobby you are so gross! Its a wonder I grew up normal living in this house!

Jock:

[kygirl]

Jock: "I don't know why you're complaining so Lucy, seeing as Miss ellie gave Mitch those lo llipop flavoried drawers for your honeymoon."

miss ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: I am so happy my lingerie is selling so well! Perhaps I will branch out into men's edible underwear next!

JR

[kygirl]

JR:" And what flavor will you try first, Momma?"

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: How about peppermint, spearmint, wintermint to start with so the woman will have fresh breath when she's done eating them off the man!

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: Bobby, why can't you be more like your brother?

Lucy:

[kygirl]

Lucy:" Hmmm... You know Miss Ellie, I think a logical flavor would be 'Beefsteak'- this being a cattle ranch and all. But I sure do like the idea of having fresh breath. then maybe Mitch would finally kiss me when I'm done."

Jock

[Scarlett]

Jock: Lucy what is all of this yammering about 'flavors'? I tell you, you kids and your new stuff, I can't keep up with it.

Mark Graison:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mark Graison: I'm proud of Miss Ellie for starting her own line of lingerie and edible underwear! She's quite a gal!

Pam:

[kygirl]

Hi Scarlett! :)

Mark:" Looks like I'll be the main attraction in the new Dallas DvDs coming out, as well as the Season 13 extras"


Pam:" Does that mean I'm in it too?"
Bobby

[Scarlett]

:hello:

Bobby: Pam you know the rules, Uncle Lenny hates women, and that's why you, mamma, Sue Ellen, Donna, April, and Lucy will never make the cover art.

Angelica Nero:

[Vote4Cliff]

Angelica Nero: If this is true, why does Mandy Winger have like 500 cover shots?

NEEK-O-LAS:

[kygirl]

Nicholas:" Why don't I get to sqeeze pamela's melons?"

Peedduurr

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Peedduurr: - Why don´t I get to squeeze YOU Nick?

Cally:

[kygirl]

Cally:" Living on a ranch is beneath me"

Clayton

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Clayton: - Would you like a spanking Miss Ellie?

Dusty:

[Vote4Cliff]

Dusty: Dad, why are you always wanting to spank everyone? I think you have anger management issues!

Suellen:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Sue Ellen: - Dayum!!! I love his lack of anger managment! Cheers all!

J.R:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: I am going to have my office re-decorated in pink with a rosebud wallpaper border.

Sly:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Sly: - Go do something to yourself Miss Ellie!!

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: I am getting tired of my pale blue suit, I'm gonna have some more made - in peach, mint green, and butter yellow!

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: Great! Daddy's gonna look like a gay cowboy or a Easter with a hat on...

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Then can I have your old pale blue suit, daddy? I'm having a hard time finding a new woman now that Pammy is gone, and maybe if I cruise the clubs in your "lucky suit" my luck will change!

Suellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: Let me do your hair & make up Bobby, I'm sure you will meet a great woman if I help you...

Miss Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: Bobby, Rebecca Wentworth isn't seeing anyone, you know she is widow and a very nice lady...would you like her phone number?

Rebecca:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Rebecka: - No way, Ellie, am I going with that sack ´o ´potatoes! Oh no!

Jock:

[kygirl]

Jock:" I've decided to sell Ewing Oil and become a Yoga instructor"

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Daddy, how are you gonna do yoga? You aren't very limber or flexible, at least thats what mama tells us.

Bobby:

[JazzMan]

Booby: I can do yoga...I"m quite limber...that's how I pleasure myself while Pam's divorcing me.

Pam:

[one mighty hobble]

Pam: That's what Mark does too. It's amazing how long I can put two men on hold while I go off to think.

Mark

[Mickey Fairgate]

Mark: Pam, you can't think, being up on that roof blew all of the air into your head, that's why you're an airhead now!!!

Pam:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Pam: - I´m da´biggest airhead in Texas!

J.R:

[kygirl]

JR:" Now that Daddy sold Ewing Oil, I guess I need somthin' else to do. I'm goin' to open my own Tae Kwon Do studio"

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: JR, I thought you always wanted to open an Adult Book & Movie store?

