Poem

[Vixen]

A TOILET ROLL.

Im glad I'm not a toilet roll
Living in the loo,
Have you ever thought how awful
What a toilet roll goes through.

I wouldn't like to be in the position
That a toilet roll must face.
Just imagine the conditions
As it sits there in it's place.

I mean you'd hang there for convenience
The distance an arm away,
It doesn't seem too pleasant
Hanging there day after day.

Sometimes the air would be fragrant
Yet others foul to the nose,
And the sights far from exciting
All these add to toilet rolls woes.


Sometimes you'd be torn off in pieces
And others used in a strip,
Sometimes held very tightly
Or clushed with an iron-like grip.

When finally the last piece is taken
You would now know your life was through,
As you sat there completely naked
Having no more use at all in the loo.

So finally you're tossed in the rubbish
Another replaced the very same day;
And a new roll would hang from your wall space
Again just at an arm's length away.


By...Nicola Nitschke.

[Creena]

The Instant Message Stalker



A pest Imed me today,
He emailed me too,
He asked if I were single,
and asked, how do you do?

He asked all kinds of questions,
wanted all the details,
of my very private life,
demanded that I tell,

Age, sex and location,
he insisted that I share,
along with exact sizes,
of my bras and underwear,

I politely said no,
refused all his requests,
I told him very sternly,
Stop this, don't be a pest,

His Im kept on poppin up,
he asked if I were wed,
by then I was quite annoyed,
by all the things he'd said,

I asked him which part of NO,
he didn't understand,
I told him I was 85,
and wore 6 wedding bands,

but all my husbands now were gone,
and I had all their money,
you want to know about,
their accidents now, honey?

I told him I fart when I walk,
the hair's gone from my head,
I keep my teeth in a jar,
at night I wet the bed,

Sometimes I wander nekkid,
till somebody brings me home,
you wanna get together,
so I won't be all alone?

Suddenly the Im's stopped
so I wrote him an IM,
a little sign then popped up
that said he was offline,

I giggled and I guffawed,
I chuckled and I laughed,
I doubt it seriously,
if my stalker will come back

By Elizabeth Lindberg

[Laceyjo]

CHEERS !!!!!! I love that... well done Creena you get a gold star (*)

[Creena]

I turn on my computer and I'm looking for some action.
I see my online lover and beg for satisfaction.
We go to a private room and you know what happens next.
We think and type and talk about different kinds of sex.

Just about 9 days pass and I find I'm feeling ill.
Maalox, Pepto--NOTHING will make my stomach chill.
I mention it to my online love & we try to figure it
out.
A few more days have passed & my stomach's sticking out!

So, now my head is spinning I don't know what to do.
I'm having sex with no one--EXCEPT...my online boo.
No, wait just a minute. Please tell me this can't be!
He cannot get me pregnant by having cyber sex with me!

I call the local clinic and explain the situation.
All the nurses laugh at me, I'm crying in frustration.
My stomach's getting bigger with every passing day.
Who would have thought you could get pregnant this way?

A pregnancy test was taken, it came back with a yes.
I IMed my online lover and put him to the test.
I told him of my feelings and all my gaining weight.
I told him we were parents and gave him my due date.

When all the shock was over, he gave me an online
*kiss*.
He told me that he loved me & he'd help me get through
this.
My stomach starts to ache I go run to my mom.
I feel the need and start to push & out pops a CD ROM!!

I put it in the computer and while I wait, I pace.
When soon on my computer, comes a beautiful baby's face!
You know this story's fiction but before you take a
risk,
put on a cyber condom...before you get some cyber d*ck



P.S NOOOOOOOOOO i'm NOT talking from experience..:-|

[KC]

(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) RAOFLMAO - BRAVO Creena

too too funny, very impressed!!!

(b) :-|

[Totty]

fantastic Creena!! absolutely fantastic!

[Creena]

Ty Ty Girls but i can't take the credit for writing that poem unfortunately :( , i found it on the net... :)

[Snoopy]

Hmmmm.....Totty, how are you feeling today dear?????
:P

[Creena]

Is that your best "chat up line" Snoop??

[Totty]

at least he asked how I'm feeling, now what am I feeling...

[Creena]

and who????? ( do i really need to ask..:P )

[Vixen]

And what????:-$

[Creena]

and how OFTEN......:-|

[Vixen]

And Where! lol

[Creena]

and can Vixen and i watch????:-| ;) :mrG

[Vixen]

And could you make that Front Row seats in the dress circle please :) .... or should we go all out Creena and get the "Box" (*) seats