DIMERCIKS: fanfiction for people with a short attention span

[griffioen]

(d)

There was a young lady named Fallon
Who drank pink champagne by the gallon
It made her dance
And drop her pants
For every Tom, Dick and Allen

[griffioen]

:eek:

I swear I had only one wodka martini
To wash down that red pepper fettucini
But I sure was pissed
as out of the pool mist
appeared, not Amanda, but Karen Cellini

[griffioen]

:sheep:

Krystle Carrington was lying blissfully afloat
On a rug that once was a Rocky Mountain Goat
Alas, her pleasure didn't last long
A cough arrested Blake's tongue
As an assortment of hairs got stuck in his throat

[griffioen]

(u)

I'll tell you about the trouble with Adam
And why he never could hold on to his madam
He liked to play it tough
And give it to them rough
So they came and ran after he'd had'em

[griffioen]

:confused:

There once was a Carrington named Blake
Who wondered why his wife's head so ached
Blind as a bat
He didn't see that
He was sleeping right next to a Krystle-lite fake

[Ms Grant]

This is just BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!

I wish my english was good enough to write Limericks too, but who knows... ;)

I'll give you karma for this! Awesome!!!! Keep 'em coming!!!

[griffioen]

Thank you, Ms Grant. :)

:o

Blake thought he'd scored on that one take
But Krystle delicately pointed out his mistake
When pill protected
Sperm's rejected
And one shot does not an impregnation make

[denver darling]

Witty, clever and cute Griffioen:exit:

I especially loved the ones of Fallon and Adam...fun:D

[Cassie]

Lol Fabulous

[Fantapamela]

Nice! :D :D

But, a Rocky Mountain goat?? :D

[griffioen]

Thanks!


But, a Rocky Mountain goat?? :D

Finding a good rug shot wasn't easy. This is the best I could do: the white rug from "The Proposal" (s4/ ep10)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/dynasty/GOrug2.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/dynasty/goat2piccolo.jpg

P.S. I didn't use that spoiler tag lightly! :D

[alexismarissa]

:eek:

I swear I had only one wodka martini
To wash down that red pepper fettucini
But I sure was pissed
as out of the pool mist
appeared, not Amanda, but Karen Cellini

fantastic !!!!!!!:partytime

[Benny JR]

Very good fitting in Karen's last name.

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/6-2.jpg

Soft music penetrating the candle-lit gloom
Flowers emitting a heady perfume
Champagne one ice
The rug all nice
And Rita has fled to the neighbouring room


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/6.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/6-3.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/6-1.gif

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/4bianco.jpg

There once was a cowboy named Dex
Who used to eat beans before he had sex
He boasted it boosted his thrust
Alexis just moaned in disgust
And continued to think of her ex


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/4.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/4-3.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/4-1.gif

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/1bianco-1.jpg

Angry gazes, they grabbed each other tight
Wrestling on the floor, then ended the fight
Now Bart needed a fag
So Steven gave him a shag
and got out his zippo to give him a light.


PS. You didn't know they smoked, did you?! ;)


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/2.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/2-3.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/2-1.gif

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/5-2.jpg

There once was a playboy named Peter
Who drank pink champagne by the litre
It made him dance
And drop his pants
For every Fritzli, Max und Dieter


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/5.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/5-3.png

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/3bianco.jpg

Be a wife to your husband Blake ordered her.
headstrong Fallon said yes, but did she concur?
Well, she went boom boom
In daddy's vroom vroom
With Michael the wily chauffeur


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/3-2.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/3-3.png

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/7-2.jpg

Dynasty boasted the love that lives forever
A bond so strong no man could ever sever
Being surely no man
Alexis thinks she can
And she'll forever endeavour to break the love no man can ever sever...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/7.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/7-3.png

[Fantapamela]

I think those dimericks deserve some visual illustration, Griff. Why don't you post some of those credits on this forum, even if it are just the jpg's? They are just too funny to keep them just for private viewing. ;)

BTW, I thought you we're going to post the one about "bean fusion"? Too chicken are you? :D :D


I'll give it a go as well.

Joan Collins 's the most beautiful actress on the show
A paragon of femininity, just so you know.
What if she acted like a cartoon
and had to kiss this Dex buffoon
Who cares? La Collins got to be on the cover of HELLO!!!

[Fantapamela]

I've got another one:

The plotholess widenend, the writing increasingly stank.
The actors got wooden, their faces went blank.
Despite the British tart
Dynasty fell apart
But the actors were laughing all the way to the bank!

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/9.jpg

Nobody can tear Blake and Krystle apart.
One evening late - so did the fairytale start -
Blake hit the botlle
And went full throttle
In dynasty a sure way to a woman's heart.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/9bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/9bianco-1.png




Joan Collins 's the most beautiful actress on the show
A paragon of femininity, just so you know.
What if she acted like a cartoon
and had to kiss this Dex buffoon
Who cares? La Collins got to be on the cover of HELLO!!!

Cartoon ... Dex buffoon ... How good that sounds to the ears :D

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/8-1.jpg

Grapes in a bowl, champagne on ice
A fire blazing and the rug all nice
But Steven couldn't wait
for Luke who was late
and went ahead to help himself once or twice


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/8.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/8-2.png

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/10.jpg

Jeff can't get to sleep, he's feeling faint
He starts to sweat, he's loosing restraint
His head aches
His hand shakes
Looks like our Jeff is addicted to paint


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/10bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/10bianco5587lmk.png

[Laura Avery Sumner]

Claudia was mentally lame
Therefore no one can blame
Her first husband for running away
Or her second for being a "gay"
No wonder she set herself aflame!

[Laura Avery Sumner]

A mouth that could win the Kentucky Derby
Eyes as wide and plastic as "Furby"
The mental capacity of a buffoon
While pregnant she swelled up like a balloon
Could only be our "beloved" Kirby

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/81bianco.jpg

There once was a Carrington named Blake
Who got into bed with a wifely fake
But as our man got flirty
And wanted to do the dirty
He got the pill and the Lady got the ache

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/8bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/8bianco-1.png


A mouth that could win the Kentucky Derby
Eyes as wide and plastic as "Furby"
The mental capacity of a buffoon
While pregnant she swelled up like a balloon
Could only be our "beloved" Kirby

"Furby" Kirby ... :cool:

[Laura Avery Sumner]

Welcome to the Kingdom of Moldavia
Eastern Europe's hot spot for depravia
You're in time for our revolution
For our royals, a "final sloution"
And only the Shapiro's can save ya!

[Ms Grant]

Brilliant!!!!!!!

[Afton]

Finding a good rug shot wasn't easy.

Is it ever where Krystle is concerned? ;) Ewww

Loving them! You have quite a talent. Keep 'em coming! :D

[griffioen]

Is it ever where Krystle is concerned? ;) Ewww

Loving them! You have quite a talent. Keep 'em coming! :D

Thanks, Afton.

As to Krystle, you just have to really, really want ... :D

[griffioen]

Blake's valentine :peace:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/11.jpg

Bruises are red and violence is blue
Money is sweet, just as sweet are you
You cried, no, no please
You meant yes, you tease
The night we discovered the true meaning of a drunken screw...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/11bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/11bianco56klm56.png

[Fantapamela]

Blake's valentine :peace:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/11.jpg

Bruises are red and violence is blue
Money is sweet, just as sweet are you
You cried, no, no please
You meant yes, you tease
The night we discovered the true meaning of a drunken screw...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/11bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/11bianco56klm56.png

:D :D :D

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Claudia was mentally lame
Therefore no one can blame
Her first husband for running away
Or her second for being a "gay"
No wonder she set herself aflame!

lol lol lol

Very funny Laura! ;)

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Who hasn´t heard about Sable,
The woman really belongs in a stable,
If Alexis had her choice,
She´d try to keep Sable away from her boys,
Or maybe just strangle her with a cable!

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/12.jpg

His dark almond eyes, his strange yet familiar face
His exotic appearance and his figure full of grace
Fallon's heart skipped a beat
She was swept of her feet
By this enigmatic visitor from outer space


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/12bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/12-3.png

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/17bianco-a.jpg

On an Indonesian rig Steven got defaced
Fallon had her mind and body displaced
Amanda lost her head over Clay
Adam just went – poof! - away
Or, how good casting was left to go to waste ...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/17bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/17bianco-1.png

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/14bianco-a.jpg

There once was a surrogate called Karen
A godsend for ladies who were barren:
She harvested the sperm
Carried the baby full term,
And KEPT the little cherub she was bearin'


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/14bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/14bianco-1.png

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/15bianco-a.jpg

Dominique suddenly vanished from the screen
'cause in a visionary nightmare she had seen
whacky Jackie in khaki
killing innocent Iraqi
and had to be admitted to the nuthouse where Claudia had been


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/15bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/15bianco-1.png

[griffioen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/16bianco-a.jpg

It would be fair to say that Nolan Miller can
be rightfully dubbed a lady killer when
a gown of his wouldn't permit
the actress to comfortably sit
and she had to pee standing up like an ordinary man


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/16bianco.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/cchhristmas/credits/16bianco-1.png

[Alexis Marissa Morell]

Damn, you´re good, griffioen! (*)

[Fantapamela]

Anymore naughty limericks???

Please???

:dancegirl

[Fantapamela]

I mean, dirty dimericks ... :D

[alexandranewman]

These are wonderful! Thanks for the laughs!

[griffioen]

:peace:

I find it extremely offensive that y'all
consider it necessary to call
Joseph the majordomo
a closeted old homo -
he's sure not the only man to like a cue and billiard ball!

[griffioen]

Blake did not like his son being gay
and cut him out of his will for carrying on that way
So Steven figured being sad
would better please his dad
and married the cutest blonde, knowing he'd regret it some day.

[griffioen]

Joel Abrigore was played by George Hamiltan
an actor we now have to call African-American
that's 'cause we can no longer say
someone is "coloured" today -
even if he ressembles a carrot as only a carrot can.

[ethanmartin]

i add little long story.

sammy jo is find,that she isn't pregnang form clay,that she is think.sso she is decide case he get her pregnany.but when she is get office of clay,she is meet steven,whois father of her son,danny.they are argue about danny,but someway they male love passionate.
few weeks later,sammy jo is find,that she is pregnany,but she isn't khow,who he is daddy.she is wish,that clay is daddy,but still feeling for steven.bad luck for her,clay is find her btreay,and tell her,if baby form him he take him or her away form her.sammy jo is reasile marry clay is big mistake,but she khow,that steven is gay.im end,every are happy,baby is form steven,sammmy and steven are remarried after sammy jo is divorce form clay.clay is date leslly,couin of steven.

[Jason!]

Best damn dimercik ever. :confused:

[griffioen]

Dynasty showed a thing before unseen
when Cecil experienced an orgasm on screen.
But as morality eroded
his dicky heart exploded
and Cecil didn't live to enjoy his deed obscene.

http://www.soapchat.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=35669

Conservatives, you see, don't think public ejaculation is funny;
and they would be withdrawing all advertising money
unless it's made clear
that they'll pay dear
who upset the good mores of their Land of Milk and Honey

So it was inevitable, since Cecil had been indulging in vice
and producers have less backbone than mussels and mice
that, come as he might,
to satisfy the right
Cecil would be seen to be paying the ultimate price.


PS
Alexis, being just as bad, escaped the fate of her lover though,
by becoming co-executor of the required punishment on her beau:
still on his willy
she slapped Cecil silly
and earned herself a wild card for the rest of the show.

[Mel O'Drama]

Love it!!!! LMAO here. lol

[Alexis-Colby]

I think those dimericks deserve some visual illustration, Griff. Why don't you post some of those credits on this forum, even if it are just the jpg's? They are just too funny to keep them just for private viewing. ;)

BTW, I thought you we're going to post the one about "bean fusion"? Too chicken are you? :D :D


I'll give it a go as well.

Joan Collins 's the most beautiful actress on the show
A paragon of femininity, just so you know.
What if she acted like a cartoon
and had to kiss this Dex buffoon
Who cares? La Collins got to be on the cover of HELLO!!!

lol very good

Thes are all fab

[griffioen]

Thanks, guys! :wiggle:

[griffioen]

Two more:

http://www.soapchat.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=39001
http://www.soapchat.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=39002

[Jessie]

This is really funny thanks guys. more please.

[griffioen]

http://www.soapchat.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=39007

[griffioen]

http://www.soapchat.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=39008