Ellie:

[kygirl]

Ellie:" Well, he would if Bobby already hadn't done so. In fact, Bobby has agreed to carry my Edible Underwear line. "

Pam

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Bobby, why would you open an adult store like that? Its shameful and besides, you and I don't like sex that much, since we rarely make love!

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:" You're right Pam. I want to become a preist"

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: Come on over to my place, Pam, I'll make you start enjoying sex again!

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam:" Been there, done that"

Kristen

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Kristen: - I´ll help with the Edible sack dress business Miss Ellie..

Lucy:

[kygirl]

Lucy:" hurry home grandma, dynasty is on tonight"

Teresa

[Mickey Fairgate]

Teresa: Jock is much better in bed then Blake Carrington ever could be....Blake won't even doggie me, that's why Jock is my man

Ellie:

[kygirl]

Ellie:" Silly Teresa, that's not Jock, that's Punk in Jock's blue suit. He always is in the mood for a little 'macarena"

Bobby

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Hey Pammy, turn on the TV, I'm doing an Irish Spring commercial.

Aunt Maggie Monahan:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Aunt Maggie Monahan: Yeeee- Haaaw!!

Digger:

[kygirl]

Digger:" Hey Cliff, isn't that Bobby in that Irish Spring commercial, back from the dead?"
(Scarlett, that was CLASSIC!!)

Raoul

[Kimmekap]

Rauol: Senor Jock, I can't find your blue suit... I believe Senor Ray has it again. Do you want me to get the shotgun out of the closet, Senor?

Teresa

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Teresa: - No, No, Raoul, let Mama Teresa get that bastard!!!

Jock:

[Kimmekap]

Jock: Better yet! Rauol, get me Miss Ellie's horse whip...

Ray

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Ray: - Now, people! Let´s solve this by talking it through instead of brute force!

Gary:

[Kimmekap]

Gary: Come on Ray, you can hide out in Knots Landing... Just don't let me catch you wearing one of Valene's sun dresses...

Donna

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Donna: - Dayumn!!! J.R´s SEXY!!!

Sam Culver:

[Kimmekap]

Sam Culver: He sure is... He looks FFFABBBB-UUU-LLLLOUSSSS in a thong too girlfriend...

Dave Culver

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Dave Culver: - Hey Donna! Show us some :grrr:!

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: Dave, you bad boy. Come here to your step mama and drop those drawers for a good hard spanking!

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Dave, you know the rules... No payee, No playee...

Ray: Doesn't Dave get a family discount?

Miss Ellie

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

lol lol lol

Miss Ellie: - Come over here and buy a coupon boys! She won´t do nuthin´fer free ´ya know!

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Miss Ellie: All this spanking talk has got me horny as hell, I'm calling Punk, I bet he could redden my bottom pretty well!

Punk:

[Kimmekap]

Punk: Let me finish with Jock first, then it will be your turn Ellie...

Mavis

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Mavis: - Let´s Slam Dunk Tha´Funk, Punk!

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Uh Bobby, why is Punk spanking your daddy?

Bobby

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Bobby: - Nevermind that honey, let´s just join in while we can!

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: No, the spanking is for adults only! Go play with JR, Bobby.

JR:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R.: I don't want to play with Bobby, he always uses his teeth and my **** can't take it

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Shut up, JR. You know that never happened you liar!

Pam

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Pam: You are both good biters...

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Digger liked it when I would naw on his...

Katherine

*I'm laughing so hard from these I can barely type...

[Vote4Cliff]

Katherine: JR always takes out his dentures and takes of his toupee before sex, so i didn't ever have to worry about getting bit.

Holly Harwood

[Kimmekap]

Holly Hardwood: I liked it when JR kept his dentures in during sex. I liked the clicking sound they made when he was going at it...

Sue Ellen

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sue Ellen: Jock and J.R. used to have "snapping" contests with their dentures, to see who could "snap" at my ***** the most....J.R. ususally won!!!

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: Yeah JR may win now but Jock could out "snap" the best of them in the good ole' days...

Pam

[kygirl]

Pam:" Miss Ellie, Digger told me you liked his dentures..."

Aunt Maggie

[Mickey Fairgate]

Aunt Maggie: Back in the day, Ellie and I would make Jock "snap out" both of us.....we stopped when Digger caught us one time, and that was the top off of the whiskey bottle, Digger never was sober again!!

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: I don't understand why all you women want teeth around such a sensitive area??

Bobby:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Bobby: - Daddy, it´s different when you can actually feel the teeth.. I understand that you couln´t relate..

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: Why would anyone want to use teeth on something like that??

Donna:

[JazzMan]

Donna: Don't know. That's why Sam would never let me. He would take out his teeth and make me watch how he doubled over and made himself happy.

Sam:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Sam: - They were not my teeth sugar, they were my mother´s.. She was really good at it!

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: I have told Mickey time and again to watch those teeth of his when he's going down on me, they're like a razor!!

Mickey:

[JazzMan]

Mickey: Jes**s...when the light's out Ray can't tell the difference between my teeth and Kit's.

Kit:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Kit: - Ray´s teeth are soo crooked, ha ha!

Lucy:

[Kimmekap]

Lucy: I just feel around for Ray's crooked teeth or Mickey's unibrow to see who I'm with. Try that next time Kit...

Bobby

[kygirl]

Bobby:" You know, come to think of it, Jenna is really annoying. What was I thinking?"

Charlie

[Scarlett]

Charlie: What do you mean I'm an annoying ripoff of Half Pint from Little House on the Prairie?

Katherine Wentworth:

[JazzMan]

Katherine Wentworth: I sure wish my part was played by someone who can ACT!!!!

Cassie:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Cassie: - I wish you´d all jes´shaddapp!

April:

[kygirl]

April:" Man, I wish I'd been on this show when it was good"

Cliff

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Cliff: - Man, I wish I´d been good on this show!

Pam:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: I wish I had gotten out before Bobby got shot and they had the fake Miss Ellie

Miss Ellie:

[kygirl]

Miss Ellie:" Man, I wished I'd gone down with Jock on that plane"

Jock

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Jock: - Man, I wish I´d get to wear some of those sack dresses..

Teresa:

[Vote4Cliff]

Teresa: Man, I wish I got to wear something other than that ugly uniform, even one of Miss Ellie's sack dresses would have beena nice change!

James Beaumont:

[Mickey Fairgate]

James Beaumont: I really like wearing these high heel shoes, I hope Cally doesn't mind me wearing them!!

Cally:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cally: James your big feet are stretching them out!! Go borrow a pair of your dad's high heels if you want to play dress up and leave mine alone!

Vanessa Beaumont:

[kygirl]

Vanessa:" And what am I supposed to be doing on this show?"

Marilee

[JazzMan]

Marilee: Well Vanessa, if nothing else then come by for a skinny dip later tonight.

Maynard Anderson:

[kygirl]

Maynard:" I'm so glad my wife found out about Jenna. While she was fun while I was with her, I hear later on she becomes a real whiny pest!"

Charlie Wade

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Charlie Wade: - Man I wish I´d never slept with that idiot who played J.R..

J.R:

[one mighty hobble]

JR: Little girl, you're delusional. You slept with an idiot who likes being a tagalong on child buying trips out of the country.

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: Hey Donna! Have you seen my "Hooked on Phonics" reader anywhere?

Aunt Maggie:

[kygirl]

LOL!!!!!V4C!!!!
Aunt Maggie:" Sorry Ray, Digger borrowed your 'Hooked on Phonics' when he was recovering from his last bender"

Aunt Lil

[Vote4Cliff]

Aunt Lil: Ray, let's practice your alphabet like we used to do when you were in high school...ready, A...B...C...

Donna:

[kygirl]

Donna:" Aunt Lil, if you've got the 'hooked on Phonics' i can concentrate on Ray's math. Look Ray, I bought you 'Sesame Street's Lets Count with the Count"

Lucy

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: Ok, this is scaring the crap out of me. I am going to start going to school every damn day so I don't end up like my nitwit uncle!

Miss Ellie:

[kassidy_katherine]

Ellie: Lucy, I hate to break it to ya, but it runs on both sides of the family. It's worse on the Southworth side...we forget things easily. Why do you think I married my Aunt Myrtle's son, Jock?

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: What the HELL are you talking about, Mavis? Uh, Maggie. Uh, Margaret. Uh, Lil. Whatever your name is, dammit!

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ellie: See, we can't remember a damn thing....I think J.R. is actually Digger's, but I can't swear to it

J.R.:

[JazzMan]

JR: Digger who?

Digger:

[kygirl]

Digger:" OMG!! Next thing you'll know, Bobby will have forgotten he's married Pammy, Jock would have forgotten our oil deals, and Ellie would have forgotten all the long, glorious nights we had together"

Bobby

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Who's Jenna Wade?

Sue Ellen:

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Ray? Whose Ray? I'm SURE I didn't spend a glorious, passion-filled night with him"

Donna

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Ray, who haven't you "slept" with?

Mickey

[kygirl]

Mickey:" Well, Ray hasn't slept with me. I just get his sloppy seconds. And, as a matter of fact, Donna, you're next on my list..."

JR

[Kimmekap]

JR: How does that half breed, Ray, get all that "tail" without paying for it?

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:" JR, have you seen the size of his package? Let's just say he couldn't have inherited that from Daddy"

Pam

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Well Ray is not nearly as big as Cliff... Cliff can hammer a 3 inch spike through a 2x4with his...

Sue Ellen

[kygirl]

Sue Ellen:" Oooohhh, thats true- we tried it...I mean, that's what I've heard, you know, from Afton. He must have inherited that from HIS daddy"

Ellie

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Uh, Pamela, how on earth would you know how big Cliff's...thing...is?

Cliff:

[kygirl]

Cliff:" Who d'ya think put up Aunt Maggie's fence?"

Ellie

[one mighty hobble]

Ellie: Cliff, I hear you swing a hammer pretty damn good...

Cliff

[Mickey Fairgate]

Cliff: Come here Miss Ellie, and I'll hammer you til you see stars!!!!

J.R.:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Barnes, you better keep that thing away from my mama or I'll rip it off and shove it down your throat!

Sly:

[kygirl]

Sly:" Are you jealous JR?"

Mandy

[one mighty hobble]

Mandy: Hmmm, memories of those nights in the "workshop" keep me going, Cliff.

Cliff

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Cliff: Who is this loser staring at me?

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam:" Had I known Jock was only going to last a few more years, I woulda married him instead"

Miss Ellie

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Miss Ellie: - Let´s get some pizza!

Claytooon:

[kygirl]

Clayton:' Miss Ellie, your chili is giving me gas"

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Oh no, I tried to give myself highlights but accidentally turned my hair orange! How can I to work like this!

Pam:

[kygirl]

Pam:" Just match this shirt to your hair. No one will ever notice"

Sly

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Sly: Who do I have to sleep with around here, to get a decent cup of coffee?

Garr:

[Vote4Cliff]

Garr: Which one am I the skinny small one or the fat creepy one? I always forget?

Phyllis

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Phyllis: - You could be either, I like you both!

Kristen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Kristen: Oh Alan, I love your unibrow and your disgustingly hairy body! Let's run away together and make me Mrs. Kristen Sheperd-Beam!

Lucy

[kygirl]

Lucy:" Can someone tell me why I was written into this script, only to get crappy storylines, written out, brought back and ultimately dissappear with no known reason for being in the first place?"

JR

[Scarlett]

J.R.: Gee, Dynasty beat us this week in the ratings, why don't we copy their style and have a glamorized season with ballgowns and tuxedos, and big hair and dancing?

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Maybe if I sported one of these trendy new mullet haircuts it would boost ratings?

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Why don't I go away for a while and come back? Pam can have some kind of nightmare, I'll return and we'll be number one again.

Michelle Stevens:

[one mighty hobble]

Michelle: I'm going to be a nun like Mama always wanted.

Jackie

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jackie: "Cliff, I wish you wouldn't make me put soy sauce on it, I gag enough just trying to go down on you"

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: Gee, maybe I really am cheap.

Mandy:

[kygirl]

mandy (singing in the shower):" You know I'm BAD, I'm Bad' you know it...."

Kristen

[JazzMan]

You think YOU'RE bad? How'd you like to be queen bitch with crossed-eyes AND Bing's daughter???


Katherine:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Katherine: - Hey! Who wants to come with me to a hip rave party, sporting all drugs invented and then some?

Digger:

[Vote4Cliff]

Digger: Dang. I puked on my good shoes again.

Cliff:

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Cliff: - C´mon old geezer, time to go back to "the Home"..

Ellie:

[one mighty hobble]

Ellie: I'll take you home, Willard. I have some shoes that need spit polishing.

Digger

[Vote4Cliff]

Digger: I'm sorry Ellie, I guess I just had a little bit...too much...to...BLAAGUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

JR

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

J.R: - If you´re gonna spew - spew into this! (Holds out his hat)

Digger:

[Scarlett]

Digger: What song would y'all like me to sing at the next Ewing Barbeque?

Pammy:

[Kimmekap]

Pammy: Anything by "50" or Eminem would be great daddy... There are so romantic!

Bobby

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Do you know "Somewhere Over the Rainbow?" thats one of Lucy's favorites.

Suellen

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: Yeah Dorothy, I mean Bobby... Then why do you have Dorothy's costume & dress up like her every Halloween...

JR

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Yeah, and he's been begging mama to get a little dog that he can name Toto so he wont have to carry around that stuffed one

Pam

[kygirl]

Pam:" I thought thats why miss Ellie bought the porcelein dog?"

Sue Ellen

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: For your information, Shop Girl, Miss Ellie stole the porcelain dog from WalMart.

Bobby:

[JazzMan]

Bobby: I'm gonna smash the F**KING porcelain dog into a F***KING thousand F**KING pieces!!! Now point me to Kit, Mickey, and the LollyPop Guild!!!!

Mickey:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Mickey: Oh, Bobby, from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I was glad to be gay, you're my kind of man!!! Now kiss me, you gorgeous hunk of man!!!

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: No wait, first put on his cowardly lion costume!

Ray

[Scarlett]

Bobby: B-B-B-U-U-U-T-T-T I'm committed to Pamela.

Gary Ewing:

[Scarlett]

Ray: Guess it's time to shovel manure.

Jackie:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Gary: Oh, Bobby, go for it, I was much happier when I let my gay side come out to play, just ask Michael Fairgate, after he turned 18!!!!

Valene:

[Scarlett]

Valene: Gary, are you ashamed of me?

Sue Ellen:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sue Ellen: You know, ever since Scarlett came to Southfork to help Teresa with the housekeeping.....I can never find my Playgirl magazines, I think she swipes them for her alone-time

J.R.:

[Scarlett]

Mickey that was a low shot lol

J.R.: I'll destroy that Mickey Fairgate the next time he speaks badly of my Scarlett, she's a real darlin'.

Sue Ellen:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sue Ellen: Never mind, it wasn't Scarlett who swiped my Playgirls, it was Lucy, damnit, she's got them stashed all in her room, we've got money, she can get her own subscription.

J.R.:

[kygirl]

JR:" Just as long as no one looks under the mattress for my Payboys.... I can't wait to see this month's centerfold..."

Mickey

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: Scarlett doesn't need playgirls she's got the real thing - ME! oops, did I say that out loud Suellen?

Suellen:

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: J.R., are you having an affair with one of the SoapChatters again?

Mandy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mandy: JR, first I have to share your attention with SE and now all these SoapChatter tramps! boo hooo hoooo

Cliff:

[kygirl]

Cliff( singing) " Oh Mandy, you came and you stopped me from...and they sent you away Oh Mandy..."

Afton

[Scarlett]

lol Good call Kygirl. :)

Afton: *Slaps Cliff*, Hey China man, I'm the only singer around these parts.

Julie Grey:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Julie Grey: J.R. only wanted me for my body, he didn't care about my typing and shorthand.....that's why I kept copies of the redfile, I knew I'd get even someday

J.R.:

[Scarlett]

J.R.: What Julie doesn't know is that there are dozens of 'red files' hanging around, none of them legit. The real one I have safe in a 'lock box'.

Tracey Lawton:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Tracey Lawton: Alright, if Bobby wants to call me Pam while we're doing it I guess I'll have to let him...but only if he pays me

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby:Tracey wants me to pay her 1.25 billion dollars to stay with her...I think we just broke up.

Jordan Lee: