They Didn't Say That

[Scarlett]

Katherine: I love you Pammy, you're the best sister ever.

Louella:

[Vote4Cliff]

Louella: I will put some love potion in JR's coffee so he will leave Suellen and marry me!

Ray Krebbs:

[Scarlett]

Ray Krebbs: Maybe I should get a secretary too, Bobby and J.R. have so much fun with Sly and Phyllis. I wonder if Bonnie is looking for work.

Sam Culver:

[Vote4Cliff]

Sam Culver: I recommend it, Ray. I hired Donna and ended up marrying her!

Jackie:

[Scarlett]

Jackie: Shoot, ever since J.R. proposed to Sly and Bobby proposed to Phyllis, Cliff has been looking at me like a love sick puppy and I can't bear it any longer. I quit!

Liz Craig:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Liz Craig: "Pam, do you think we could get your sister-in-law Sue Ellen to come to work for us?"

Pam:

Why did they move us?? lmao, was we that naughty??, :D

[Scarlett]

Pam: The Ewings and Barnes should have an Ultimate Fighting Championship to see who should control Ewing Oil.

Arliss Cooper:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Arliss: "The reason Mitch married Lucy is because I pushed him into it, I want a new house, new car, new clothes, new jewelry, and a big fat bank account"

Mitch:

[Kimmekap]

Mitch: I married Lucy out of pure love... Sike, I'm just f*ckin' with you... Of course I married for money & to become the top male supermodel student future plastic surgeon...

Afton:

[Scarlett]

Afton: Mitch married Lucy out of desperation, he was the only single left among his friends and he was lonely, he would have married anyone.

Lucy:

[Kimmekap]

Lucy: Mitch, Kit called he's not gay anymore. Think we can get a quickie divorce in Mexico by tonight...

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Pam, I want a divorce. Phyllis has stolen my heart.

Jackie:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jackie: "Barnes/Wentworth, go away now"

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Jackie, would you stop answering the phone like that. And stop painting your nails in here, too. That stinks.

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Sorry Pam, it was me. I was painting my fingernails again. Don't you just love this color, it's Passion Pink...

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: I just can't do business with a man who has pink fingernails!!

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Shut up JR, Cliff looks fierce--BEEEAAACHHH!!!

Sue Ellen:

[Scarlett]

Sue Ellen: I find pink fingernails very attractive on a man.

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: Ray is a real man. He doesn't paint his fingernails!

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: I ain't wearing no pink nail polish... I'm more of a goth girl...

Mickey:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Mickey: "All of you straight people get on my nerves"!!!

Aunt Lil:

[Kimmekap]

Aunt Lil': Me too, come on Mickey... Let's hit the gay bar tonight. Momma needs a little butch action...

Afton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Afton: Oh no Cliff, that wasn't shampoo - you just washed your hair with my blonde haircolor!!

Pam:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: "Kimme, how many time do I have to tell you not to iron my dresses? Must I have Scarlett and V4C keep their eye on you every minute!!!"

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: Whew! I'm hot. I'm gonna turn this sack dress into a midriff shirt, where's my pocket knife...

Digger:

[Scarlett]

Digger: Mark Graison stole my daughter from me!

Jerry Kenderson:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jerry: "Mark, I don't know how to tell you this...you caught terminal Red Bitch Syndrome from Pam...there's nothing we can do, you'll be dead probably in about 8 months"

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Mark, you are gonna die in 8 months. Hold that thought... Jackie, can you get Bobby on the phone for me & tell him I'm free for tonight....

Cliff:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Cliff, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, Pam's going back to my secret boyfriend!!

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Crap, Mark is dying... Now who am I gonna ask to the Oil Baron's Prom?

JR:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R.: Why don't you ask Cliff to the Ball

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: No JR, I can't go the ball with you. I know you are only out for one thing & I don't put out on the first date...

Afton:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: I don't like the way the roosters and the hens are getting all mixed up in this town!!

Jock:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jock: "Scarlett, where did Miss Ellie put my golf clubs, she always wants to hide them from me"

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: There right here in the closet next to the shotgun.. CLICK

Teresa:

[ncpryor56]

Ellie: Jock you are confused...it was my second husband that played golf. You always play board games. The Chinese checkers are on the patio. We can play right after lunch.

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: Tell me the truth Ellie, who is better at Chinese Checkers -Jock or me??

JR:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R: Clayton, you'll never be as good as my Daddy, now sit your ass down at the table and let me beat you"

Clayton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Clayton: I would never play with you JR, you cheat. Go play with yourself!

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: I'm playing with myself, what do I do next?

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Bobby, you better stop that. You're gonna go blind!

Aunt Maggie:

[Kimmekap]

Aunt Maggie: Digger played with himself so much he became an alcoholic with carpal tunnel syndrome...

Aunt Lil"

[Vote4Cliff]

Aunt Lil: Oh, you should have seen Raymond! He was at it non-stop and his mama sent him to SF figuring the hard work would distract him!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Aunt Maggie, do you have any ointment? I'm chaffed again...

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Cliff, could you go up to your room or to the bathroom or someplace and do that? Its embarrassing when I bring friends over and you're here!

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: Look here! I'm so good at it, I can switch hands & gain a stroke...

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: JR, between THAT and all the women that you're with, you're gonna break it!

Miss Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: Oh Lucy, don't worry. We have plenty of duct tape if that happens...

Jock:

**OK, ya'll have fun tonight. Gotta start getting ready to head out... BYE MY BAD BUDDIES...

[ncpryor56]

Jock: Miss Ellie stop encouraging these heathen children. Pay attention here I am about to beat you again at Chinese checkers.

Teresa:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Teresa: "Damn, I wish NCPryor hadn't given J.R. that Cod Liver Oil....he's stinking up the place real bad, and I don't look forward to cleaning it up"

Raoul:

[Scarlett]

Raoul: Word in the servant's quarters is that DDD is doing business with Westar Oil AND Ewing Oil.

Carmen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Carmen: DDD is just trying to beautify Dallas, which is a worthy cause! I just wonder what they can do to make Jeremy Wendelll @ Westar look better?

Sly:

[Kimmekap]

Sly: It is so great working in a wholesome Christian environment...

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Hold my calls, Phyllis. I need some quiet time for prayer.

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: I've decided to censor all smutty talk or actions around this office. I would hate to offend the good citizens of this community...

Ray:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: Forgive me father, for I have sinned...I slept with my niece in the hayloft, although I didn't know I was her uncle at the time. Still, it was wrong and I am sorry.

Miss Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Miss Ellie: Line up children, time to take your spanking for being bad today... 3 lashes for bad talk & 4 lashes for bad thoughts...

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: And you're all going to bed without dinner, dammit!

Teresa:

[Kimmekap]

Teresa: Oh Senor Jock, you not happy. Por favor, the food no eat by children? Can I have? Oh no Senor Jock, I can't!! I'm married & cheating at Southfork would never happen...

Rauol:

[Vote4Cliff]

Raoul: Senor Jock, Teresa is my wife, and we do not do that. Only for procreation, no for fun.

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: Just "us" goody two shoes in here now...

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Cliff asked us over to watch the SuperBowl at his condo; you get the beer and I'll bring the chips!

Cliff:

[ncpryor56]

Bobby: I don't know how this happened. I was away from Southfork just a few hours and when I return it is like PTL or TBN around here. Praise The Lord!!!!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Now Bobby, you know I don't drink or swear or sleep with married women or cheat or scheme. I'm good censored boy...

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Hurry up and help John Ross tie his tie, JR! We're going to be late for mass!

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: Oh yes.. We need to hurry. I'm teaching Sunday school this week on remaining pure of heart...

Afton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Afton: Come on, Cliff, hurry up, we'll be late for mass and I am singing Ave Maria this week!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Sorry Afton, I'm Baptist. Can't go...

Rebecca:

[Vote4Cliff]

Rebecca: Cliff, how could Digger have raised you Baptist instead of Catholic! Now you will burn in hell.

Bobby:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Bobby: I wonder if I wear a purple neckerchief, if Pam will say anything?

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Bobby, I don't think that neckerchief matches your outfit, I wish you'd consider making a different selection, honey.

JR:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R.: Bobby, you should wear either "TP" or "CR", those are the colors us Ewing boys always wear

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: I had a drinking problem at one time, but my family supported me and we prayed about it and now I am cured! Amen! Hallalujia!

Lucy:

[Kimmekap]

Lucy: Scientology saved me from pills... Thank you Tom Cruise...

Mitch

[Mickey Fairgate]

Lucy: Sue Ellen, that's a load of S*** and you know it"

J.R.:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mitch: I am proud of you, Lucy! Scientology has made our marriage stronger than ever! I love you!

JR: Mama, thank you for being such a wonderful mother. I love you!

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Oh, I love the way the Ewings are living now... It is so boring & peaceful..

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Dammit! We're not gonna stay on TV very long if someone in this town doesn't commit some kind of sin! OOps, sorry Ellie. I didn't mean to say dammit.

Ellie:

[Kimmekap]

Ellie: Jock, I'm so disappointed in you... We mustn't use foul language. There may be children around.

JR:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R.: "That's what Dallas has always been about..Sex, Greed, Money and Power"

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: JR! We don't use the "S" word in this house! Go to your room this instant!

Pam:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: That's all J.R. thinks about...but Sue Ellen still hasn't had a baby...go figure

Sue Ellen:

Kimme, how's your cousin??

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Have a nice day!

Donna:

yes kimme - how's he doing?

[Scarlett]

Donna: Let's all hold hands and sing.

Jeremy Wendell:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jeremy: Hi JR! I called to see if you'd like to have lunch with Cliff and me! My treat!

Jackie:

[Scarlett]

Jackie: Cliff, you didn't have to give me eleven dozen roses for Secretary's Day, I love you and Pam so much, I'd work here for free.

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: JR, you are such a wonderful husband & father! Why don't you take the day off work and you, me and John Ross can go on a picnic?

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sue Ellen: I am drinking straight tomato juice, in case anyone wants to know

Ray: It's always so peaceful here on Southfork

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: JR, I made a big batch of my chili, stop by the homeless shelter on your way to work and drop this off.

Sly:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sly: Ewing Oil....I'm sorry, J.R. went to dinner with Sue Ellen, may I take a message"

Phyllis:

[Vote4Cliff]

Phyllis: Ewing Oil...I'm sorry, Bobby went to dinner with Pam, may I take a message"

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: Afton, you deserve better than Chinese dinners every night, let's have a live in cook, like those wonderful Ewings.

Digger Barnes:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Digger: Pam, Cliff, do you know your A B C's??

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: This family makes me so proud and so happy, I think I am going to cry! I love you all so much!

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: J.R., I love you, and I want us to be joint owners of Southfork.

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: JR & Bobby, you are the best uncles ever! Thanks for all the support and encouragement you give me! I am so lucky!

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo, this is good, let's hope those who are out to shut down threads get bored as h*ll with this, lmao

I know I am, I'm ready for us to be naughty again!!

[Vote4Cliff]

No Mickey, these threads are to be kept clean at all times.

Answer quote from Ray

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: Donna, can you make cornbread tonight to go with the chili??

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: Sure, Ray. And maybe after dinner we can play Monopoly.

Jeremy Wendell:

[Kimmekap]

Jeremy Wendell: I'm fat... Sorry, that's all I got right now...

Carter Mc Kay:

[Vote4Cliff]

Carter McKay: Jeremy, you aren't fat! Don't say negative things about yourself. Here, let me give you a big self esteem hug!

April Stevens:

[Kimmekap]

April: I love to breathe in all the fresh air on Southfork at the stables, kinda smells like the air in the house too...

Jenna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jenna: Pam, you can have Bobby. I plan to patch things up with Naldo so he, Charlie and I can live together as a family!

Afton Cooper:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jenna: "I don't care what those in charge say, if I want to raise prices on my items I will"

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

JR: Sorry, we're broke this week at Ewing Oil. My food stamps haven't come in yet..

Cally:

[ncpryor56]

Pam: Jenna I am having my Bible study group over tonight. Would you like to come?

Charlie:

[Kimmekap]

Charlie: Oh, think I will start a young Republicans group tonight. *YAWN*

Bobby:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Bobby: "I don't want to live in Dallas anymore, I'm moving to Wisteria Lane"

Pam:

[ncpryor56]

Pam: Afton called, she will be out of town for a while...she is going on tour with "The Partridge Family"

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: I will go with her, I love to see her perform, and I miss her so much when she goes out of town!

Mandy Winger:

[ncpryor56]

Mandy: JR have you heard...I am starring in a new movie on the Hallmark channel.

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: JR, that is such great news about Mandy! Why don't we invite her over for dinner so we can celebrate!

Miss Ellie:

[ncpryor56]

Miss Ellie: I want the entire family to donate their coats to the "Good Morning America's Coat Drive" I have also contacted the Anderson family and everyone on the Cartel

Jock

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: That's wonderful, Ellie! I'm so proud of you! Suellen, Pam & Donna's coats will keep some poor person nice and toasty warm this winter!

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? We got some work to do now...

Afton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Afton: I was considering going into the convent, but Cliff proposed and once we were married we moved in together. I am so happy.

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: Afton, can I cook Italian tonight? I want lots & lots of meatballs..

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Bobby, lets adopt some more children from poor third world countries!

Phyllis:

[Kimmekap]

Phyllis: I'm going to be a rap star so I quit...

Sly:

[Vote4Cliff]

Sly: Well, good look Phyllis. I hope you are successful! We will miss you very much.

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: I'm BATMAN!!! Whew!!! Ouch, the desk broke my fall...

Donna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Donna: Ray, JR called. He wants to know if you want to come over and play Batman today.

Ray:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Ray: I'd rather play Poker with Bobby

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Ray, poker and gambling in general is a tool of the devil! But if you don't want to play Batman with JR, come over and play Spiderman with me.

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: I'm a unicorn! Fly pretty pony... Fly!!!

Pam:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: I'm in a biatchy mood today

Liz

[Kimmekap]

Liz: Oh Pam, we can't have that kind of language in THE STORE. Please keep your temper while cleaning toilets...

Jackie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jackie: I love working for Cliff. He is patient, kind, generous and gives me a huge bonus every year. Its the best job in Dallas!

Rebecca:

[Scarlett]

Rebecca: I am so thankful for my three wonderful children, they are the one bright spot in my life.

Kristin:

[Kimmekap]

Kristin: My horoscope says aim lower today...

Katherine:

[Vote4Cliff]

Katherine: I am sooooooo bored with all these goody-goodies in Dallas!

Jamie Ewing-Barnes:

[Scarlett]

Jamie Ewing Barnes: Hey gang, why don't we all pick up and move to Alaska?

Charlie:

[Kimmekap]

Jamie Barnes:Cliff, you didn't put the toilet on the toilet paper roll again...

Charlie: When I grow up, I'm gonna be a leader in censorship

JAck:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jack: You guys don't need to give me 10% of Ewing Oil, I will help you for free! After all we are family

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: I rode the short bus to work today...

Digger:

[Vote4Cliff]

Digger: I love you Clifford, even if you are "special"

Rebecca Wentworth:

[Kimmekap]

Rebecca: Shut up Digger, he's retarded because of your weird disease... Go have another drink...

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: I'm content to just sit here onthe patio drinking iced tea and smiling.

Guzzler (Bobby's friend from college):

[Girl Watching Basketball]

Guzzler: Bobby, why are you even in college? You won't need a degree to inherit your family's forture.

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Guzzler: Hey Bobby, my hair-fro is bigger than yours...

Ray: That mule kicked me in the mouth so hard it straightened my teeth & dyed my hair brown for War of the Ewings..

Jock:

[Girl Watching Basketball]

Jock: Hi Ellie. I can't talk long. I just wanted to let you know that I met a nice guy in South America named Wyatt who is interested in writing my biography.

Afton:

[Kimmekap]

Afton: Cliff, why didn't you tell me you used up all the Summer's Eve again.

Rebecca:

[Scarlett]

Rebecca: Cliff, I have the most fantastic news, Afton is going to give me singing lessons.

Donna:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: No Bonnie, I can't hang out with you tonight. Ray said he was us to have some alone time...

Jock:

[Scarlett]

Jock: You can hang out with me, Ray. J.R. and Bobby have gone hunting with Cliff and I'm all by my lonesome.

Julie Grey:

[Kimmekap]

Julie Grey: JR, I'm pregnant.... April Fools...

James:

[Vote4Cliff]

James: JR, I want to start at the bottom and learn all about the oil business from my real dad. Can I start in the Ewing Oil mailroom and work my way up?

Michelle Stevens:

[Kimmekap]

Michelle: I don't know April about you marrying Bobby... Most of those Ewing wives end up drunk, pregnant, burned, dead or worse... Driving station wagons..

Angelica

[Mickey Fairgate]

Angelica: "It's never too late J.R., It's never too late"

J.R.:

[Kimmekap]

JR: Look momma, the goverment has increased our food stamps...

JOck:

[Scarlett]

Jock: Ellie, Southfork belongs to your brother, and we have no right to take it from him.

April Stevens Ewing:

[Mickey Fairgate]

April: "Bobby, how many times do I have to tell you...I'm not going to dye my hair red and I'm not going to let you call me Pamela while we're in bed"

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: Ok, who bought me this hideous blue & white polk-a-dot shirt... It is so 1975...

Jack

[ncpryor56]

JR: Family I have great news...Ewing Oil is building a new rehab facility for alcoholics, drug addicts, sexoholics, liars, cheaters and other sinners and Sue Ellen and I are going to be the counselors.

Jock:

[Kimmekap]

Jock: Can you treat your mom's addictions too? Sack dresses & chili?

Teresa:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Teresa: "I wish Bobby would learn to go to the potty when he needs to, his undernear are so dirty, I can't hardly stand to wash them"

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: I quit Ewing Oil for good, even for reunion movies!

Carter McKay:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Carter McKay: "It's too bad Tommy and Bobby couldn't get along, I think they'd make a great couple"

April:

[Kimmekap]

April: Til' death do up part... Or I get that part on Walker...

Kendall:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Kendall: Cliff, Marilee is here with some kind of mouse souffle....it comes from Chef Wu's restaurant

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: I'm inviting the Ewings to join Afton and I for Christmas dinner.

Sue Ellen:

[ncpryor56]

Sue Ellen: Sorry Cliff....the Ewiings don't celebrate Christmas.

Donna:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Donna: "We celebrate the jingling of coins in Jock's pockets...he always carries two handfuls of change, to remind us of how rich we are"

Jock:

[Kimmekap]

Jock: Julie, damn girl! You look hot in that sack dress. You can fill it out a lot better than Ellie..

Bobby

[Mickey Fairgate]

Bobby: "Pam, I'm sorry I yelled out Cliff's name when we were in bed last night....it's just that he looks so damn hot in those suits of his"

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: Well, Cliff always had excellent taste.

Julie Grey:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Julie: "J.R. I slept with Cliff because he's much better then you....giving him a copy of the Red File was his bonus for being so damn good"

Cliff:

[kygirl]

Cliff:" What's that Momma? Your favorite candy WASN"T 'Sugar Daddies'?

Raoul

[Steve Winwood]

RAOUL: Now remember Esperanza, from now on, your name is Theresa. Don't worry, no one will notice you're not the same one from yesterday

Jackie

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jackie: "Pam, Alex Ward called again, I told him you went off somewhere with Peter Richards....Alex just exploded, but I didn't tell him where you went."

Pam:

[Scarlett]

Pam: But Alex Ward was going to be my date to the Oil Barons Ball.

Rose McKay:

[Kimmekap]

Rose Mc Kay: I should of been a camera operator...

Carter McKay:

[Vote4Cliff]

Carter: Rose, you screwed up the whole video! You cut off his head in the shot, so it could be any well-endowed porn star, there's no way to prove its Cliff and use it to blackmail him now!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: If they knew I had a "stunt" double in the video than they could really black mail me... Thanks Mark for standing up for me...

Mark

[Vote4Cliff]

(kimme!!! you make me soooo mad!!!) lol

Mark: No problem. They don't call me "Pornstache" for nothing!

Mandy Winger:

[Kimmekap]

Mandy Winger: Hey Cliff, you think you can call Mark to do a "stand in" for you tonight? I'll pay for dinner the next time we go for chinese buffet...

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Once I've had enough vodka, I don't care if its Cliff, Pornstache, Dusty, Raoul...I won't remember it tomorrow anyway!

Jamie Ewing-Barnes:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jamie: I don't know why I ever thought Cliff would love me....all he cares about is the Barnes/Ewing feud, and trying to bed down with Sue Ellen every chance he gets

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: I care about the amount of MSG in my chinese food too...

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: It is very distracting trying to make Barnes-Wentworth the biggest independent oil company in the state when all these women are constantly after me and my eggroll! They just cannot get enough of Cliff-Daddy!

Afton Cooper:

[Kimmekap]

Afton: Keep telling yourself that Cliff, just like I keep telling myself I am the next Whitney Houston...

Jock

[Vote4Cliff]

u r mean kimme ;)

Jock: Good morning Ellie, you look beautiful. I love you so much. Good morning children! How is everyone today?

Teresa:

[Scarlett]

Teresa: Mr. J.R., thank-you for giving Teresa and Raoul the night off to go to the matinee.

Ray Krebbs:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray Krebbs: Jock, can I take a vacation too? I work 7 days/week as ranch foreman, and I never get a day off!

Suellen Ewing:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: I take my daily vacations with vodka & Dr. Elby

Pam:

[Vote4Cliff]

Pam: Anytime I need a break from whiny Christopher, I just call Teresa then I go out to the pool and lie in the sun. Being a mother leaves me so fulfilled!

JR:

[Kimmekap]

JR: All these women around this house taking breaks... How does anything get done at the DOA meetings?

Ray

[Vote4Cliff]

Ray: I never take a break, except to eat my peanut butter sandwich and beer for lunch, then its right back to work!

Donna:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: Miss Ellie never let's me take a break. I'm either sewing sack dresses, watering her ferns, stirring chili, greasing the chain on her exercise bike, cleaning the pool, washing the liquor glasses, buying her push up bras, driving her old butt all over Dallas... No wonder it takes me forever to write a book...

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Maaaamaaaa, JR's being mean to me again so I took a break to come home from the office. Will you make me a snack and rub my shoulders and tell me how wonderful I am until I feel better?

Jock:

[Kimmekap]

Jock: See Ellie, I told you if would of stopped breastfeeding Bobby at 6 years old he wouldn't be so damn whiny all the time...

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: Bobby's a whin-y baaaaby, nah nah nah nah nah! He's a sissy mama's boooy, nah nah nah nah nah!

Pam:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: "That's why I turned to Mark Graison....he knew how to make a woman climax, Bobby never could learn how to do that"

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: Pamela, what on earth are you talking about? There is no such thing.

Afton Cooper:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Afton: "Pam, obviously, Jenna never taught Bobby about how we gals fake it"

Jenna:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jenna: Don't be ridiculous, Afton. You are with Cliff, you NEVER have to fake it!!

Suellen:

[Kimmekap]

Sue Ellen: Jenna, oh yes! You do have to fake it with Cliff & the worst part is he still makes you pay for your own dinner...

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: I don't really give a rat's ass if my women have to fake it or not, as long as I'm satisfied!

Clayton:

[Kimmekap]

Clayton: Trust me, Ellie never leaves without a smile & $100 for a few new sack dresses...

Dusty:

[Vote4Cliff]

Dusty: I'm sorry Suellen, my junk is temporarily out of order. Please try back later.

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Don't worry Dusty, I'll take one for the team. Come on Sue Ellen, let's go...

Jock:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jock: Dammit Ray, I outrank you! Come over here Suellen, sit ol ol' Jock's lap and let's talk about the first thing that pops up.

Bobby:

[Kimmekap]

Bobby: EEEEEWWWW!!! Daddy's been in the viagra again.

Teresa:

[Vote4Cliff]

Teresa: Mr. Jock, you no take too many these pills. Too much boom-boom no good for your heart.

Ray:

[Kimmekap]

Ray: Well, can I have the pills? I'm meeting Donna & Bonnie tonight...

Lucy:

[Vote4Cliff]

Lucy: And me too, Ray, don't forget me!! See you in the hayloft after school!

Donna:

[Kimmekap]

Donna: That's it... I'm going to Washington... Ya'll are just nasty... NASTY & IMMORAL..

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: Donna, I agree with you. Its shameful!

Sly:

[Kimmekap]

Sly: Thank goodness, I'm so glad I have my uncle Harry who is a great role model & honest man...

Phyllis:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Phyllis: Sly, you're so full of crap, you know that we all know what you and Uncle Harry do after hours!!!"

Harry:

[Kimmekap]

Harry: Sly is my cover, it's really what JR & I do... He's my snuggly bear...

Bobby

[Mickey Fairgate]

Bobby: "I don't know about J.R. and Harry.......but Harry has come over plenty of times and shown me how his handcuffs work!!!"

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: May I borrow those handcuffs sometime?

Clayton:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Clayton: "Ellie, you're not going handcuff me to the bed, I don't want to watch you riding me...with your one boob flopping up and down...I'm still not used to a one-boob woman...but it's getting easier"

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

MICKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! Shame on you!!!! :D :D :D

[Scarlett]

Ellie: J.R. is my favorite son.

Kristin Marie Shepard:

[Mickey Fairgate]

<-----------puts my halo back on....Kimme knocked it off!!

[Vote4Cliff]

Kristen: I think I'll cut my hair...I wonder how I would look with a short mullet like Suellen?

JR:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R.: "Kristin, don't think that because you look like Sue Ellen with that mullet, that I'm going to spend more time with you"

Sue Ellen:

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Actually JR, I have a headache tonight. Go ahead and spend the night with Kristen and leave me in peace.

Rebecca Wentworth:

[Scarlett]

Rebecca: Oh no Herbert, I have never been married before, I have no other children.

Marilee Stone:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Marilee Stone: Seth and I had an open marriage...we both slept around with guys!!

Jordan Lee:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jordan Lee: Yeah, I remember those days. Seth was quite a swinger!

Casey Denault:

[Scarlett]

Casey Denault: I hate Dallas. I want to move to Alaska.

Mitch Cooper:

[Vote4Cliff]

Mitch Cooper: I hate Dallas. I want to move to Atlanta.

Jenna:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jenna: I hate Dallas, I want to move to Florida

Jamie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Jamie: I hate Dallas. I want to go mountain climbing in Mexico.

Mandy:

[Scarlett]

Mandy: I hate Dallas. I'm going to move to Denver and bother the Carringtons.

Pammy:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: I can't take the Ewing family anymore, I'm going to fake a car accident, and hide out for awhile in Knots Landing, I'm sure Valene can help me conceal myself

Bobby:

[Scarlett]

Bobby: Gary, why would Pam run away from me, I loved her the way every husband should. Maybe I should have neglected her the way J.R. did Sue Ellen. She was treated like crap and she's still here, can't seem to get enough.

Sly Lovegren:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Sly: "Phyllis, why don't we go over to the Peking Moon restaurant and have some fried wantons"

Phyllis:

[Scarlett]

Phylis: I wish I had a storyline, you know maybe a little something with that handsome devil Cliff Barnes.

Holly Harwood:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Holly: "You know, I got involved with J.R., tried to get involved with Bobby, but the one who really made me want to drop my panties and get busy in his office was Cliff Barnes"

Cliff:

[Scarlett]

Cliff: That's right, I'm Mr. Fantastic, the ladies of Dallas don't lie.

J.R.:

[Mickey Fairgate]

J.R: Cliff's lying again, the ladies of Dallas all talk about his 'shortcomings' behind his back!!

Bobby:

[Vote4Cliff]

Bobby: JR, you know Cliff Barnes would never tell a lie. He is the most humble, honest man in Dallas!

Pam:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Pam: Cliff is not honest, he lied to me about the money I loaned to him for Digger...I have yet to get even with his ass for that

Cliff:

[Vote4Cliff]

Cliff: I didn't lie - I may have slightly embellished the truth, but I didn't lie. I'm a politician after all! Trust me!

Digger:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Digger: Cliff, you lied to Pam...now you have to shine Bobby's shoes, pick the lint off of J.R.'s suits, and iron Miss Ellie's sack dresses for your punishment!!

Ellie:

[Vote4Cliff]

Ellie: Everyone stop picking on poor Clifford! Come on, Cliff, sit down and I'll make you a cup of hot cocoa. Would you like some marshmallow fluff on top?

Jock:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jock: "Cliff, I'd give you a good spanking for being bad, but I learned with Bobby and J.R. that when a boy gets hard from spanking...then it's time to quit."

Bobby:

[kygirl]

Bobby:" Momma, can you pick me up some more hair gel when you go shopping?"

Sue Ellen

[Vote4Cliff]

Suellen: Bobby, you used up all your hair mousse and hair gel, then stole Pam's, and now mine is missing! How much of this stuff do you use??

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Sue Ellen, it takes a lot for Bobby to style his chest hair too...

JR:

[Vote4Cliff]

JR: I don't fuss around with my hair - just put on my toupee and go! No wonder I'm in the office 2 hours earlier than Bob every day!

Cliff:

[Kimmekap]

Cliff: I find soy sauce really gives me that smooth, cheap look for my hair...

Afton:

[Vote4Cliff]

Afton: Cliff, you use soy sauce for EVERYTHING!!! I still can't believe you pour it over your cornflakes in the morning - thats disgusting!

Jackie:

[Mickey Fairgate]

Jackie: Cliff, stop putting your fortune cookies in my desk drawer!!

Pam:

[Kimmekap]

Pam: Hey Cliff, let's prank call JR & sneak into Ewing Oil. We can switch their coffee out for soy sauce.

Bobby: